Today we were learning about the chemical Oxytocin that is released during sex to bond partners and is released to bond mother and child. Dr.s also prescribe it to couples going through a "rough patch" in their relationship. There are also other chemicals and hormones released during sex to bond people. I was just curious on how this works with swingers who are in LTR. My husband and I have been thinking about trying a threesome, no serious decisions yet, we are wanting to learn more about the swinger lifestyle and maybe go to some clubs to get more of a feel for it. I was just wondering how this bonding chemical affects the relationship of the swingers or if it does at? Does it bond a relationship between you and the third party?
epicsexy
Posted: 05 Oct 09:11
I'm an odd fan of oxytocin...
I would figure that it does. But I'm also thinking that oxytocin itself is release through any type of intimacy....mostly touch.
Why wouldn't it? It definitely makes the case for those is multi-relationships such as polygamy
sensualGoddess
Posted: 05 Oct 09:11
Not something to mess with
Oxytocin is easily related to various pleasant experiences. There is incomplete understanding of cause and effect and using the manufactured version may or may not have a suppressive effect on normal production. There are more unknowns than knowns about the long term effects. Not something to be played with without medical necessity and guidance. To do its work, it needs to be administered nasally or by injection.
Brandye
Posted: 05 Oct 09:11
Hmm... when you say you "learned" about oxcytocin, were you told that it permenantly bonds people after having sex? I know that's an idea going around in abstinence-based sex ed to try and scare kids into only having one partner.
I don't think it works like that, pair bonding is not just about getting a single chemical hit. It's about repeated exposure as well as shared life experiences and communication.
Single people don't get irreprably bound to one night stands, so I don't see why it would cause any problems for married people who also have casual partners.
llovell
Posted: 05 Oct 09:11
It seems to me the term bonding is often wrongfully used. Either it's used to describe romantic feelings. Or it's used for a monogamous relationship. Often in some sort of ever-lasting way. When what bonding means is socially connecting to another person on some level. This could go from like to love in all it's forms.
So; sure you may feel something for the person you have sex with, but that doesn't mean you'll instantly go head over heels. It could be as little as the friendly feelings you have for the delivery guy you chat with for 3 minutes every Monday morning. It could turn out to be the beginning of a very good friendship. Nothing wrong with that, is there?
I think people sometimes seem to get too anxious over feeling something. But if you wouldn't feel any social connection to another human being, then you would be at high risk of stripping him/her and yourself of all humanity and turning both of you into "things". Taking you to a place where also compassion has no significance. That's not a place to have sex. Not even a chit-chat.
Oxytocin is a very lovely hormone; it even encourages your body to heal faster! But be aware oxytocin is a hormone that's released on numerous pleasurable occasions. Most commonly it's induced by touch. But it's even as simple as eating something very good. Yes, I kid you not. Talking about a tiny orgasm in your mouth! :) Basically; every time when you get this warm, fuzzy, pleasurable feeling inside you, there's a good chance oxytocin is being released into your blood and brain.
If you'd like to read up on this, I highly recommend the book; "The Oxytocin Factor: Tapping the Hormone of Calm, Love and Healing" by Kerstin Uvnas Moberg. She herself is leading scientist in research and she writes in a delightful and very comprehensive way.
RedRoses
Posted: 05 Oct 09:11
These hormones are not "one shot deals". Think Evolution. Life was risky, what with everything else trying to eat you, so lust, romantic love and attachment co-exist in a continum making people capable of having more than one person 'in their sights' at any one time. This makes sense since we humans were living the communal life with multiple sex partners. (You never knew which person was going to get eaten next so you spread your affections around.) No one was a 'thing', RR - sex increased group cohesion and cooperation.
I believe I wrote an article about this earlier.
EvilEvilKitten
Posted: 05 Oct 09:12
I'm not sure where this went wrong exactly... My thing-comparison was actually meant to point out the same. I believe it goes against human nature to not (want to) bond. But in a culture where we all are supposed to pair up, we therefor take for fact that bonding can only happen with one person. And therefor it becomes a menace when we could possible feel "something" for another and we consider that particularly a threat when there's sex involved. Why would we? When feeling something only means we still view the other as human. Why is it that scary? While we bond with people every day in many ways! And while we are, as you rightfully point out, hard-wired to want to do so.
RedRoses
Posted: 05 Oct 09:12
No oxy is not a superglue for relationships. It will create a bond with any individual but it may encourage you to "do that again."
Artificial hormones are not recreational drugs. If you have no medical need, stay away from them.
Brandye
Posted: 05 Oct 09:13
I'm confused; was the question about artificial oxytocin?
If that's the case; we can all kiss those benefits we've been talking about goodbye! :( Research suggests that when artificial oxytocin is injected, it does not pass the blood-brain-barrier and therefor those great reactions in the brain won't happen. And why anyone would risk nausea, crampings, headaches, dizziness, fainting, cardiac dysrhythmia and even a heartattack for recreational reasons goes beyond my understanding...
So; no drugs. Let's get high on nature! :)
RedRoses
Posted: 05 Oct 09:13
Get high on sex!!! Yes!!
If you're insecure, then you care deeply about pair-bonding. If you aren't, then you don't. The menace comes when one partner is insecure and the other partner is not. That's when it gets 'messy'.
EvilEvilKitten
Posted: 05 Oct 09:13
