I'm on the pill, but BF still insists on condoms...
How do I get my guy to not use a condom? I've been with him for 9 months and we've been having sex for the last 6 and we are exclusive to one another. He had a pregnancy scare with an ex (who I personally believe she did it on purpose). I have been on the pill for 5 years straight meaning I never have a period there for I don't go through the normal cycle of ovulation. We are both clean and have the results of each others STD test. Mine as recently as 2 weeks ago. He is currently going through a custody fight which I know makes it even worse for him. But I personally love the feeling of sex without a condom and the orgasm for me when he come inside of me is that much more intense which I miss. So how do I get him to lose the condom every once in a while.
humansexdoll
Replies:
You do not. You respect his respect for both you and himself. Given what is written, I would not trust you: "... meaning I never have a period ....." Just what kind of pill are you on?
Brandye
Dear HSD,
In my opinion what you need in order to lose condoms is (in any order but all prior to losing):
1) be sexually exclusive: consciously decide on it as a couple
2) do an HIV/STD-check-up: you both come back clean. not; have it cleaned up, if it can be. if it can't be; sorry, but there goes the deal.
3) chose birthcontrol: decide together what is the most suitable way for both, don't forget the what-if you do get pregnant and what the odds are.
Seems like you've checked 1 and 2, true?
So we're on 3. First of all; I'm wondering about the same as Brandye does. And second; you need to chose your method of birthcontrol that fits you best as a couple. Clearly; losing the condoms is not for him. You can't make him do anything he doesn't want to. And he has to stand by that decission, not one moment he does agree and another he doesn't. What you can do is initiate communication; ask him of his fears, inform him about your birthcontrol, provide him with accurate information on actual risks, make sure he understand how you make sure to use your BC appropriately, etc. Ask him if he has alternatives for you, make lists of pro's and cons, etc. In conclusion; you could end up with the same as you are now, it could also bring new perspectives. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship.
But; this takes attention and energy. Both you need, since you're talking something so important. Since you mention his mind is much occupied at the moment with a very serious matter, it may not be the time to have him think over this. As we say it in Dutch; all the info will go in one ear and fly through his head dropping out at the other ear :) And in a bad case; you'll irritate him; that is certainly not a good approach to get things your way and could easily backfire.
Unlike EEK and Brandye, I'd say you have done nothing disrespecting to yourself or him by asking him to not use a condom. The only potentially disrespecting would be how you refer to "making him", of this unlucky choice of words I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt :)
RedRoses
if he wants condom its may because
1. he is turned on by condoms. dont understand that but takes all sorts
2. he is shagging around bareback and dare not give your a dose.
3. he has a sexually acquired infection.
4 he doesnt trust your birth control. Read up on the risks with different methods and how to mitigate them. Remember, no birth control is 100%. especially if you dont use it properly - are you the type to forget to take the pill, for instance?