I feel extremely awful. I have done something terrible against my religion and who I want to be. I watched something awful. I did not like it but I just watched it anyway. I watched some transsexual porn and some transsexual on a web cam. I feel so disgusted by it. I wish I have never done it. I don't know if I am straight, gay, or bi. I want to be straight. I have thought about girls and still do. However I am still bothered by my actions. It is killing me inside. I don't know what to think of myself anymore.
I watched gay porn that featured two guys in it many years ago. I was disgusted by it and never watched that type of porn again.
When I watch straight porn I never notice the guys in a sexual way. I say well here is this certain guy in a scene again but nothing sexual about it. I see the women sexually. I have never thought about being with a man.
When I watched the transsexual porn I was not attracted to the guys. When I saw the transsexuals I did not see anything particular I liked. I did not like their faces, legs, asses, etc. I have watched this type of porn more than once. I have jacked off to it. I did not like it and I would never have sex with a man nor a transsexual.
When I watch straight porn I think I am the guy who is fucking the chicks. When I watch transsexual porn I don't see myself as the guy in the film. I can't picture myself sucking a penis. The thought of it turns me off. I don't want to be fucked in the ass. I don't have any fantasies for men nor transsexuals.
I watch sports a lot and play sports with my friends. I never have been turn on by men when watching sports. I watch pro wrestling a lot. Most of the wrestlers are half naked but it does not turn me on.
What is happening to me? I am gay, bi, or just lost and confused. Could I being doing this because of a porn addiction?
RATED-RKOFRANKLIN
Posted: 30 Sep 07:23