When it comes to managing one's feelings about an age difference, perception is everything. Maybe she's predicting the future of your relationship, concerned that you'll have incompatibilities because of your age difference. She might never have had exposure to couples with a big age difference, especially when the older partner was a woman. If she desires to have children, she may not want to put pressure on you to have kids before you're ready. Perhaps she is sensitive to any reminder of her getting older, which is an issue that has less to do with your relationship and more to do with a lack of acceptance of her chronological age. It could also be that she's afraid of growing older sooner than her partner, and what the effect could be on the relationship.

Many people maintain staunch, pre-conceived notions about age. This might cause her to worry about what people think of her dating someone ten years her junior. Historically, the norm has been older men pairing up with younger women. Although it is becoming increasingly more common for women to date younger men, a study published by the Journal of Couple and Relationship Therapy noted that the general public is still slow to accept it. Much of people's disregard is directed at the female in this situation, likely because she's challenging more of the deeply rooted definitions (and expectations) of age. All perception aside, is age disparity an actual cause of relationship problems?

Individual differences will ALWAYS exist in a couple, even if they are ten days apart in age! Having an age gap in a relationship can bring along some unusual situations, but for the most part, couples with an age difference are like everybody else, and all face all the same problems over money, sex, stress, etc. Age may gives clues as to what stage a person is at in their personal and emotional development, but it's not the only measure of good rapport. Ultimately, a successful relationship boils down to what the two of you have in common, and whether you're capable of good communication and compromise. Compatibility and chemistry are also key. If you're willing to work together through difficulty, the rewards can be amazing!

Ultimately, times are changing and the adage, love knows no age, will one day know no bounds. There is only so much you can do to make her feel comfortable with your relationship so she needs to decide whether she wants to make herself happy or fit in with what she thinks is the norm. She can't change her age, but she can her mind.

Posted: 17 Aug 19:54