I've always been fairly active sexually...but have been celibate for almost two months now. Is this healthy? Or should I be cleaning the plumbing every now and then?
I've been abstaining from all sex - masturbation included. I'm in my 40's...very fit, active, and healthy. I'm dating a guy that I like very, very much. (Yeah, I'm a guy too..yup. I play for the other team).
I met the guy I'm seeing via an online hookup late last year. We were sexually involved at first...and it was great sex. When we quickly discovered a connection that went beyond sex, we talked about it, and opted to start dating. This created a new dynamic...the need and desire on my part to find out who this guy really is..and I opted to re-prioritize sex in my life in order to give myself time to know this man better. I'm enjoying befriending him, cultivating his companionship, and learning more about who he is, what he values, and what direction he's heading in life, his strengths, his vulnerabilities...and much more.
Taking sex "off the table" :D seems to allow me to put more focus on romance, and to bring more depth to spiritual and emotional bonding and sharing. And its really not been difficult for me to bypass sex at this stage. I'm really into this guy for all of who he is.
So I'm kind of amazed that this is happening...and since I'm normally a horndog, not at all used to abstinance.
Like I said, should I be a bit more attentive to my bod...polish the bishop now and again...and backflush my swimmers to keep all systems check?
I may be in this mode for a few more months....depends on where our hearts take us.
thanks
Hommerun 10/18/2007
Posted: 23 Sep 06:38
I believe you can get along quite well abstaining unless stress and sexual tension drive you to seek relief. If your pipes need flushing your body will produce a nocturnal emission as needed.
I can see abstaining from sexual activity with a partner, and am interested in learning what you believe will be gained by not masturbating.
dancingdoc2
Posted: 23 Sep 06:38
Doc...thanks for the info! My dreams have been fairly erotic off an on during this time...but I can't actually remember the last time I had an honest to goodness wet dream. That would be kind of cool.
And your follow-up question is a good one: Why no masturbation? I guess I'm making a clean break of it...trying something different. Putting sex totally on the shelf, to make spirituality and emotional growth a priority. I've never been really that satisfied with masturbation anyway. Maybe some baggage there. Your question definitely gave me a start...and it is something I can toss around (no pun intended!) in my mind and see if it leads anywhere.
Hommerun
Posted: 23 Sep 06:39
Interesting switch of stereotypes here. It is the guy, hommerun, who is expressing benefit from brief celibacy and the woman, sera, who suggest getting a little on the side!
Just an observation. I have, at different times, done each of these.
Brandye
Posted: 23 Sep 06:39
Stereotypes! Such an issue; see women DO like sex just as much if not more then men...LOL!
sera300
Posted: 23 Sep 06:39
Hi Sera. I spent the last 3 years trying on single life again (after the end of a 10 year relationship). I quickly determined that I wasn't satisfied with quick hookups via the internet. But I did meet a few guys that became FWB's (or FB's to some) in the process. Worked for all parties involved. However, when one of us started dating...the sex stopped. Its hard for me at this age and stage to have a sexual relationship a guy ongoing and not develop some degree of emotional involvement - i.e. becoming friends And once that happens, it makes it more difficult to sustain the sex part of the relationship. I think I'm tapped into my new guy pretty heavily emotionally so an FWB feels to me, like it might undermine my ability to bond with him. Just my ramblings...and thanks for bringing the idea to the table. It is another good subject for thought.
Hommerun
Posted: 23 Sep 06:40
I found you can develop an emotional attachment to one and have a FWB with another...therefore the need for sex is met w/the FWB & you stilll have a friend. By doing this, your need for sex is not the cause of the emotional attachment to the one you are seeking a relationship with--this allows for a more objective analysis of the person overall rather then a hormone rampage driven beginning. Good luck!
sera300
Posted: 23 Sep 06:40
Hommerun,
Please take this suggestion in the manner in which it is intended. It is not ethical to diagnose over the phone or internet; and, since I am not an M.D., I am not going to make this recommendation under the guise of "practicing without a license", either. With his disclaimer in mind, and in my never to be so humble opinion--I believe you should go to your local video store and rent the movie "40 Days and 40 Nights," starring Josh Hartnett. It is a cute movie. Check it out before leaving for the store:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/40_Days_and_40_Nights
I think you will enjoy the movie (as you squirm in your chair! :D ).
dancingdoc2
Posted: 23 Sep 06:41
I admire your restraint, and will be curious how long you can hold out. Maybe I'm just weak willed, but honestly after a week my mind starts to obsess on sex to the point of distraction. If I can't have sex with someone else masturbation will at least take the edge off and let me get on to other things. I will say you should have a hell of an orgasm when you go back to it!
DVDBear
Posted: 23 Sep 06:41
