Hey all, I know its been a while since I posted here. My life has been one hell of a rollercoaster ride and I've hardly had time to be online. But things have calmed down and here I am :)
Well, I have a dillemma. There's this guy in school that I'm pretty good friends with. I've known him since the beginning of last semester (about 5-6 months now), we've had 2 classes together each semester and usually see each other every day of the week. We always have a good time hanging out at school and whatnot.
Now here's the issue. The whole time we've know each other, there's been a definite sexual tension between us. We've talked about doing stuff together, both jokingly and seriously. I'm definitely attracted to him and think it would be fun to do stuff with him, but I know he's not the kind of guy I wanna be in a relationship with. So that basically leaves us with the option of a "friends with benefits" situation. Problem is, I dont want it to ruin our friendship or make things akward. Plus, a part of me feels like a slut even considering this...
So, what should I do? Should I just forget about it? Or should I talk to him about it and see what happens? And if I do talk to him about it, how am I supposed to bring it up? I know there are a lot of things that need to be considered here, and I would really appreciate some external input. Any advice would be great. Thanks!
monie
Posted: 03 Oct 06:32
People can still remain friends even with a few benefits on the side. I've done it. Still doing it really. I don't find anything wrong with it.
And why not go for it? If you're good enough friends and he doesn't want to, you'd probably just laugh it off anyways. It might be awkward at first but it'll then be just another memory. If you never bring it up, how do you know he does or doesn't feel the same?
thetease13
Posted: 03 Oct 06:32
In med school, I had a roommate - male. It was for convenience, finances and sex. With the schedule we kept most were celibate. I found it convenient and we are still friends.
Brandye
Posted: 03 Oct 06:32
I had a friend with benefits. Now he's my fiance :p
But then, both of us were kind of interested in dating each other before we walked into being friends with benefits.
LittleFury
Posted: 03 Oct 06:32
Thanks for your responses :) I'm now feelin like there's nothing wrong with wanting to do this... but how the hell do I bring it up? I mean, I cant just call him and be like, "Hey I wanna f*** you"... haha. Any suggestions on how to go ahead with this without seeming too upfront?
Thanks again :D
monie
Posted: 03 Oct 06:33
Brandye has a good point. In medical school I also had a friend-with-benefits relationship. I still think about her sometimes. With that kind of a relationship, feelings dont get in the way as much. Regarding you trying to find a way to initiate. In college I had a friend for some years that I found very attractive. We were from opposite sides of the tracks, and she was a few years older than me. We got to talking about masterbation on the phone one night, both of us were quite turned on and I could tell she definately was. When we hung up, I immediately drove to her apartment and knocked on the door. We had the hottest nights of sex for the next 2 weeks. It was amazing. We are still friends, and she is married to my best friend. To make the point, make your move while the iron is hot!!!!:D
Jin
Posted: 03 Oct 06:33
While I'm sure that many people have positive "friends-with-benefits" situations I sure didn't. I was friends with benefits with this guy for a year, and after a while couldn't help but develop feelings for him. It began to hurt me so much that he wasn't emotionally attached in any way whatsoever. I'm now with another guy but I still can't manage to get completely over him. I just wish I hadn't gotten into that situation in the first place.
annabegins
Posted: 03 Oct 06:34
Well thanks for all the advice guys, but I decided against it. We're good friends and I didnt want to mess that up. Plus, I found out that he's very inexperienced, and I didnt want his first experiences to be with someone he wasn't even with. Basically now I'm hoping he finds a girl to be in a relationship with that he can experience everything with together. As for me, I kinda found a new guy that I'm seeing now... but nobody knows yet... hehehe.
monie
Posted: 03 Oct 06:34
