unconscious cramping & nightmares

For the past week I've been having nightmares and as I wake up all sweaty my entire pelvic floor is cramped up. And for the record; this hurts. Picture waking up with a cramped up calf. My nightmares are about being sexually abused and gushing blood in miscarriage. So the physical representation of the dream seems clear. This morning I literally woke up screaming. In the day-time, my pelvic floor has a tendency of cramping up as well. Vagina closing; not even a pinky will get inside. Anus cramping up as if trying to hold a bowl movement (that isn't there). I can relax when I consciously do so. Which is the opposite of how things are normally supposed to be. But the exercises do work. The best remedy; masturbating brings great relieve (you may see why I find it funny how hysteria and the cure by spasms was brought up yesterday :rolleyes:). For those who remember how about a year ago I was experiencing emotional distress after masturbating for several months, that is not an issue at the moment. I get into the moment, achieve several orgasms, which makes my body relax and loosen up more each time and I feel good after.

I have experience with this sort of cramping (at least during the day). A few years back it was concluded by a doctor I have this strong "fix". As I read up on it, I discovered it could contribute to abdominal pain (which I was experiencing greatly at the time). I consulted my physician with this information back then, who referred me to pelvic floor-therapy. Because of a waiting list, I got myself the information&exercises and started on these lessons by myself, at which I succeeded. I became able to use tampons comfortably for the first time in my life! :) I should probably mention that at the time I couldn't masturbate nor orgasm. That I learned half a year later. Over the years my pelvic floor did hardly cramp up like that, but did need some attention every once in a while. Not a nuisance, just a need for loving attention, as any part of the body does. For which I bought my yoni-egg and I actually like using it. Iow; it was fairly balanced.

The thing that causes me to be unable to fix this frustrating problem currently, is that I can't consciously relax while sleeping. When I wake up, it feels like it has been tide up in a knot for the past hours I was asleep. It takes me time to fix it. The moment I fall asleep again; the nightmares and crampings start again... During the day I can control it sufficiently. But it is starting to take it's toll that I'm feeling so sleep-deprived and exhausted... In the light of late emotional events, I could see what's probably causing it. Question is; how do I stop this when it's out of my conscious control?!:(

I can't contact my counselor (on a holiday), I tried to get an appointment with my physician, but he's away as well. So I turn to you for advice.

RedRoses