So he masturbates. Face it..THAT is NOT your problem.
The problem is you two are NOT effectively communicating with each other.
Your sex life is dead. He says because you're 'not participating' and yet when you initiate sex, he does not respond.
This seems to be more a case of UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS than anything else, on BOTH of their parts.
No, she isn't like the porno-girls. No one is. Porno-girls are FAKE, FAKE, FAKE.
Men are not machines "press a button and he's on". Men don't work that way.
So - get off the sofa, turn off the computer, turn the lights down low and kneel naked on the bed looking at each other. Begin mutual body worshipping - slowly. Erase all thoughts from your mind except "this man/woman will please you". Accept the feelings; explore one another slowly and caressingly; make noises but not words. Let go of any and all expectations - love the one you're with as they actually are. Segue to intercourse slowly - there's no rush, no one's keeping score and this isn't The Olympics.
Do this 9 times per week - by that I mean 3 times per session, three sessions per week.
Vary the routine but do NOT vary the erotic nature of the exercise.
The point being that you two have lost each other somewhere in the fog and now must once again find your way back to each other. Do it or break up.
Posted: 06 Oct 23:57