OP: Orgasmic Birth

Orgasmic Birth
Having a baby is a transcendent experience that deeply affects an individual emotionally, spiritually and physically; however, society has developed an anxiety - in many cases fear - about the process. The wisdom behind orgasmic birth is meant to dispel some of the cultural myths that many have come to accept about childbirth, namely that it is it is meant to hurt and it is something to be afraid of. This article will explore a view of labor that regards it not as a traumatic experience, but rather one of soft bliss and ultimately, ecstatic pleasure.

Science and Sensuality in the Delivery Room
Embodying the sensuality and surrender that is involved in conception can help to shape a softer, more peaceful experience during labor. When women are confident enough to tap into the strength and inner spirit that millions of others before them have drawn from, they too can labor with little to no pain, benefit from self-control, and feel bliss.

Childbirth educators know that the pathways involved in sexual pleasure are stimulated when a woman delivers a baby. Christiane Northrup M.D., author of ‘Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom’ teaches that if a female allows herself to succumb to labor in the same manner that she does when she welcomes an Orgasm, childbirth can in fact be pleasurable.

It is basic science; labor releases an incredible array of hormones such as Oxytocin (known as a ‘love hormone’), endorphins and Prolactin - all of which, in Dr. Northup’s words, are “the molecules of ecstasy”. They are powerful enough to generate pleasure, and even euphoria, if you can overcome the counter-effects caused by fear and stress.

A Different Perspective from the Mainstream
Many believe that the strong association between pain and childbirth came about due to two main contributors, namely modern medical intervention and a bad rap from the media. Unfortunately, this notion has the power to influence and even compromise a birth experience, making it go from positive to positively painful. The good news is that there is a fine line between pleasure and pain, and the key to achieving orgasmic birth is to transform one’s perception of pain.

Unlike delivery scenes in Hollywood movies depicting moms to be frantic, helpless and overwhelmed - Dr. Marsden Wagner, a past director of Women’s and Children’s Health (World Health Organization), describes the birth experience as something that is gentler and more natural, “It’s got to be like it is when you make love to someone. It’s got to be safe and secure and uninterrupted; that is how you have an orgasmic birth.”

But isn’t having a baby supposed to feel excruciating!? In an interview with Emmy Award winning correspondent Juju Chang, Dr. Northrup further explains that, “One’s expectations change the way pain is perceived. Whenever you expect pain, you tense up your muscles in anticipation, your stress hormone levels go up and, consequently, you feel more pain.”

Fear also makes pain less tolerable; as soon as it manifests, your ‘feel good’ hormones can’t take root because the physical effects of tension overwhelm them. This outcome is so powerful that it even prevents the cervix from dilating as fully. If you have reservations about your own ability to master fear and pain, there is good news; Mother Nature has provided women with a way to cope with the intensity of childbirth, naturally.

Hormones: Nature’s Painkiller
Remember the “molecules of ecstasy”? Those same hormones that are released at the time of sexual stimulation, foreplay, and even at the thought of love, reach their pinnacle during labor. As long as there aren’t any medical concerns, allowing the birth process to unfold naturally brings forth a rush of natural painkillers and powerful endorphins, which enable a woman to effectively manage and transcend the intensity of contractions.

A contraction is tightening of the upper uterus, coupled with a slackening or relaxation of the cervix and lower uterus. Understanding the soothing power of these hormones gives women the reassurance that they can successfully overcome labor contractions. By staying calm and focused, a woman supports her progress as she relaxes ‘down and out’, rather than tightening ‘up and inward’. Sexual stimulation during contractions also helps reduce pain; doing so will actually draw more blood flow into the genital area, making the tissue supple and the perineum (area between the vaginal opening & anus) less likely to tear.

Trusting Your Body
Women’s bodies are designed to successfully handle childbirth, yet many experience doubt or anxiety over their capacity to do so. Some of this can be attributed to a lack of education and preparation. Fortunately, midwives and doulas can help create strategies to cope with the wave of changes the body goes through during labor. They encourage women to welcome the natural sensations of childbirth and submit to the intensity of labor, rather than permitting fear and stress to stifle the process.

So, when a woman experiences the intensity of a contraction, the idea is to apply a philosophy toward childbirth that is similar to that of achieving an orgasm. The object is to transform/translate that experience of powerful physical sensation to one of submission, in order to let what needs to happen in the body pass, rather than letting it tense the body.

How to Have/Prepare for an Orgasmic Birth
Pain doesn’t have to be part of the equation if you care for your body and get yourself ready for the birth. Remember, the preparation for an orgasmic birth is as individual as it is subtle; exercise, proper nutrition, good sleep habits and resting when your body needs it is all part of the groundwork. Additionally, many women call upon meditation, affirmations, yoga or hypnotherapy to complement their preparedness.

Feeling comfortable and secure in your birth environment is also key. In an article by Elizabeth Davis CPM, Co-founder and Director of the National Midwifery Institute, she writes, “We know how to set the stage for romance and, not surprisingly, this matters too when it comes to knowing ecstasy in birth.” If a woman could undergo childbirth somewhere where she feels safe and supported, she could be more apt to experience pleasure, rather than pain. Whether she chooses do it at home or in the hospital, it is vital that she is as proactive as possible to facilitate that type of environment.

Final Thoughts
Not every woman needs to embark on an orgasmic birth, nor is everyone capable of doing so. People’s pain tolerances are very different and it is difficult to estimate how each will react when they’re actually experiencing the process.

The value of orgasmic birth is in exposing people to a more holistic view of childbirth, one that is joyful and nurturing. Moreover, it is significant because it reminds us of women’s innate ability to handle the process with confidence and dignity.

Posted: 17 Aug 23:13


I am now surprised that this hasn't been a covered subject on this site. But what do you think about it? Is it entirely possible that birth can be an ecstatic and orgasmic experience?

This site has always been a point of reference for me but I only recently joined this as an actual member, so it does shock me a bit that this has not been fully explored as a topic of interest.

It might be just me, but if it takes a night of passion and pleasure (assuming by the way, I know this isn't the case with some) then birth should kinda follow into a similar pattern.

But seriously, any ideas, thoughts or opinions on this topic?


Posted: 30 Sep 19:52

Shocks you? A bit very over reactive. There are women, in life and in literature, who describe giving birth as the ultimate sexual experience - and it obviously is. Perhaps in the modern world we have made such a natural event so technical that the pleasure and the otherworldly have been obliterated by technology and medical concern.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:52

Lol, it's not shocking to me that it's possible, the first time I discovered this was on a website for unassisted childbirth back in 2004 0r 2005, either way I was in my mid teens when I first discovered this, but I'm just surprised that it hasn't been a discussion on this site itself.

20/20 did a story on orgasmic birth and I for one, would love for this to happen to me. Birth is an extension of a sexual union...so why not let it be a natural process? Why not continue that sexual union?


Posted: 30 Sep 19:52

Makes sense. The man is done and we continue for nine more months. We deserve a bigger payoff.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:53

I wish EEK would make a comment on this page. But here's what I think. (By the way, take it with a grain of salt because I'm a 20 year virgin college student only now starting to get into the dating game) :) So, what do I know? :D

But if I'm correct...it really depends on the mindset of a person. I HEAVILY HEAVILY believe in the beautiful power of the mind. The reason why birth is painful is because society makes it so. Think about it...in all birthing scenes the mother is screaming...as in screaming "DRUGS!!! DRUGS!!! I NEED DRUGS" or "GET THIS BABY OUTTA ME!!!".

We tend to be influenced a lot by what society says...keep this in mind. So why can't it be possible that birth can be pleasurable??

Let's make comparisons to sex and birth...shall we?

Sex- there are so many positions to which this can occur (I don't need to explain it since the positions are on this website)

Birth- believe it or not, the birthing position we have grown accustomed (women on their backs, with their legs spread wide) is not the only birthing position that there is. Actually, I don't really see the logic in which this position is beneficial for the baby to come down the birthing canal. Women can squat, be on all fours...etc (the latter of which I would find birth to be a little bit more erotic)

Sex- a penis goes in
Birth-a baby comes out

In most cases the vagina is meant to stretch to accommodate whatever comes in or out

Furthermore for those who believe in the G-spot, understand that when the baby comes down the birth canal...there will be pressure, much like when a penis goes in the vagina, there is pressure.

Now if there was anyway to channel the mind into thinking that the pressure you feel can be pleasurable enough to make you come during the birthing process, that would definitely be a plus.

Sex-is released upon orgasm, it can also be released during breast stimulation
Birth-oxytocin starts the birthing process

so yeah, if it's going to be painful, you might as well take the orgasm as the jump start.

Speaking of which, an orgasm is about 33 times stronger than an anesthesia...but I may need to get more solid facts on that.

So, here's my logic...if it took a lovemaking session to make a baby, I sure as hell would love another lovemaking session to be the reminder and the reason why the baby is in our lives.

If you don't take my word for it, this was the site that made me a believer and a firm advocate for women being able to take back their bodies during pregnancy all the way up to birth.

If you get the chance, read the birth stories, some of it is pure birth erotica...

Furthermore, there's definitely a movement about women being more educated and being able to make their births as natural as possible. Let's not remove the extension of sexuality that occurs during pregnancy because essentially...pregnancy is just that...the extension of sexuality. It sure isn't an end to it


Posted: 30 Sep 19:53

This is my first time hearing about this. But interesting concept. I would think that someone would be in too much pain for it to be orgasmic. But I haven't had a child yet so I could be wrong. But i know when I have cramps I don't want to think about sex or cumming. Thanks for the info. I'm gonna look further into this.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:53

Well pain in labor tends to increase from the first contraction. Assuming that this is the case, one would have to have some kind of focal point to manage through the pain.

I do cramp during my period...sometimes it hurts more than other times...I don't like to swallow meds. I just reach for the vibrator, have my orgasm, and then the pain goes away on its own. And of course, the vibrator is washed and sterilized for later usage...


Posted: 30 Sep 19:54

And looky what I found out about: there's a paperback coming up, to be released june 8, 2010 in ths US. "Orgasmic Birth: Your Guide to a Safe, Satisfying, and Pleasurable Birth Experience" by Elizabeth Davis and Debra Pascali-Bonaro. This might have some good info...

About Oxytocin: I've got a great book about all the benefits you get from this beautiful cuddle-hormon: "The Oxytocin Factor: Tapping the Hormone of Calm, Love, and Healing" It is written by Kerstin Uvnas Moberg; an MD&PhD from Sweden who combined all kinds of research into meaningful and understandable information. Her goal is to emphasize the 'good side' of our system. Instead of research always looking for what hormones cause you to experience stress and fight-flee-respons, she looks into what can help people relax and heal themselves. Our bodies are so beautifully capable of such things :) It's not about orgasmic birth, does consider birth/breastfeeding/love/bonding/intimacy/the healing power of touch/etc, so I would highly recommend it. Anyways, better read it yourselves, I'm not your best translator ;)


Posted: 30 Sep 19:55

Funny that you should mention Debra Pascali-Bonaro, she lives in my state.

As for the the oxytocin factor, this is why I can believe that as women, we can change the perspective form birth being painful, to birth being close to sensual. Hell, it is sensual.

I'm a strong advocate for women having the choice to choose whatever birth styles suit them, whether it is homebirthing, unassisted or hospital. But women need to understand that they must know their bodies in and out. Such a travesty how the patricharcal system damages women far beyond just how a woman is "supposed to be"...

I have always believed that pregnancy is an extention of overall sexuality. But we don't embrace that, we are taught not to.

I may be young, but I already know I want a homebirth when my child is first born. I can honestly imagine it.

Oxytocin in its sythetic form is known as pitocin. Why induce labor when you have the hormones right there in front of you?


Posted: 30 Sep 19:55

In Holland it's considered normal to give birth at home :) You usually only go to the hospital if there's an indication you may need it. On the other hand: only recently it was decided that a woman could always ask for drugs. It requires that an anesthetic is always present in a hospital, which wasn't the case. There are more things about to change: there weren't always people around to perform ceasarions either. When they finally got to the hospital to perform surgery, it was too late... Critics also say women are brought in the hospital too late when there are complications while giving birth at home...

Anyways, I'm in big favor of home birthing. But most of all I think women should have the choice how to deliver their baby in an environment that is safe to them :) And it's a good thing to tell the pregnant that there are more options to where and how to give birth. Your remark about positions is also a good one, goddess. Isn't it stupid that some doctor's/midwifes refuse to assist in a birthing in other positions? While gravity could really give you a helping hand in this!

Also: the way women are asked to lie down way before it's coming out and push-push-push seems not the best thing, just the normal thing... There are those who recommend for a woman to keep moving and tilting her pelvic (walking, wiggling while sitting, leaning forward) as long as possible. Until the baby is nearly there, than squat and push it out. The squatting should take about 10 minutes. There's something called a birthing shell. This way you could sit in a squatting position more comfortably (we western women are not as good at squatting it seems, so this is a nice extra help :)). You could alternatively lie down on your knees. This should have the same benefit of gravity, a little less on the position of your pelvic.

I'm not an expert on this, don't get me wrong, but I did do a lot of reading and watching docu's :)

Do there happen to be any midwifes on this forum? Would be nice to get opinions.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:55

this almost seems contradictory because so many women say that there is such a thing as a penis being too big. yet an infant is much larger than any man's penis will ever be.:confused: i have never seen an orgasmic birth but i have witnessed a birth without screaming and pain. the mother was very relaxed through the whole process. i guess it is a mental thing to have a good birthing experience.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:56

You should off course take into account that there are extremely high levels of hormones going on at the process of birth. This makes the vagina more elastic and the surrounding tissues softer. The same hormones that are active during sex are present in extreme high levels during birth. Part is mental, but mental and hormonal are more close than people may think. If a woman gets disturbed during the stage her body is trying to build up oxytocin and is highly relaxed, the disturbance activates adrenaline. The adrenaline brings down oxytocin, therefor slowing down the birthprocess. And contributing to more pain. The state of mind and feelings of the mom-to-be is critical for the birthing process, so are her surroundings. This is definitely worth ensuring for faster, easier and more pleasurable births.

The way you describe this woman as relaxed during the whole process sounds great! :) And it's something to unlearn in general opinion; how women may view birth that beautiful way instead of screaming and emergency. True, not every birth will go as hoped. In few there are complications. In the end what seems most vital for a mother to call it a "good" birthing experience, appears to be her autonomy during the process. The way people responded to her, respected and supported her and let her be in charge of her own process. It also appears that a birthing experience is so deeply imprinted that women remember close details even over 40 years later! Even if birth is complicated, protecting this birthmemory is definitely worth ensuring.

That's so cool you've witnessed birth! I'm yet to have that honor. Once I've completed basic training and have found a mom-to-be who wants me to support her.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:56

So why does it seem so automatic at least here in America that a woman wants an epidural? Is it that the woman doesn't plan enough for the delivery, or is she subconsciously believing that it will be painful, which needs to be unlearned?


Posted: 30 Sep 19:56

I think there are several things that could contribute and actually turn into a spiral/circle:

Conscious preparation & culture: Part of it is about preparing and making conscious choices about how, where and with whom present you're going to give birth. To do that; you should allow yourself to talk about it, get informed, etc. That conscious process only starts with believing that giving birth can be different from what's shown in series like ER. Culture influences how we perceive birth and how it should be done. Most follow the lead of the majority and don't second guess it. Even repress thinking about it, because they fear the birth too much, based on the horror-stories of others. The fact that sexuality is still taboo to some extend in our culture will certainly not help women to open up about birth being pleasurable. Which brings me to:

-Expectations & fear: If you expect pain than that's what you'll feel. It's general psychology. Hold an icecold metal. Think of it as cold and painful and you will feel that. Think of it as warm and it will feel better. If you'd convince yourself the pain should be feared, it will also increase. If consciously imagining can do that, think of what deeply rooted expectations and fear will do to how you experience things.

-Support: in the US after a woman initially declines, she is again offered an epidural several times during her birth. Which may actually contribute to her believe she can't do it. From what I've learned so far; it is critical to express believe in the woman's capacities and support her. It is in fact scientifically proven that continuous (emotional) support helps to have shorter and easier births :)

-Hospital policies Another cause of women screaming for epidurals is the logical consequence of how hospitals in the US generally work. The woman is put flat on her back with all kinds of monitoring and an IV and is mostly not allowed to eat or drink. Making it impossible to move freely and uncomfortable for her. It slows down birth and makes it more painful. Once pitocin is used to stimulate it again, this will increase pain. It gives stronger contractions and it doesn't work the way natural oxytocine does. Naturally oxytocine is also produced within the brain, which provides for a hormonal chain reaction for pain-relieving effects. While Pitocin can not go through the brain/blood barrier. And the body naturally stops to produce oxytocin due to the high values in the blood. So the pain becomes more intense and a woman will ask for painkillers. It's actually sad: the Cochrane Library gives an overview of what actions are scientifically considered beneficial, not likely to be beneficial and harmful. Put the general strategies of hospitals next to it and it's to cry about :( yet these policies influence an entire culture of how birth is perceived.

Don't get this wrong; giving birth is hard work! Women go through phases of being highly alert, in pain, sleepy, in trance, ecstatic, anger, crying, etc. And almost every birth there is a moment the mom-to-be feels like she can't go on. Or even feels so overwhelmed and out of her own body, she feels like she is about to die. But the natural mechanisms that are working here also make it possible to be pleasurable and transcendent.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:57

Big, I honestly think that Americans in general want a quick easy fix. This is not American bashing...I'm american, but well...

Im a part of the "we want this, and we want it NOW!!!" generation and mentality. (Sad, isn't it?)

To sum up, it's easier to endure an epidural than an unknown length of time in labor.

However, I personally want a sensual experience with labor. Tha'ts just me...I don't care how creepy people make it sound...


Posted: 30 Sep 19:57

I think it genuinely depends on the person big. I mean out of the 10 or so new mothers I've known, 3 have had C sections due to a small pelvic structure, 6 had incredible pain, and 1 said it was painful but she didn't really care as much. It wasn't this horrible screaming "OMG I'M BEING RIPPED IN HALF" ordeal that the other mothers made it out to be.

Now the funny thing was the 6 moms who "suffered" all wanted natural, non drug assisted births. The one who didn't experience pain said that she had been terrified at how bad it hurt, yet never experienced enough pain to ask for assistance.

Now she either psyched herself out and was expecting so much pain that she was "let down" or she just was "lucky".


Posted: 30 Sep 19:57

CPD is a very rare disorder. It could well be that your 3 friends did actually need C-sections due to small pelvis. It could also be her body got "blamed", instead of focusing on the care for her. Read The Truth About Cephalopelvic Disproportion (CPD)

I consider myself privileged to have grown up in a society in which childbirth is considered a very powerful and beautiful thing. The pain being something women are naturally able to handle. The step to the possibility of "orgasmic birth" isn't as large as within society's in which medicalized birth is standard.

I would advocate to keeping birth as less medical as possible, when there is no risk indicated prior and no complications arise during off course. Yet: more than "natural" birth, I value that a woman should have the freedom to choose how, where and with whom to give birth.

Which means if she wants to birth at home, in water, on all fours, squatting, have her husband/their children/the family present, have the lights dimmed, etc, that should be arranged. It also means that if she feels most safe at a hospital and wants at least the opportunity to ask for drugs, such should be available. It was only last year that Dutch hospitals became required to have an anesthetist present 24/7 at the birth department. Before; you were having a difficult birth at night; that was just bad luck. Cause no anesthetist was going to get paged or called out of bed, unless a c-section had to be performed. And it was also emphasized to doctors that if a woman asks for it, her wish should not be ignored. I'm glad that's changed. I'm not so happy of making medical interventions the standard to which every mom-to-be is submitted. Such as constant monitoring, when intermittent monitoring has proved itself more effective and less stressful.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:58

The three girls are all between 4'11 and 5'1 and incredibly petite.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:58