OP: Pain in intercourse

From your description it seems likely that his penis is contacting your Cervix. If you insert a finger you should be able to feel the neck and mouth of it. When a penis pokes or jabs against it there is usually some discomfort or pain. Just touching or rubbing it won't be bothersome.

I recommend that you try different positions and/or that he not thrust until you are certain the angle of penetration is away from the organ. Have him just move around just enough to shift the angle of his penis.

dancingdoc2

Posted: 23 Sep 20:34

The only thing in the vagina he could be hitting would be your cervix. Generally, as we become aroused our vaginas balloon and limit the chance of this happening. All of us have it occur once in a while and it can be a surprise. Not usually damaging and is more common when you are not especially aroused.

The other possibility is that, through layers of tissue, he is actually hitting an ovary. This pain can be excruciating. It is exactly the female analogy to a man being kicked in the balls.

Whichever, you and your partner need to discuss what is happening and what you will each do to avoid this. Else you will become fearful of sex.

G-Spot stimulation is a rather sophisticated technique that too many people talk about without the faintest idea of what they are doing. There are stickies on this topic. Read them in Sexual Health: Women and the other woman's forum.

Brandye

Posted: 23 Sep 20:34

So I believe I mentioned in my previous post that I'm in a very serious and committed relationship with my boyfriend, with whom I regularly have manual and oral sex. However, we have never attempted intercourse, despite the fact that we don't have any moral dilemmas with intercourse and we both want to share the experience.

My problem is that penetration, of any kind, HURTS. I admit, I've never used tampons before, nor have I ever inserted my fingers into my vagina. However, my boyfriend and I, to try to "ease our way" into the intercourse process, have attempted manual penetration... But no matter how much foreplay was involved and how private and comfortable we both were, the moment his fingers are in me just a little bit, I feel like I'm being stabbed with a knife and I say "OW, OW, STOP!", ending up emotionally distraught (sobbing and shaking) afterwards. I have found that I can tolerate having his tongue penetrate me, but only if I am consciously doing deep breathing exercises and trying my hardest to relax.

I don't have any kind of traumatic experience to make me wary of penetration. My boyfriend is the most sensitive and laid-back guy I can imagine; never has he pressured me to move farther than I was comfortable with, even when we were living together over the summer. I trust him completely, but that is not the issue. When I seize up, I don't think about anything other than the pain.

Having this happen all the time makes me feel awful. I want to be able to share more sexual experiences with him, and I feel like this pain is denying the both of us a really wonderful bonding experience.

Is this a common problem, to this intensity? What can I do to correct this? Have any of you had a similar problem?

Thanks very much for your time and advice!

kate_luana

Posted: 24 Sep 00:28

I know where you are coming from- right up to the point where I lay shaking, tensed, and sobbing in my boyfriend's arms, saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" because he wanted to have sex just as much as I did and I felt like a complete failure for not being able to please him.

Definitely schedule a gynecological exam, but in the meantime, lock yourself in your room, grab a mirror, and take a look at yourself. You say that you have never used a tampon; have you tried? Regardless, what does your hymen look like? Here are some pictures of various hymens; in addition, there is the microperforate hymen, which has a hole even smaller than the narrow opening.

If you feel like your hymen looks fairly normal, then you definitely want to talk to your gynecologist because this may be a more involved problem. However, if you are pretty sure that you have a narrow, cribriform, microperforate, or septate hymen, take a deep breath because this is resolvable. There's a minor surgical procedure that will open up your hymen and all of a sudden, things (like inserting a tampon) become possible that were not before. You may want to explain to the gynecologist in your initial appointment that you are concerned that your hymen may be abnormally perforated, and if so, that you want a hymenectomy. Explain the symptoms that you are having.

There's a thread somewhere around here called "Hymenoplasty- from the patient's side" that I started about my experiences with a microperforate hymen, a few gynecologists, and finally surgery. Unfortunately the boyfriend and I split up for entirely different reasons before I had a chance to use my newfound ability to have sex without screaming, but hey.

Good luck, and feel free to PM me with questions about the procedure. I'm not an expert at anything but being a patient, but I'd be glad to help if I can.

JustAGirl

Posted: 24 Sep 00:29