I did a long distance relationship for a year. Most of that time we didn't even know whether we'd be able to be close to each other. Luckily, we've ended up going to high school together - a boarding school.
I take it that you're the one who's a little bit more into the relationship.
That was me. I'll tell you everything I went through, and everything I'm going through now. The big difference is that you're a girl
First, to answer your question, try phone sex. It's great. You might want to start slow and work up to it - send each other sexy text messages. Do things, big things, things that make him remember why he wants to wait for you. Over Valentine's Day I sent my girl friend a huge thing of flowers. I mean big, like, well over $200. I'm a high school student without a job. That was big for me. No Christmas presents for me! Sacrifice proves everything.
Don't bend over backwards, though. Here's how you play long distance love. It's sort of like fishing. This person has, let's say, the "emotional steering wheel". Until a relationship is really solid, and I mean really solid, there won't be an emotional equilibrium consistently. Act like you're fishing. Let the fish take some line, think he's got the bait for himself, then pull him in. Let him know that you don't need him. You want him, god damn do you want him, but you don't NEED him. Don't just say that bluntly, though. But don't let him control you, emotionally. Stand up for yourself, even if it means you're risking something.
Everyone in a relationship needs to know that being with your significant other is a privilege, and everyone once and a while you need to remember to get down on your knees and say thank you.
I was a persistent bugger. My girl wouldn't even date me for two years until we were actually living at school together. Neither of us saw other people during that period. It takes a lot of faith to be 100% certain of that. But, we do what we do. It's been about a month and a half since we've been dating and seeing each other every day. It's wonderful, but don't think because you talk on the phone for three hours a night for a year that you know the person.
You do not know who he is yet. You just don't. You have an idea and you both probably have a deep connection with each other, but trust me, you don't know him yet. He doesn't really know you either.
Everything will change when you're together. You will have the same problems that all couples do. Once you hit the one month mark the sparkle of the "we're finally together" will be gone. After that there's gotta be something to make you both want it.
Long distance relationships feed off the fact that "oh my god everything would be so wonderful if we could just be in each other's arms!" Without that, they wouldn't last. But once you're together, that's gone. You actually have to be able to be content and routine with someone. It's a lot harder than it sounds. The transition is difficult.
I'm not sure we're going to make it. If we do, that would be great. If we don't, I'll bounce back, in time. You need to have that in mind, always.
If it's worth it, do what you have to do to make it worth. But really, it'll be better for you if you always remind yourself that you can walk away.
Good luck.
Ephemera
Posted: 04 Oct 22:13
