Are you asking us if you should even love him, or if you should not feel bad for wanting "big" or even "average"?
My wife and I have a stark difference in our sexual needs. Obviously from me frequenting a sex related website, I have a high drive, while my wife's is very tame. But here's the thing, even if we could never ever have sex again, whether medically, psychologically, physically, or horrible bike accident, we would still love each other. Our love and family and relationship is not solely determined by sex. Sex is an "extra benefit" I guess you would say. One that draws us together and binds us, yet we are already bound in love, so sex is just a reminder.
Now, as for you. What is it you like about sex? Do you enjoy hands? Mouths? Objects? Just sizable penises? There are 1000's and 1000's of ways to have an orgasm, especially for women. You can do tantric stuff, and S&M stuff, and loving stuff. Oral stuff, exhibition stuff, phone stuff. You can masturbate for your man, give him a show. Many people on here can think of many more things, because I'm just one man, and we have very little brains. ;)
What I see you doing in your post is fixate on only the things he can't do. I'm not going to get into all the maths about inches deep of vaginas for pleasure and all that. I think all of that is different per person, and obviously every women has a different idea of what "full" means. But you can't only think about longing for the sole things he can't do. My wife wants nothing to do with anal anything, but I don't label her as a failure of a lover just because that's what I think I need.
If anything, think about the stuff that he can do just as fine and dandy as any other man. Like giving head for example. I could have a 14" penis but that doesn't make my tongue work better than his. Penis size is irrelevant for so many sex things other than a small few. A feeling of fullness, or a bumped cervix. And even that last one only matters to some. But there are ways around fullness even. For example, get a set of like the Lelo Luna balls, and stick them in before sex. I'm sure there are many other products that can do the same.
You also need to think of the things that a small penis can do that a big one can't. For example, even with an average size you can't always just randomly thrust in unannounced. Or if you like anal especially you can't just take off from 0 to 100mph. But he could. Your ravishment one especially I would thing small size would be better, unless you're specifically looking for the "pain" of a forced entry.
So I guess in the end, If this is someone you want to be with, quit torturing yourself thinking of everything he can't do, and spend your time thinking of all the things he can.
Posted: 08 Oct 23:07