OP: BF is sending dick pics to random girls online??

ok i have a question for both girls and guys. me and my b/f that i have been living w/ for almost 2 yrs have a great sex life he tells me everyday how much he loves me and how much i turn him on etc. here lately i discovered some pics on the computer and they weren't just porn pics and videos from websites those dont really bother me these were from a girl he was talking to online. she had sent him some pics of herself topless and bottomless..etc. i also know that he had made some naughty pics of himself and emailed them to me once, we do that just to play around and tease each, but that he had mailed her these pics too. i confronted him about it and he said he no longer talked to her and that he would delete her pics which he did. ive been doing some snooping and he's not talking to her anymore but he still is sending his penis pics to random girls online. he'll sometimes send them out b4 he sends his normal pics out or even b4 the girls send him naughty pics. i just want to know why he feels the need to do this? i mean do guys not feel sharing such intimate pics is wrong esp when u have a girlfriend. i would never think of letting anyone see any of my naked pics. if i make him so happy why does he feel the need to share such private stuff w/ other girls he doesn't know, and is it likely he's cybering w/ these girls?
me and my b/f first met on the internet and we cybered and had phone sex b4 we met so the idea of it is nothing new to either of us but since i moved in w/ him and committed myself to him i no longer feel the need to cyber w/ anyone else. i gave that up. i dont really know what exactly my question is i just need some insite on this. should i feel jealous, threatened, worried? or is this just all part of a males healthy sex life? please help?
he's mentioned many times b4 that his past girlfriends cheated on him and that is something that he doesn't tolerate at all so i never thought that id have to worry about that esp from his side of the relationship.
i would confront him more about stuff but technically im really snooping where i dont belong and him knowing this would probaly just make things worse

demonbuttercup

Posted: 30 Sep 22:58

Replies:

"I just want to know why he feels the need to do this?"
The only way you will truly know the answer to this quetion is to ask him. Neither you nor the people in this community can truely tell you what he is thinking or what he feels. Ask him. Maybe start by saying what you feel and then explain that you would like to better understand what he is feeling and why he is doing this.

"i mean do guys not feel sharing such intimate pics is wrong esp when u have a girlfriend."
I am a girl and I don't feel there is anything wrong with this other than the fact that it is hurting you. I am married and my husband and I occasionally exchange naked pictures with others. When we were in CanCun, Mexico last year we even took naked pictures with a neighbor in our hotel, a stranger who was taking naked pictures next door.

"if i make him so happy why does he feel the need to share such private stuff w/ other girls he doesn't know"
No one can get all their needs met by one person. It would not be fair to you or to him if you tried or expected to meet all his needs. This is one of the big reasons relationships fail, this unrealistic expectation that one "other" can meet all of anothers needs. I noticed you started this stament with IF, maybe you need to talk with him about whether or not you are meeting his needs and IF there is anything that either of you can do to better meet both of your needs.

"i gave that up. i dont really know what exactly my question is i just need some insite on this. should i feel jealous, threatened, worried? or is this just all part of a males healthy sex life? please help?"
Feelings are very personal. No one here can tell you what you should feel. Instead I would encourage you to discover and work through what you do feel. It sounds like this situation hurts you at least a little and that maybe you are even a little angry. It also sounds like because you "gave that up" you just expected that he would also. Again you are falling into the relationship myth of believing that someone will
automatically change because of they are now in a relationship with you.

"he's mentioned many times b4 that his past girlfriends cheated on him and that is something that he doesn't tolerate at all so i never thought that id have to worry about that esp from his side of the relationship."
It sounds like you feel that he is cheating on you. Maybe he does not thing that he is cheating on you and is unaware that you consider this cheating.

"i would confront him more about stuff but technically im really snooping where i dont belong and him knowing this would probaly just make things worse"
If you don't talk to him the situation will get worse anyway because of the negative feeling you are already having. I would suggest starting the conversation by admitting that you were wrong for snooping but that you would like to talk about this anyway because it is [hurting/angering/suprizing whatever word goes best] you.

I think you need to admit to yourself how you feel and then talk to him about it. Focus on what you feel as opposed to what he did wrong so that he won't feel like he is being attacked.

sexyone

Posted: 30 Sep 22:58


thanks sexyone
you really had a lot to say about the subject i appreciate the time you took to type all that out
we've talked about it several times and he apologizes and realizes how that it hurts my feelings. like last time when we discussed the one chick he was getting pics from he said he felt sick to his stomach... he claims it was from how bad he felt from hurting me...i think he was just busted! lol...
i dunno maybe im just making too big a deal out of nothing
you mention that we its hard for us to be able to fulfill completely the needs of others. i agree somewhat but then i think there is also a line you shouldn't cross. i dunno.
like i said i appreciate ur input thanx a lot.

demonbuttercup

Posted: 30 Sep 22:59


Some people would consider this a form of cheating, while some would be totally okay with it. Different couples have different bounderies for what qualifies as cheating, but it is important that both partners understand those boundaries--and that they agree on them. While not every girlfriend would object to his behavior, it is not unreasonable for you to request that he stop. If he continues to send and receive these pictures--especially if it is behind your back--then you have every right to feel betrayed.

girlygirl

Posted: 30 Sep 22:59


I have ran into a lot of lonely people widows and such on the net, that enjoy cybering its the only way they feel they can have sex problay masterbating while you tell them what they want to hear, and imagine it being real,if it makes them happy why not life is short, always glad to help them,to see thank you on a pm,know they enjoyed it

cunnuslover

Posted: 30 Sep 22:59


i see what ur saying cunnuslover but the girls my b/f was talking to weren't lonely widows.. they were young girls my age, just looking for fun.
well since i first made that post... me and my b/f had a talk. he found out i was snooping...lol... and he confessed to sending out naked pics of himself.. he never mentioned if he cybered w/ them or not.. i didn't ask.. anyways.. we both decided we were gonna put all that bullshit behind us and move on... we love eachother very much. we both made a promise to behave..so hopefully he'll stick w/ it. i plan on keeping my end of the bargain.. thanx everyone for ur opinions

demonbuttercup

Posted: 30 Sep 22:59


I am wierded out by some of you saying that it is ok for him to do this or referring it that way to some degree... i don't wanna pick direct quotes.
"i agree it would be the same principle. i mean just b/c its over the computer and not in real life doesn't mean its totally harmless."WRONG!!! It is harmful to you self esteem and self worth!!!! Don't think that shit don't get on his side aren't you angry and hurt? And mostly don't be afraid to ask you have as much need to know out of anyone in this world of the stuff he is doing.. you are in a relationship and honesty is the key.. just be strong and i know you are strong enough... you had a reason to be snooping! You felt hurt and betrayed and it's not like you snoop all the time over usless things constantly... like you don't look in his phone.. or read his diary... or check his mail ever since you guys met.. YOU HAD A REASON!!! DON'T BE AFRAID TO FIND OUT IF HE IS HURTING YOU!
But girl... it bothers you and you should tell him to stop whatever he is doing right now! Stand up for yourself... if he feels you are not completely satisfiying him then you needa get rid of his ass cuz you are better than that! If yuo guys have been going out for a long time and to the point of where most people were to be married right now i think he should give you the password of his sn's just so you have the confidence withtin yourself that he is indeed not doing this stuff. If he is innocent then he has nothing to hide. You feel really hurt and i know but the truth will come out sooner or later... and i hope that the worse isn't true:) Take care hun and remember you are worthy and he shouldn't be doing this to you if he is indeed doing it... i have read and you have responded to a lot of my posts from previous names and this one and i know you are smart than that

frusttnagr

Posted: 30 Sep 23:00


demonbuttercup, guido, and cunnuslover:

men should not have any excuse to do this. although it is his own personal business i would be hurt if i found out my bf had done this. (although i dont have one). i dont understand how men can get away with a lot of things women cant. if a woman sleeps around she is called a slut or a whore. and when a man sleeps around he is called a "stud", he is totally cool. i dont understand this because men should not be encouraged to do such things. i understand that he understands that it hurts u but i think that it would have been more appropriate for him to ask b4 he did this. it is NOT just a man's nature to do this, doesnt he being the gender he is also think about things before they do them? it is not an instinct!
i am not dissing ur bf demonbuttercup i am just confronting the people that said that this is totally normal.

thanks for listening.....

girl12

Posted: 30 Sep 23:00


With the advent of digital cameras and web cams, i'm surprised this topic hasn't been on the top of the list for a long time!

I LOVE sending and posting my pics - G, R and X rated! I also love receiving pics from people ONLINE that i'm attracted to. It's cheaper than going to pay porn sites and i like the "amateur" look and feel of it. My partner and I have lots of pics of ourselves and we freely exchange them as we see fit. Since we take care of our bodies and like the way we look naked, if someone wants to see what I look like naked and aroused, and i WANT them to have my pic, i send it!

We even have a webcam and it's not uncommon for use to enjoy webcam exhibitionism/voyeurism online. Why? VISUAL VARIETY! It's like watching a porno movie, but it's live! Just pure, hedonistic visual excitement!

Like anything else, this kind of exchange, if not kept in balance can cause problems in ANY relationship! But, like i said in another post, my partner and i both agree that NO cock, ass, mouth, etc is worth risking our love, trust and relatioship we've built over the past 7 years.

I agree with one of the other responses, in saying guys think about sex all the time - even if they have a willing sexual partner. There's something in our DNA that always draws us to look for a new conquest sexually - how we ACT on that is the key!

If he's just chatting and sending pics or talkin dirty....i'd not worry...i WOULD however reinforce with him the importance of never PERSOANLLY calling or meeting anyone from online. Once you break that seal, it's a slippery slope to potential cheating!

Rawbob

Posted: 30 Sep 23:01


I was in this same situation not to long ago. I was the guilty party in it too. See i had met a girl online and was talking to her for over a year. Well one day this girl decides to send me a text message on my cell phone and the girl i've been with (for nearly 4 years) decided to snoop through my phone and find this message. To her, she thinks that if i so much as talk to or mention another girls name...then im cheating on her. I felt bad for doing it in the long run, but then again i didn't. If that makes any sense. I read somewhere else on these boards that you can't get all your needs or expectations filled by just one person. That is true, and that's exactly what was motivating me to talk to other girls. It's like after so long, it's hard to constantly feel the love and passion that i did for her early on in our relationship.

PennywiseEvilClown

Posted: 30 Sep 23:01


Just stumbled upon this thread and wanted to share my thoughts. It can be tough when trust is tested in a relationship, especially with intimate pictures involved. Personally, I've learned that open communication is key. It's important to have an honest conversation with your partner about boundaries and expectations. As for exploring fantasies or seeking attention from others, well, it's a complex topic. We all have different needs and desires, but it's crucial to respect the boundaries set within the relationship. By the way, speaking of exploring, I recently came across Ehocams (https://ehocams.com), a live sex cams website that might offer an alternative outlet for your desires. Just remember healthy relationships are built on trust and mutual understanding.

Posted: 17 May 11:59





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