Were you sorry you gave into your desire?
Me: 49 yo MWM. I love my wife. I love females. Even though I probably would not have a relationship outside of marriage, I love looking at women. When I was a teen, I also desired females. I couldn't wait for my first sexual relationship with a woman - literally. I had a couple of male friends who were also highly sexual. We would occasionally suck and fuck each other. Even though it felt good and I kind of enjoyed it, it could not quench my thirst for my first female. This went on for a few years.
While I enjoyed sex with my friends, I ended up having sex several with a older man who was in his forties. I was about fourteen. The whole thing with the older man kind of freaked me out. He wanted to kiss me and such. I really was only interested in the sex. I kind of figured I was straight. I ended up in bed with him, about four times. He would always fuck me in the ass an suck me off. I was OK with both of these as long as there was no kissing. Kissing meant you were gay!
When I finally became sexually active with girls, I quit homosexual activity entirely. I never even occasionally desired homosexual thoughts - ever.
Fast forward to the age of the Internet. As I browsed porn for years, bisexuality and homosexual thoughts entered my brain. While I still very much desire women, I have acquired desires toward penises - especially uncut ones. I am confused because I don't really like men. I do have sexual fantasies about sucking cock, cream pies and the such.
I don't think that I will ever act on it, but I have considered sneaking to a gay hang out and offering someone a blow job. Common sense always kicks in. Firstly, I do not want to cheat on my wife. I do not want a STD. And finally, I do not want to find out I am a gay as they come.
Anyone else out there like this? I don't know if I will ever act on my desires, but my desires are certainly stronger than they were last year.
addicted2cuck
Replies:
Some people are 100% gay, some are 100% straight. Most fall somewhere in between. I'd say the majority of straight men have at least had a gay sex act fantasy cross their mind, even fleetingly once in their life. Some more than that, and some act on those fantasies a few times like you did. That you were in your teens sort of blunts the fact you went a lot farther than most straight guys ever would . . . . in our teens most of us would hump a tree the hormones are raging so much!
At this point in your life I think you'd be wise to keep it to fantasies though, if your main attraction is hetero sex (and especially since you're married - very unfair to your wife unless you tell her that's what you want to do and she agrees to it - not likely).
If the urges continue to grow or starts to negatively impact your sex life with your wife, then you have some soul searching to do and come to a conclusion what you really want. Since you have no interest in an emotional relationship with another man I'd guess it's only the variety of sex, and you'll just have to find ways within your relationship to work that out . . . . maybe some fantasy role playing with your wife using a strap-on on you or whatever.
DVDBear
I'm a mwm and a kid and I played around when we were kids but as soon as we got girls we never touched each other again. But I'm like you now just thinking of cocks and not men. I haven't done anything yet but find myself looking more and more at Bi sites and don't know how much longer I will wait to try something.
My friend I played with is divorced but is now in a long time relationship with a new woman, I was thinking of seeing if he would like to play again but we haven't talked for awhile as I don't get along with his new girl freind.
After his divorce he moved in with me but that is when I was just starting to think about something like this. I guess life is full of missed opportunities.
opn2new