Threesomes are a popular activity with both men and women, and depending on how you arrange a ‘configuration’ that suits both of your comfort levels, it can be an exciting and highly stimulating experience. However, there are a lot of ‘what-ifs’ to consider in this situation, such as: “am I ready”; “is the way I view my relationship going to change afterward”; or, “am I doing this because I feel pressured”. Keep in mind too that multi partner sex can be trickier when you’re in a new relationship because jealousy and trust issues can more easily rear their ugly heads.
As much as you’d like to accommodate your boyfriend’s fantasy, it sounds like you’re not very comfortable with the idea. Participating in a sexual activity that you aren’t fully on board with can be disastrous for your self-esteem, create havoc in intimate relationships, and discourage you from exploring other fantasies in the future. We strongly encourage you to weigh the pros and cons before going ahead with any plans for this form of sexual play.
Keep in mind that just because you aren’t wholly comfortable with your boyfriend’s idea for a threesome fantasy now, doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be taken off the table completely. You could very well be the one to enjoy it in the future, but need more time to become comfortable with yourself and gain more security in your relationship before it’s a realistic option. If a threesome is something you’d be willing to try, save it for when it’s about doing it with your boyfriend, not for him.
Also, is your problem with this scenario just the fact that the ‘third’ under consideration is another female? How about if it involved another guy instead – or perhaps a foursome (Group Sex)? If this is of more interest to you, discuss these options with your boyfriend and see how he feels about it. Be wary of his motives/selfishness if he is not prepared to consider these alternatives – after all, ‘What is good for the goose, is good for the gander!’
Posted: 17 Aug 20:03
