Dr Drew is an MD who specializes in addiction (though I'm not sure how much he practices outside reality tv ;)). He's become a media-personality through several tv and radio-shows, particularly considering relationships. I've seen him as host on tv-shows Sex Rehab, 16&pregnant and Teen Mom. He seems pretty grounded and relaxed and able to lead a good discussion, particularly on subjects that would make other people uncomfortable. So I'm pretty surprised about the way he handles himself here. I'm thinking personal ties may play it's part. Perhaps bringing his wife to this panel wasn't the best idea :rolleyes:
That said, I don't know the books. I do know there's a fine line between manipulating a person into doing what pleases you for your own gain, glossed over by the reasoning the other doesn't know what (s)he wants/likes and needs to be educated and even rescued by you. Or inspiring, stimulating and empowering another person into exploring, discovering, doing and becoming what (s)he wants/likes, while both taking joy and pleasure in the process.
I must say that in media too often (young) women are depicted as the former; naive, passive, willing "victims". The media are like a mirror of society. And though mirrors don't work 1 on 1 with whatever they depict -as left becomes right, parts of us are out of range of vision and things we otherwise wouldn't have seen are overemphasized- when we look into it we do get some sort of confirmation about who we are. Meaning that doesn't predict much good about the self-image of (young) women and the image men (are taught to) have of us.
So to me; the question is not whether consensual kinky sex among adults or the description of it in erotica is wrong or right (whatever floats your boat! :)) What is interesting is the question whether these books depict a situation in which it is freely consented to or whether the character has picked himself an easy victim to manipulate for his own pleasure. And possibly: whether she needs to be victim in order to not feel guilty so she can have pleasure, which is a classic storyline used in erotica. Like a twisted perpetuum mobile that keeps the guilt and shame about sex going. Last but certainly not least: the question is whether women who enjoy reading this, identify with a need to being victimized and manipulated in order to enjoy sex. Giving us a mirror to sexual attitudes. Or that the stories should be more regarded as the enjoyment of the safe scare or thrill (like rollercoasters can thrill us, same can do fiction/fantasies- thriller didn't become a word for nothing :rolleyes:). I can't answer these questions, certainly not regarding these books...
RedRoses
Posted: 04 Oct 23:37
