OP: Threesome Dynamics Gone Haywire

Hi folks,

If any of you can offer some advice on what to think about the following post, any advice would be great and welcome.

A few days ago, I met a couple of young, rambunctious guys out on a vacation- Ollie and his friend Stan. Ollie asked me to go hang out at his hotel room, and sure enough, we started to get it on. About half an hour later, Stan inserted himself into the action- and the three of us decided to go at it, did it, and had a very funny laugh at the end of it. Ollie invited me to spend the night with him and looked a bit hurt when I said that I wanted to go home and sleep.

The next day, Ollie invited me to hang out with him again and another friend (his best friend, in fact), Jack. Sure enough, we had another 3way and were all joking around like naughty children in school. They asked if I had any friends to introduce their way and I agreed to introduce my friend Denise to see if a 4way would be feasible. But immediately afterwards, Ollie and I horsed around and got on well. .

Out of all of them, I liked Ollie the most. We connected very well due to the fact that we share the same birthday and found it easy to converse about anything. THe thing we laughed about most was how we mistaken with our ages. Ollie thought I was 23 (but I'm 29), while I thought Ollie was 26 or 27 (but is actually 24). While having our 3ways, he was the only one I kissed-- Stan and Jack, while cute, don't do it for me. Ollie's the one I am (or was) attracted to.

The next night, we arranged to meet up once again and this time, Denise agreed to come with me and meet the guys. Ollie, Jack and Stan said that they would meet us for a coffee before going over to the hotel. And when Denise and I got there, only Jack and Stan were there- they said Ollie was having a nap due to his slightly drunken state, and would meet us all back in the hotel room.

However, when we all got to the hotel room, Ollie was gone. Neither Jack and Stan knew exactly where he was, but then Jack mentioned another woman named Patricia- and that Ollie was a "popular fellow." I was disappointed that he wasn't there- but I figured since he was on vacation, I tried not to take it too personally. The last thing I wanted to do was block Ollie's freedom, even though I liked him.

With Ollie gone, Stan started hitting on Denise, while Jack started trying to cuddle me- all the while talking about how much Ollie liked me. I was pissed off and disappointed at Ollie being gone in the first place (especially at how he knew I was heading over with Denise), but I figured since he's a young man on vacation, I wasn't about to impose any kind of rules on him.

Denise didn't find Stan appealing, so she asked me to walk her down to the train station- and then told me she found Jack attractive, and would help me jump either Jack or Ollie. We both left, but Stan called me back and asked me to go back up and hang out. I was aware that it most likely entailed a 3way between the two of them, and at that point, I thought, 'why not.' So I went back to their hotel room and had a 3way with Jack and Stan. I didn't kiss either of them, (and that encounter was memorable for how many goofs happened- if you can picture porn stars continually f***ing up a shot and laughing at one another, there it is). We fooled around for a long time, and Ollie didn't show up back at the room for hours.

Afterwards, Jack and I had a chat after Stan went to bed. I mentioned that Denise thought he was cute, and that we were willing to jump him or Ollie for a potential 4way, at which Jack said he'd talk to Ollie about. Jack also talked extensively about Ollie- and how Ollie made himself out to be the kind of guy who makes himself out to be a player and really isn't; is in fact a pretty religious guy and softie underneath his exterior. I also found out that while Jack has been involved in other 3ways/4ways (as have I), and that this was Ollie's first 3way. Jack and I also talked about our own 3ways and agreed that the standard rules of engagement went out the window with 3ways, but that a different set of rules applied. I took off and told Jack I'd talk to them later.

The problem now is that they have all vanished. They abruptly checked out of their hotel room the afternoon after I had my 3way with Jack and Stan, and while I have a contact number for their international mobile phone, they haven't made any attempt to contact me. I'm under the impression that something went down and went wrong, because I knew their plans were to stay in town indefinitely- and that the hotel checkout happened at least partially because of the last tryst.

I sent them a couple of text messages and left a couple voice messages requesting to talk it all out, but haven't received any kind of reply. I have a feeling that something would have gone down between Ollie and Jack, and also that I'm not being spoken to. It pisses me off a lot that I seem to be frozen out because one rule I've always observed with my 3ways is to never leave any bad blood between people, but they don't seem to have that awareness. I also resent that as the woman in this 3way, I may be being blamed for this, too, and I don't really think I'm guilty of anything.

I'm basically aware that there isn't much else I can do. If there's anything I do feel sad about, it's that I really enjoyed Ollie's company. I liked trading opinions with Jack, but Ollie was the one I wanted to get to know further and make a better friend out of.

And an irony to this story is that I had actually planned to pull Ollie aside after the tryst with Jack and Stan and tell him that I didn't feel like shagging his friends anymore (Stan didn't do it for me at all, and Jack had left a sneaky impression on me). But my impression too is that all this is gone, and all I can really do is move on.

If anyone has any advice for me, that would be great. This all just happened a couple days ago and has been bugging me outrageously. Thanks loads.


Posted: 01 Oct 22:19


WOW! I feel like I need a program... LOL.

It sounds like you had an interesting vacation, and all I can really offer as advice is just take it that way. You really have no control over what these guys think or what they do. So if they don't return your messages, I'd just look on it as an interesting experience. A lot of people operate on the rule, "What happens out of town, stays out of town." That may be all these guys wanted- a fun vacation.

I do thinks it's a little rude for them just to leave without saying good-bye, but there isn't much you can do about it. Just try to take the pleasure from the situation and let the rest go.

Take care and remember to always Play Safe.


Posted: 01 Oct 22:19

I'm a bit dubious...this smacks a bit of fiction. While i'm sure there are 3ways happening all the time, i'm a bit leery of accepting this as a true story.

That said, all i can say is, CASUAL SEX!

You engaged in casual (VERY CASUAL) sex with not 1 but 3 strange men. You should chaulk this up to a fun experience and let it go.

Do you really think you could pursue any form of relationship with a guy you shagged - an his 2 or 3 friends? You think he'd want to tell his folks how you two met?

"Hi Mum, this is .....my girlfriend......how did we meet? Oh, i was on holiday with my 2 bestfriends, and we shagged like minx's for 3 days..we had 3ways and 4ways and i knew she was the girl for me."

Not good, right?

let it go!


Posted: 01 Oct 22:19

im w/ Rawbob.
seems kind of out there, but stranger things have happened.
also, in the fact that did you really expect a name/number/address...etc.. from this Ollie guy? maybe he was just having fun on vacation.


Posted: 01 Oct 22:20

Thanks for all the replies!

Well I still have no idea why Ollie and company left their hotel room. But I did manage to track them down and basically what it boils to is what's good for the gander ain't good for the goose in their book.

Ollie turned out to be pretty pissed off at me for shagging his friends- even though he was with another girl. I said "hey, no harm no foul," but poor boy got his ego a bit twisted. (In the eloquent words of a guy buddy of mine- "you stomped on it." whoops).

At finding this out, I felt really "oh, GREAT"- this is what I get for dealing with boys, not men. But I can't help feeling a bit sad over how we aren't friends laughing at what's happened.

But win some, lose some. Next time I'll stick to doing 3ways with friends *I* know, and not random strangers I meet out of nowhere.



Posted: 01 Oct 22:20

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Posted: 13 Jun 05:16

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