OP: Non Pleasurable orgasms

I've had this before. To be honest I've never really kept track of it, because for me it wasn't solid years or whatnot, rather just I'd notice the last several times/weeks were rather humdrum, with solo or with my wife. Without sounding gross, the sensation was like going to the bathroom in the morning. Just a sense of relief. Not the twitchy goodness it "used to be". I did notice this was much more prevalent when I was on a mild antidepressant, but you stated you're not on anything.

And while yes I did read your request of not giving the "all in your head", but at least for me I noticed the more I remembered it happening, the more it would happen. I'd almost trained myself to have mediocre orgasms.

What works for me is I basically saved a "special trick" to jumpstart myself. It wasn't until finding this site that I read about prostate massage, so one day in the shower I swallowed my macho ego BS pride and tried it out. Just for the sake of it being such a new bizarre thing to me instantly turned everything around. First of all it was like an orgasm button, and made it instantly happen. Second, just that "new and exciting thing" thought was enough to make regular sex/solo play fun again.

I hardly ever do that massage. I don't want it to become commonplace or worse a requirement. I basically use it as a pick-me-up when things seem drab. It's almost like flipping a mental reset switch for me now.

Firmus

Posted: 23 Sep 08:41

Thanks for the response Firmus. My fiance has tried prostate stimulation but it wasn't all that satisfying as well. It just felt strange tbh.

Since I've only had the one response in 2 days is there another section I should post this instead or could someone suggest another site if you think it would be beneficial.

Thanks

Surreal

Posted: 23 Sep 08:41

This is a fairly small trafficked forum I think. Sorry for the low response rate. Beyond that I'm not really sure on other sites. This is the only sex one I follow, just for the sake of it being "adult", and not a thinly veiled hookup site or full of nasty comments.

Hope you get something figured out none the less.

Take care...

Firmus

Posted: 23 Sep 08:41

Dear Surreal,
When I first read your post, you had basically answered all the questiones I would have otherwise asked about sexual habits, lifestyle, health, etc. Which is good, since it shows how you've been thinking this through and supplying us with a lot of info! :) It also makes it harder to find that needle in the haystack. And before I continue, please note that I am no medical professional or a professional counselor.

There's a thing that strikes me as important; you write "has not been enjoyable for a few years now". This indicates it has been different. How different was that? And can you pinpoint the moment it had changed? Or when it started to change gradually? While back in your memory, can you recall circumstances that have changed prior or at that time? Anything at all that comes back to you? Maybe something that didn't strike you as significant before, yet now is the first thing to cross your mind?

I know I've also touched the to be avoided subject here (forgive me). And I can totally understand your dislike for "could be stress". Because it seems like the easy answer that doesn't tell you anything and doesn't help you to get anywhere. Apart from putting you outside the doc's office :rolleyes:

Just allow me to share that I find the term so often used by many "all in your head" wrong. It doesn't work that simple. Our emotional state and our thoughts influence the way our body functions. And the other way around. This is no granola-hippie-stuff. It even becomes apparent in our hormonal system. Everyone knows an ill body can pull your spirit down. Or how hormones can set your emotions off. A down spirit can also inhibit us from healing or contribute to making us ill. Our immune-system is scientifically proven to respond badly to (prolonged) stress. As it's triggering a cocktail of hormones influencing the most basic of physical processes. Like how we digest and absorb food and where our body chooses to deposit fat. The other way around; touch and care for our bodies, can make us feel good on all levels. It can trigger a hormonal cocktail that soothes, heals and re-balances us. Scientists like Kerstin Uvnäs-Moberg devote their lives to studying these healing systems in our bodies. Sex is so fundamental and deeply rooted, it's not surprising that sexual functioning and desire is usually the first to suffer, whenever there's an unbalance on one or more levels of our being.

That said: I do think it is wise to get a referral a urologist who specializes in sexual dysfunctions. The fact that you're quite able to present your case like you did at this forum, should be helping you a long way. I'm sorry that the other doctors treated you the way they did. And I hope you'll get the check-up you deserve. Good luck! :)

RedRoses

Posted: 23 Sep 08:42

Thank you for your detailed and well thought out response RedRoses.

I would say that this issue occurred gradually over a period of time. At the time I didn't realize it all that much until my orgasms were much less pleasurable. My sexual desire hasn't dropped or if it has it is minimal. I would be lying if I said I was excited of sex as before but I still find it very gratifying in pleasuring my fiance.

Thank you again.

Surreal

Posted: 23 Sep 08:42