SexInf101.com's Sex Blog:

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours and, afterwards, while they're just lying there, the phone rings. Since it's the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. The best friend listens, only hearing her side of the conversation:

"Hello? Oh, hi... I'm so glad that you called... Really? That's wonderful.... Well, I'm happy to hear you're having such a great time... Oh, that sounds terrific... Thanks. Okay. Bye bye."

She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh" she replies, "That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

Seventy per cent of women would rather eat chocolate than have sex.

FALSE: Semen is mostly fruit sugar [fructose] and enzymes - not low-carb. Which explains why there's no Oral Sex Diet.

30 Jun 08

Fred Topous was handed his $5 lottery ticket and just like that he became a millionaire. "I'm happier than hell for him," said friend Rick Westcott.

Topous won $57 million and opted for the lump sum of $34 million. It seems however Topous' past is overshadowing his good fortune. "He's hiding which I don't blame him," said Westcott.

Topous is a registered sex offender. He served 7 years in prison for criminal sexual conduct with intent to commit sexual penetration. In the complaint filed by Grand Traverse County the 13 year-old victim admitted to having sex with Topous several times he was 35 years old when it happened.

"People think he doesn't deserve it because of his past," said Westcott. Since Topous' identity and prior convictions were made public people across the country have been weighing in - many comments are against Topous' lucky break. "That's not right. He paid his debt to society. He's paid his debt to you me and everybody else," said Westcott.

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I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court.

I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue.

My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?"

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.

"Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

The Ramses brand condom is named after the great pharaoh Ramses II who fathered over 160 children.

26 Jun 08

A child porn possession charge lodged against a Department of Industrial Accidents investigator fired for having smut on his state-issued laptop has been dismissed because experts concluded he was unwittingly spammed. “The overall forensics of the laptop suggest that it had been compromised by a virus,” said Jake Wark, spokesman for Suffolk District Attorney Daniel Conley.

Nationally recognized computer forensic analyst Tami Loehrs told the Herald Michael Fiola’s ordeal was “one of the most horrific cases I’ve seen.” “As soon as you mention child pornography, everybody’s senses go out the window,” she said. Loehrs, who spent a month dissecting the computer for the defense, explained in a 30-page report that the laptop was running corrupted virus-protection software, and Fiola was hit by spammers and crackers bombarding its memory with images of incest and pre-teen porn not visible to the naked eye.

Two forensic examinations conducted by the state Attorney General’s Office for the prosecution concurred with that conclusion, Wark said. Still, Fiola, 53, whose wife, Robin, described as “computer-illiterate,” wants his day in court. He intends to sue the DIA for “destroying our lives.” “Our lives have been hell,” said Fiola, a former state park ranger now living in Rhode Island. “I hope to recover my reputation, but our friends all ran.”

DIA spokeswoman Linnea Walsh confirmed Fiola “was terminated,” but declined to say if any internal discipline has been meted out as a result of his name being cleared in court. “We stand by our decision,” she said.

Fiola’s attorney Timothy Bradl is at a loss to understand why. “Imagine this scenario: Your employer gives you a ticking time bomb full of child porn, and then you get fired, and then you get prosecuted as some kind of freak,” he railed. “Anybody who has a work laptop, this could happen to,” he said. “Mike Fiola is a hunt-and-peck kind of computer guy. He can barely get on the Internet.”

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