OP: Gf found out she has HPV and slept with me for a week before telling me

So my girlfriend comes home tonight and tells me she has Genital Warts, great news!!
She said it was a tiny tiny white bump so went to get it checked on a week ago. Turns out she has the STD, and they removed the tiny warts(them) when she was there.

I asked her why she took a week to tell me about this, and why she would sleep with me all week. Her response:
“I asked the Doctor what the best way to tell you was”
The Doctor said "you don't even have to tell him, if you don't want to". "He will have it 100% since you do, so there’s no reason to tell him if you don't want to".
This can’t be true, can it? Would a doctor at a Sexual health clinic say that?
The doctor told her, she’s most contagious during a “outbreak”. Well she had to get some removed so I assume that classifies as a “outbreak”. She slept with me because the Doctor said I have it also….so she didn’t see any problems.
What the hell?

I then asked what do we do...what do i do?...she says you can't get tested for them, so you have to see symptoms or you would never know.
So i sit back and do nothing, unless i see warts growing off me?
I'm confused :)

I know if someone has Chlamydia or Gonorrhea they have to list all of there recent sex partners, so the Clinic can get them tested to stop stop the spreading of it….
Wouldn’t it be the same for Genital herpes?
It's not that bad of a STD, but something seems off. Like she knew she had them a long time ago or something and never told me....

Thanks for any help/insight.


Posted: 28 Sep 07:53


No, it is not the same for herpes which is a viral infection that is passed from each lesion as for goharrhea and chlamydia which are bacterial and is passed in fluids.

I cannot imagine a doctor telling her not to tell you. I am required to report STDs and the local center will track down what partners they can - often a futile exercise.

First, see a doctor and explain just what you do here. It is likely that you had contact during an outbreak and you know what that means. You may be lucky and you may not be. Then dump the girl. No one needs a partner who is so inconsiderate of your health. Ask yourself whether there is a chance she contracted this from you or does she have some other friends?


Posted: 28 Sep 07:53

Thanks for the quick reply. I'm so confused as to why she would do this...

Few more questions when you have time, and i really appreciate this.

1. She tells me it could have been in her system for years, without her knowing- is this true? Or more than likely she cheated on me?
We've been dating 8 months...

2. You are required to track down the partners of Genital herpes, or no because it’s a viral infection?

3. You only have a risk when there’s an outbreak? If she just had them removed a week ago then that’s a outbreak, correct?

4. She said she did a urine test for goharrhea and chlamydia (or just one of them), and she got the result back right away and she doesn’t have it. I think I caught her in a lie…it would take a few days to get the results back, or it is instant?

Thanks so much


Posted: 28 Sep 07:54

Yes, it could have been in her system, as you put it, if you accept that this was her first outbreak. Similarly, it could be in your system for years before it shows up. Usually it does not remain dormant all that long. Another possibility is that she simply ignored or did not notice an earlier outbreak.

Different places have different requirements (I am in Scotland) for STD reporting. Genital warts, or other herpes, are difficult to track because of the dormant periods. An outbreak is whenever the warts are evident. You are right in her having had an outbreak. It can be transmitted when the lesions are not apparent, that is during their growth phase before they are large enough to detect.

If the doctor had a microscope immediately available, she could have gotten immediate, but not final, report on chlamydia and gonorrhea. The real test requires a few days incubation.

You have some decisions to make. First, get to a doctor and discuss this whole thing. The doctor can test for herpes simplex -1 and -2. The latter is what causes genital warts. The tests are far from perfect and some doctors will not even use them. In your case, a test is indicated.


Posted: 28 Sep 07:54

The latest:
She noticed something in January, but it cleared it up so she didn't go get it checked out. Then last week they came back so she went to the STD clinic--according to her the Doctor said i 100% have it if she does--that’s why she slept with me a few days ago....

I'm not sure what to do about her. I'm in love with her, but if she gave me a STD that never goes away.....wish she told me last week, but she was to embarrassed.

Oh well, to the Doctor i go.


Posted: 28 Sep 07:54

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