While S&M might not be for everyone I would recommend that everyone at least try a little at least once in your life. At my house we do S&M about every 2 months or so. A similar kink, often confused with S&M is B&D(Bondage and Discipline). When you get past the chains and rope and other restraints, which make sex pretty darn exciting, B&D lends itself to lots of role playing of the boss-employee, student-teacher, master-slave sort. The discipline usually includes corporal "punishment". When we skip straight to the caning, spanking, whipping, etc. just because that one particular thing is what turns us on I consider that more the realm of B&D. There are plenty other ways to combine pain and sex.
Many people get the mistaken idea that S&M is about domination and submission; a practice based on control or something enigmatic called "power exchange." These people will often tell you that S&M is not even about sex. A major problem with this particular approach to S&M is that people get locked into the role of dominant or submissive and allow it to influence their lives adversley: thinking that because they are "dominant" or "submissive" there are certain things that they are not allowed to do or to enjoy. My personal advice is to try both sides and if you decide that you prefer being a submissive go for it. Just don't shortchange yourself.
As someone else already stated- sex is not about control. I would go so far to say that sex is about losong control. Of course if you are inflicting pain on someone during foreplay or coitus you want have have to exercise some self control so you don't actually injure your partner!
in recent years the inclusion of B&D and S&M practices in our sexlife has improved our sex life and married life in general. I say go for it.
Here is a link to a massive sex ed site which has quite a bit of info by real life S&Mers, as opposed to online S&Mers who in my opinion should not be allowed to opine.
Posted: 04 Oct 02:30