OP: Open Relationships

Yes & yes

EvilEvilKitten

Posted: 05 Oct 09:00

The authors of the old book "Open Marriage" (George and Nena O'Neil) are possibly the only self-help authors to have published another book refuting their own best seller.

Brandye

Posted: 05 Oct 09:00

A few years ago, my wife & I agreed on opening up our relationship. It kind of came out of nowhere when we started talking about being turned on if one of us messed around with someone else. We mostly talked about it through text message over the course of a year. Nothing ever came out of this arrangement, though. I never even came close to having an experience; I couldn't find anyone mutually interested. My wife had an opportunity with her ex-boyfriend from a few years back, and she even went to his house but when the opportunity presented itself, she felt far too guilty to actually do it. A few short months later, she completely lost interest in the topic and that was all she wrote.

In summary, my wife's guilt lead to this arrangement ending before it really started.

terrycart79

Posted: 05 Oct 09:00

I am in a semi open relationship and it is working for me.My partner and I are not married and like you,I have a higher sex drive than him.I am bi-sexual and have denied it for many years.I am finally in the position to explore this side of me whilst still having a male partner.I want my cake and to eat it too I suppose.My current partner 100% gives me his blessing to see women only.I must say that it spices up our sex life when I tell him what I get up to with my female fuck buddies.Men are out of bounds, and I do respect his views as he has been so accepting and understanding.He can see other women too if he wishes, but so far he has declined to play around.One hot sexy woman is enough for him, he constantly tells me.I think that should we ever marry,I may not see women any more as I do believe in monogamous relationships when very committed to each other.I could have gotten with a married couple recently, and although I would not have done anything with the husband (only watch them together, and let him watch his wife with me)I could not go against my partner's wishes not to be involved even indirectly with another man.I could lie and tell him that I was with another woman/women,b ut again I just can't bring myself to do that.

Aphrodite_66

Posted: 05 Oct 09:00

There are a couple of ol' saying truth be told:

"If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

"If a relationship is in trouble, sex is 90% of the reason,
If the relationship is OK, sex is 10% of the reason.

What you might want to consider is what is making Mama unhappy,
and! why she does not want to make love.

You get answers to these and if she is wanting the relationship to work,
the two of you can get back on track. Make an appointment to talk with
a marriage counselor separately, and when appropriate the two of you.

dancingdoc2

Posted: 05 Oct 09:00

Open relationships are possible and far more common than most might like to acknowledge but they are BEST when BOTH spouses are free to form outside relationships and go out hunting together. That way, there are no surprises.

EvilEvilKitten

Posted: 05 Oct 09:00

We're a college couple. We've been together for almost 18months and plan to get married once she's done with college. I left my 2nd college where we met due to problems with the college, she left the same college the following semester and is now nearer her home at a new college nearly 8hrs away from me. We've routinely discussed swinging and/or and opening relationship and have agreed that we're fine with one or both of us actually even dating on the side due to not only sexual but emotional needs that even with Skype cannot always be fulfilled. We've more or less agreed that any side dating would be same sex only since we're both Bi, and just talking about what we would/wouldn't allow has made us closer already even though neither of us have yet dated or had sex with anyone else.

SexBunnies

Posted: 05 Oct 09:00

Well I now have a boyfriend/girlfriend and two fuck buddies, one male and one female.I know I said in an earlier post that my man allows me to see other women but not men.However I came to the conclusion that as we are not married or living together that I have a right to see whomsoever I wish.My boyfriend and I live separate lives basically, only seeing each other once or twice a week.We live about 45 minutes away from each other and he hates to commute although I don't mind it if I have enough gas in the car to travel.But I have been giving him a fair bit of space lately as I have been busy with my girlfriend and other things as well.

My girlfriend is further away from me, about 90 minutes drive so twice as far than my boyfriend is from me.Again I don't mind the travel as I love to get in the car and drive.She is also legally blind so can't travel, as she is no longer able to drive.

My fuck buddies help me when I can't be with my main two lovers.My boyfriend is also going overseas in the next week or so to visit his dying sister, and my girlfriends husband is coming back from working overseas to see her for about a week.So whilst they are not available I will utilize my fuck buddies, as I have a very high sex drive and if it's on your plate then why not eat it.Again I have to travel long distances to see them, although my male fuck buddy will travel to see me.My female fuck buddy lives the furtherest away from me than my other lovers.

Right now I am very contented, with everything I ever wanted in life.I never dreamed of having four lovers, but I am capable of loving more than one person at the same time.I love my boyfriend and girlfriend, and have a little extra to give my fuck buddies.However I see them mainly for the sex only.It's a top up when my tank needs refueling or my bf/gf aren't available.

Open relationships work damn well for me, and I only wish I had of started something like that years ago during my marriage to my ex husband.

Aphrodite_66

Posted: 05 Oct 09:00

Uh! You have some arrangement Aphrodite
Wished I could have had the same then again when I was in a sexless marriage for four years but that was in an unusual circumstances. I had my urges but had to supress them time and time again.

kievan

Posted: 05 Oct 09:00

My wife and I of a couple years have a fairly open marriage and it keeps things hot for us. We aren't full out swingers, but on occassion we give each other free passes. For instance, we were at a bar together recently when she bumped into a guy she knew in high school and they were chatting for awhile. She told me he was in for the weekend visiting family. (granted high school was not too long ago for us, but they still hadn't seen each other in those 8 years. He asked her out for lunch, and she didn't return until later that night. The anticipation of what might have happened without either of us saying anything led to amazing sex of our own that night and days to follow.

speedballz

Posted: 05 Oct 09:01

My wife and I have been discussing this topic as of late. We've been married nearly 10 years, together for 12. The talk came on because I have an overdriven sex drive, and her a very small one.

We got married young, and had our first child when she was 22. She had dated some before we got together, but was still a virgin. So, I'm the only guy she's been with. Me, on the other hand, I was the proverbial "bad boy" that your parents told you to stay away from.

My wife is very open and experimental. She's usually game to try anything once, and more if she likes it. This has lead to some fun. However, she's never had a very active sex drive. She doesn't withhold it, but she doesn't exactly kick down the door.

A couple years ago, I was making a joke about my fetish for hot little goth chicks. She made the comment, jokingly I thought, about bringing one home. Nope, she was serious. She had a fantasy about seeing me with another woman, and thought it would be hot.

We always have had a very open communication, and are very honest. We know exactly what the other thinks and fantasizes about. It's made for some very interesting talks, that's for sure.

We turned the discussion to the possibility of swinging, and even started working down that path. Due to a few health issues we ran into, we pulled back. We also decided that may not be what we were looking for.

We went back to discussing the idea of a third, and both seem to agree it would be fun.

Now, here's where it gets interesting, and I can't decide if I should pursue this or not. The other day, she made the comment that she's comfortable enough in our relationship, she knows she can't meet all my needs. If I did have the opportunity to be with someone for a little NSA fun, to do it, as long as she knew and I covered up. It kind of floored me a bit, not sure why. This opened up a line of convo, and my side of it was that I would feel horrible if I did that, and she was able to counter every reason I had.

I love my wife to death. She's awesome, but we do have a huge divide in our sex drives.

Here's where my mind went with it, though.

1) I don't think I would be ok with her doing the same. Not that I don't want her to be happy, but my head tells me if she is with someone else, why does the drive go away for me? Her response is I'm more than enough, and she isn't looking. Not at all, and has no desire to. But, the thought of me with someone else drives her wild, so it boosts her desire levels.

2) To me, I'm having a hard time getting over old ideals. We don't have the typical relationship, and we are very happy together with what we have. It works well. This may work well, too.

Basically, she knows she doesn't fill my needs, but aside from a bit of sexual tension, it doesn't cause a problem in our relationship. However, she wants me to be as happy as possible, and I her.

So, the question remains, do I take the opportunity to find a few friends with benefits? She isn't pushing me to do it, just leaving the door open and saying it's ok, as long as the basic rules are kept. Cover thy self and tell her the details.

Oay vay! Every guys dream, and I'm second guessing. revoke my man card now.. lol

blownpasedu

Posted: 05 Oct 09:01

Dear Blown, if you can't wrap your head around her with being others, then you shouldn't go and 'play away' - fair being fair. Also, it is one thing to fantasize and to think that you'd be okay with your hubby having fun 'off the leash' and another thing entirely to actually have it occur. Yes, I would know, being one of those 'evil women' your mother warned you against.

And there's another small point of which you should be aware. The women willing to play with a married man (without his wife) aren't all that numerous even in the Lifestyle. You'd also be in competition with single and divorced/separated men as well as married men (with their wives). In fact, even within the Lifestyle, single men often feel constrained to find a regular play partner to bring along in place of a wife - otherwise he's at risk of being considered 'not sharing'.

Just a few things to think about.

EvilEvilKitten

Posted: 05 Oct 09:01

Try finding someone who is into poly relationships.You can have your cake and eat it too.I have several partners both male and female.My main man is happy to let me play with women but is not so keen for me to be with other men.But we are not engaged nor planning to marry any time soon, so I should be free to see whomsoever I wish.I only see my main male partner once or twice a week anyway and I have the higher sex drive and need multiple partners to satisfy my needs.

Aphrodite_66

Posted: 05 Oct 09:01