Oral sex
I am just curious if anyone has any suggestions. I enjoy giving my wife oral and she enjoys it as well. While kissing her she always pushes my head toward the region when she wants it. The problem in have is it is never giving back. I mention or motion my parts towards her and she states she is scared or doesn't know what to do. When she does all she does is kiss head and that is all she does.
Suggestions on how I can make her more comfortable and Willing to reciprocate the enjoyment I give her.
Replies:
So... If she is just shy about it, I would recommend finding 3-5 good videos on one of the porn tube sites that you can either let her watch to study on her own, or together. There are also some full length videos on the market that demonstrate a lot of ideas to get someone started... Nina Hartley might be a good starting point.
On the other hand, if she's just selfish and pretending to be shy, then it falls backs on behaviour patterns. You have been rewarding her bad behaviour to the point that she just pushes you down there... while copping out when it's her turn to reciprocate. If this is the case, I would cut her off of all oral and sex until she gets over her princess mentality. Take care of business on your own, and don't make it a secret that you're doing it.
Lastly, some people just really don't like to give oral. If she is one of those people, then you have to ask yourself how important having it in your life is... and then figure out your options for going forward.
Excellent reply, some women are selfish in that respect. I would go with that part of your reply. The key here is that she will kiss the head....
I'm not selfish, but I have to be in the mood to give my bf a bj. When he starts his move to go down on me, if I'm not in the mood to reciprocate, I discourage him by changing positions. Or simply softly saying "you don't have to". At that point if he insist by continuing kissing lower (his move) then parting my legs, I'll let him. But he knows at that point I'm not going to reciprocate.... Some of us find it special, very personal to give oral. In my short time ;-) I've had one bf that I never gave a bj. Although he did go down on me once in the 8 month relationship, I just never had that feeling I wanted to. But tomyour point, I never kissed the head.
I can say that I definitely have to be in the mood to give my husband a bj. And sometimes I swallow, and sometimes he cums on my stomach or chest, depending on my mood that day.
Have you asked her about it? I know sometimes women are concerned about smell, especially after a long day. Sometimes it is more a fear of not knowing what to do. And if she has watched bj's in porn movies, it does NOT look enjoyable.... they are making those women gag to the point they look like they are going to throw up. That wouldn't make me want to do it if I hadn't done it before either.
Suggestions:
1) If her concern is smell, or residual taste after urinating from there during the day, offer to jump in the shower. That is actually how I started. Then I realized that I didn't need to have him do that every time.
2) If her concern is not knowing what to do, you can offer to look up how to do it with her. You can also do this... the next time she kisses the head, ask her very sweetly lick and kiss your shaft and make noises for her that she knows it feels good to you. IF she seems to want to do more, then again ask her sweetly to just wrap her lips around your shaft. If she does that, make a big deal about it feeling good. IF she doesn't, save this step for the next time. IF she wants to keep going, then ask her to move her mouth up and down your shaft. IF she doesn't want to do that, again, save that step for the next time.
The idea is that you are teaching her at her pace what to do and what feels good to you. Also that she doesn't have to make herself gag to do it. Hopefully she will see how much you enjoy it... And maybe even enjoy it herself. When I am in the mood, I love giving it to hubby... partially because I love knowing how much he enjoys it.