Both men and women have reported erotic dreams from puberty all the way to death. You specify "wet dreams" which involve ejaculation by a man whilst in a dream state. Men produce both sperm and semen constantly from puberty throughout their lives and, especially in younger men who produce more, the "storage capacity" of the body is exceeded. Some sperm and semen is reabsorbed into the body. If there is too much for reabsorption, it has got to be discharged as through ejaculation either with the help of a friend or alone. Or, it builds to the point of getting out on its own. The long term label has been "nocturnal emissions" because this spontaneous ejaculation usually comes during sleep and erotic dreams are usually remembered, at least in part. Men, therefore, sometimes awake in a puddle or during ejaculation.
Women do not have the imperative of dumping excess anything and therefore do not appear to have wet dreams. We do sometimes awaken in a high state of arousal and finish ourselves off. It is unusual (not impossible) for women to sleep through an orgasm accompanying erotic dreams.
As men age, the need for the release is reduced both by having somewhat regular sex and masturbation and because the production of sperm and semen naturally decreases. Why you would begin to have wet dreams at 40 is something idiosyncratic about your body or lifestyle.
Whether the dream is auto-erotic, homo-erotic or hetero-erotic is likely irrelevant - simply random firing of neurons causing those images. I happen to be bi-sexual leaning to the side of a lipstick lesbian, but my sexual dreams always involve a male and usually one of those with whom I wanted to have sex but somehow never got around to it.
Posted: 03 Oct 07:31