OP: get over a rough patch after last pregnancy...

I been married for 3yrs + and the hubby and I are trying to get over a rough patch we had during my last pregnancy, so we are trying to spice things up in the bedroom as well, I have always been a lil bit of a sourpatch I would just lay there and let him do his thing, but now I do more things for wich I also enjoy a lot (never would've thought) he wanted me to deep throat which I'm slowly trying to accomplish but he also asked me several times to let him do anal, but I am super scared I'm not sure its something I wanna try, but I also don't know if maybe its something I might enjoy, so heeeelp please!


Posted: 05 Oct 09:05


Just an easy way to see if the stimulation is worthwhile or not. There's plenty of information scattered thick all over this site, but for a "quick test" have him roll a condom over a finger, lube it up, and gently take his time penetrating your anus. You'll quickly know if you even like it or not. If you do, great! You have no obligation to do anything more, but if you want follow all te advice found here.

Plenty of people (yes straight males as well) enjoy this kind of simple activity. Just relax and enjoy, and be careful!


Posted: 05 Oct 09:05

by just caressing or massaging the outside of the anus. No penetration at all. Just discovering those sensations and see if you enjoy it.

By that I don't mean "stampeding" towards the anus either. But gradually and slowly after all the petting, necking, foreplay, even lovemaking, etc that you'd usually do, so that you're completely relaxed and feel in tune with your partner. Then; slowly move your focus. This could be done by him massaging your back, the back of your legs, the buttocks, etc. Once arrived at the anus; start with light touches. He can use his fingers, but also his tongue (rimming) or even his penis. Increasing touch whenever you want. Because the body can tell you "more", but once it's been treated too harshly it's almost impossible to feel softer touch, let alone enjoy it.

You can combine things too. It's up to you to say whether you'd like the touch to be focused on the anal area or not. The anus is packed with nerve-ending, about as much as a clitoris! Anal pleasure can therefor feel very intense. Even so intense that there shouldn't be any other distraction. Whereas other people find that other stimulation, often clitoral, should be combined with anal stimulation.

As an example; when I started experimenting with anal sex my lover would at first caress my anus with one of his fingers while we were having vaginal sex. That was actually too much to feel for me at first; I felt overwhelmed by sensations! Best "starter" to me was laying in a spooning-position, while he put his erect penis in between my buttocks and just very lightly rub against my anus (not penetrating anything). Adding soft smoochy kisses on my neck and ears and caressing me with his hands. This does take some trust; he must be aware that it's not an invitation to penetrate.

In fact; he should be aware it could take a long time before you take anal sex that far. Perhaps you never will. You won't be the only woman who enjoys being rimmed, but not being penetrated. You won't be the first woman who enjoys penetration with a finger, but not a penis. It's about enjoying the exploration no matter where it takes you.

A few other things;
First; there's no-one telling you that you must explore together with your partner. I actually encourage people to somewhere along this process, (also) explore themselves. You are the only one who can feel what's good while feeling what you're doing at the same time. In the end; we are responsible for our own orgasms and finding out what pleases us.

Second: there's no-one telling you this exploration should be a one-way-street. Again; I would actually encourage people to make this journey together. If only because your partner will develop a proper understanding of how sensitive the anal area is.

Last, and this is actually the important big finale;
It must be all about YOU!

You can only do this for you. It's not enough to want to please your partner. You should be the one wanting to do this. And his focus -too- should be on your pleasure. Why? Because of the nature of the anus. I've explained this all in reply to another thread..

Any questions, feel free to ask. Wishing lots of fun and pleasure, dear mrsbarrera! :)


Posted: 05 Oct 09:06

One more comment: Early in your sex play one or both of you can touch and tease the outside of the anus; however, I strongly recommend that neither of you give concentrate your attention outside and/or inside until s/he is very highly aroused! Much more intense sensations will occur after our level of arousal has become very high.

Still more: Do some rimming {rubbing the outside), first before attempting to go inside. When you or he is ready for penetration, do so very gently--no poking, pushing, shoving, a finger or penis inside; use gentle pressure only. Use plenty of lubricant. You/he might even consider wiggling a finger in the process in order to relax and open the orifice.

OH! even more: Turnabout is more than fair play! If you enjoy your boyfriend's attention down there, why not pleasure him, also. Here are the benefits for him: first, as with you are the intense sensations that fingering the area provides; second, is what happens when you finger or massage his prostate gland located about 2" inside and against the anterior (front) wall. It is about the size of a walnut. Waiting until he is close to climaxing and then fingering the area will help trigger an intense orgasm almost immediately. This can be very beneficial when going for multiple orgasms as subsequent ones tend to be more difficult to achieve.

Lastly, understand that it is perfectly OK to play with each others anus yet not permit your partner to insert his penis. Substitutes welcome--such as a finger, dildo or other toy.

I hope all of the information has been helpful. What has been going on with you two the past few days?


Posted: 05 Oct 09:06

You want to try new things...fine. Poke here, poke there. Position X. Position Y.
What you, personally you, need to do is to stop just lying there and letting him get on with whatever he wants to do.
Thats what men pay OTHER women for.
I recommend that YOU take an active role and explore what you want to do with him. Think about it this way, all of his life he's been focusing upon 'getting the girl'. Imagine how nice it would be to have HER jump HIM for once...or twice. Talk about a boost to his ego. "She wants me!!!" He'll be shouting it from the rooftop with glee.

Find somewhere in this section of the forum a sticky post entitled "The Program" and do that to him. Twice, just to make sure. Maybe even three times?

I can attest that those men I have done this to over the years have never regretted a moment of it.


Posted: 05 Oct 09:06

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