OP: Sex with a torn ACL... [m]

I for one wish you well with your upcoming operation. A close friend had her right knee replaced a month ago and following her post op healing has been educational. She is doing very well and is now driving a little.

As for sexual positions, have you looked at the animated illustrations on the site's Home page? My inclination is to recommend what I call the "X" or "Y" positions in which the two of you recline on your sides facing each other. The difference between the two is in the position of your legs, either being parallel to crossing each other.

Encourage her to become proactive and look at the many illustrations to see what might appeal to her. Acknowledge that she is not the most curious that is OK yet learn if she will expand her comfort zone for this purpose.

dancingdoc2

Posted: 05 Oct 21:48

It seems most threads about knee-surgery are concerning women. Advice for men with knee-problems are often concerning "bad knees", which I think may not be the same... But who knows? Mentioned are:
-positions on the side (the X and Y as DD2 puts it),
-particularly her lying on her back with her legs draped over you, lying cross-wise on your side.
-you standing with her on the edge of the bed; her putting her butt up to the appropriate height, so that you don't have to strain your knees. She could do the movement, though I'm not sure she'd be persuaded to try that, given your description.
-her on top is of course easiest. Which does not necessarily mean she needs to be sitting up and riding like a cowgirl, she could also lean all the way forward with lots of snuggling and skin-contact. Not so much thrusting, but more like: slowly gliding. Maybe that would be a more likable option for her to try?

And since she seems to enjoy being still, maybe it would be an attractive idea for her to try enjoying stillness together?
I don't know how you feel about this. But while she's on top and you're inside her, you could actually be still. You could also flex your pelvic floor muscles to make your penis move. It's a very delicate movement. But in my experience: also very intimate and pleasurable. It's a way of connecting to eachother. Not that it's usually an entire lovemaking-session of stillness ;) But perhaps it's an idea that makes her feel more comfortable with being in the saddle?

Your physical therapist will probably give you clear instruction on what you should and shouldn't do. Based on those "rules" I guess it's just a matter of trying what works. Careful though! And get well soon! :)

RedRoses

Posted: 05 Oct 21:48

First it was my right knee but day before yesterday my left, feeling ignored, decided to also 'go bad'. Surgery not an option and physical therapy can only do so much. Walking, swimming, static ballet all will help your recovery. As far as sex goes - sit upright with legs spread, have her drape her thighs over yours and tilt her pelvis so you slide inside, then flex lower back (using arms to help with balance) you can at least hit the G-Spot. Might be too "athletic" for her but it is another option. She could also cross her ankles and put both legs up against one of your shoulders whereupon you can kiss/nibble/lick her ankles.
Some further ideas for you.

EvilEvilKitten

Posted: 05 Oct 21:48

Thanks all for the ideas. I'm sure I'm just over thinking it because I'm getting antsy. And sorry EEK that you're having troubles as well. I guess I'm really fortunate that a quick surgery will have me right as rain in no time. I'm sure my wife is more than athletic, as she's a certified trainer, but it's just mentally for her more than anything wanting to be the "performer". I'm really not sure what started it but she's just become very closed off sexually over the last 6-8 or so years. Depression, meds, the pill, kids, having to live with me, etc, I'm sure have a lot to do with it. All the meds stuff has been rectified over the last year, and I'm happy to just coast along and see how things progress. If I can just control myself to not be all pushy is the key. I'm really bad about flip flopping between "this is great!" and "this sucks!" within a 3 day period if I feel ignored.

I will say though the thing that's bothered me the most with my knee is the people with their snide comments of "bha ha ha you're getting too old for that kid stuff! Better settle down!" Maybe I'm just weird, but I always answer that I'd MUCH rather go through injury because I'm out living life, than avoid it living as a sheep, sitting safely on my couch.

Firmus

Posted: 05 Oct 21:48

With a cast, brace or whatever there need to be accommodations. A perfect time to try something different! I cannot imagine your wife cutting you (and herself) off simply because of an injury. Time to find different positions, techniques and devices to keep the flame burning. And, who know? Some of the exploation may continue after you heal.

Get well and stay off your leg!

Brandye

Posted: 05 Oct 21:48

After my heart attack and triple by-pass, we were given the green light to resume sex after about 10 weeks, but at that point, I could still not muster the muscle power to be on top. We did want to see if we could still get all our plumbing to operate, however, so we took it VERY slow, and she did get on top, not lying on me, but sitting up cowgirl-style. What we found was that she actually liked that position more than any other and it became her new favorite for the remainder of her life! Let her see what happens--you may be surprised, as was I!
good luck with it all,
Michael

mikkiji

Posted: 05 Oct 21:49

But its nothing a scotch while relaxing in the hot tub won't fix.

EvilEvilKitten

Posted: 05 Oct 21:49

Just an update. Surgery went very well. I'm 2 weeks into it and already my swelling is almost completely down. Already have 97 degrees of flex back, with 135 being my goal in paper. I'm a very limber man so this is really the only thing that bothers me. Oh, and apparently everyone in the planet is a comedian when you see a guy walking down the street with compression hosiery on one leg. But I'll take the jokes instead of a blood clot, thanks. Ladies, I have a new appreciation for things you go through, like putting them on when hair is growing on your legs, and how they bunch up behind the knee! :)

As for positions, well, we've only had sex once since that mattered, but I was a bit loopy from pain meds so I had to quit for me. Not a whole lot of stepping up, so we're already back to the same old.

Thanks all!

Firmus

Posted: 05 Oct 21:49

Howdy! It's great to see the site is back up. Sorry to hear about your ACL and good luck with the recovery.

I think your best bet would be with both of you lieing down, either spooning or with her on her back in a typical missionary position but with you on your side perpendicular to her with one of her legs resting on your outer thigh and another on the side of your abdomen. You could try placing different sized pillows between your legs at different points to provide support still letting you move. Also, the type of cloth covers that the Liberator pads use really work well keeping them in place instead of steadily shifting like pillows - something that really comes in handy with damaged knees. If it was just your ACL that was damaged the recovery time for sexual activities is probably going to be faster for things where you are standing with your legs close together and she is on the edge of the bed as long as you're mindful to avoid twisting and sideways forces that your doctor should be able to explain.

Of course it would be great if she used this as an opportunity to be more active herself...

funinthesun

Posted: 05 Oct 21:49