Make up sex, how do you deal with it?
Hope your reading this Milo!
Do you do everything sexual you know him or her likes? Is there talking and compromising? Is the sex more love making then F-ing?
A few months ago my bf and I had a serious argument where we stopped talking for a week, then when we did talk there were related remarks and me saying get over it...
It was After enjoying good sex, even giving him oral which iwas like the second time. After he said he loved me. I don't use the L word, been In love and heart break, so I replied "than you, me too" then said something to the effect so we better get some sleep, turning my back to him hoping he would spoon as usual. It turned into a hour long argument, he was pissed thing I didn't love him so he went home.
A week later I explained my situation with my first bf who I really loved to no end. Not telling him this part but my first bf was the only guy I let cum in my mouth. We would share oral often, no anal sex but I would finger his butt during a bj, driving him crazy. I'm definitely not into anal play, but for him I would. We had been together since HS and he was my heart, intellectually and sexually, my one and only. After a hard break up, I just can't say I love a guy.
Weeks later we attempted to make up, mostly because he was horny I think, so was I, he's kinda good in bed lol. I care for him a lot. So when he suggested a sit down, I was dressed sexy, really short skirt, skimpy tank top without a bra. Hair loose like he likes it, it's mid back and thick. After some talking, I moved close, rubbing his thigh high up, he wears boxers so you know. I unzipped him saying it's been a long time, how would he like a nice long BJ? We were I my bedroom, I live with my parents. I hardly ever give a him a BJ, past 3 ex's never got a BJ. Priot to that only my first bf as I said. So,this was special for me. So,I unzipped him, pulling his jeans to his knees and started, and I'm good at it I should add. Into it now he's squirming, I Stop to pull his jeans off and he helped take me undress to my pantie, then back on it. Sooo sensual he could feel,my tits on his legs and he played with them... Would You believe he said in the heat of passion as I used my hand that he loved me, "omg baby I love you " he said, me thinking he's just saying it. He came a lot in my hand, and we made out getting him hard again and I got on top and he said it again as I was riding him, asking me if I loved him. I stopped and got off saying can't you let that go. A new argument ensued and we haven't really made up yet. We talked and we went out last night. Me showing lots of cleavage in a really tight short dress. but I said good night at the door without letting him kiss me.
So what's next? I like him a lot, but it's not love. I doubt I'll give him a BJ anytime soon if ever.
Replies:
Make up sex implies that you're making up to someone of value that you want to hold on to beyond the sex. I appreciate your candor, but it seems you keep getting guys who's only value may be just "for sex"? Never in the heat of passion should the questions of love be suggested or imposed, as they are blurred by a completely different mindset during sex. I only make love with the one I'm in love with, this isn't to say that I don't show the same respect for or not equally value the one I'm with having sex. I don't conflate or even equate love with lust, if a life long pursuit of sexual education has taught me anything it's how to separate love and lust.
I don't do "everything" my lover wants unless we've discussed it and I'm not into the handjob, just a blowjob, quickie and getting off dating. It thins the herd and doesn't leave me with many options outside the wife, but the average lover and I will be together for at least a few dates before making a decision to move forward. "I'm not here to be used or just use you" they'll be told and then if they want to pursue it further it almost always goes well. I like the pre pillow talk for likes, dislikes, wills, wants and needs, anything else just isn't worth the time it takes to give it value!