OP: Meeting someone I met online to try sex with another man?

I've been talking to a guy on the internet who is bi-sexual. Our chats have got very hot, and we have talked about meeting up. I am seriously turned on at the thought of us having sex.

I want to see what sex is like with a man, as I really, really want to try anal sex (taking, not giving). I'd obviously talk to him on the phone etc before we met, but as I have never done anything like this before, I am nervous. I am also a virgin, so this would be my first time at sex with anybody. I am 19, and he is 34. The age difference isn't my main concern, it's where we would do it that is giving me problems. I live with my mum and brother, so it would have to be at a time when they weren't in, or we would have to go to a neutral location.

The guy said he isn't into kissing other men etc. He just wants the sex, and that is exactly how I feel.

I'd be grateful for people's thoughts. Thanks.


Posted: 02 Oct 21:22


dont you read the newspaper? Hear the news? Doesn't this make any warning bells go off?

besides, Why would you want to give yourself up for the first time to somebody that much older than you who you don't really know and have never met? and also, how many virgins want to have anal sex the first time out?

I say forget about this and find somebody local. find a guy you like, that you can see, touch and feel in person! talk dirty to him and tell him you want anal sex and i guarantee you'll get him interested!


Posted: 02 Oct 21:22

Eeek! My gut response is don't do it. I totally agree with cajdi2004. Find someone you can talk to face to face before you decide to do any sex-stuff. Maybe you have a friend who wants to try the same thing?

Who knows what this guy on-line is all about. He could be a real whack-job with a thousand STD's.

lil' goober

Posted: 02 Oct 21:22

Sure, the risk is there cause you do see it on the news...but things also do work out on the net.
There are plenty of people out there who meet over the internet for sexual things or for dating purposes.

And if he wants to "give himself up" to someone older than him, that's his option.
It was my option to lose my virginity to someone much older than me, and I don't regret it in the least bit.

And if he wants his first time to be with a guy, then so be it.
In a way, he would still be a virgin since all he wants to do is receive, not give.

As for location, since you are of legal age, can't you get something like a cheap motel for a couple hours?
It may not exactly be the best place for the first time, but, when you don't have a lot of options, you don't have a lot of options.

And of course, I will merely say that if you choose to do it, just use protection.


Posted: 02 Oct 21:22

Okay, the protocol for situations like this:

Get to know the guy. Meet in a well-lighted, public place. Have dinner together. It would be VERY good if someone you know could meet him with you... at the very least someone you know should know where you are going to be... and make sure he knows that someone knows where you are going to be and with whom. If you get a hotel room, make it a mutually chosen place.


Sex is fun, but if you want to continue to be able to experience the fun, you have to be careful.

Take care.


Posted: 02 Oct 21:23

I'm less worried about the guy being a serial killer (altho all the bells, whistles, and warnings are in order) than I am the fundamentals of the decision.

In my opinion, this is not exactly the ideal "first encounter" for a 19 year old virgin.

There are much better ways to explore your sexuality and test the waters a bit. You might want to ask yourself if you'll be telling this story happily ten years from now when you're sitting around a table and somebody starts the "Tell us how you lost your virginity" game.


Posted: 02 Oct 21:23

I understand many of the warning posts here, but i have to go with Oberon on this.....you should meet in a neutral location first..even if it's just for coffee.

You need to feel comfortable with him and of course be somewhat attracted to him.

In the gay world this is called "Tricking" and it's very common. Judge if u want, but many bi and closeted gay men have sex this way.....and those of us who have, know the risk.

Another benefit of meeting this guy publicly is to validate his looks and profile.

Many men lie on their profiles or send old or inaccurate pics...so meeting in public will take care of that.

ALso, you should ask for the results of his most recent HIV test. If you or he don't have one...you should..but just know that risk going in. Ask him if he's barebacked anyone (bareback=unprotected sex)

Email me if u have any questions!



Posted: 02 Oct 21:24

Since I am not 100% sure, I am going to leave it. My intention wasn't to get to know the guy, I just wanted the sex. I don't consider myself to be gay, as I don't find men attractive. But at the same time, I wanted to see what sex with a man was like. Some may find that hard to understand, I can't really explain it. If he was younger, then I might give it a go. But 34 on reflection is a bit old for me.


Posted: 02 Oct 21:24

yeah I don't think age was as much of a factor as just the fact you were meeting an unknown man for sex. Anything could have happened, and we just want you to stay safe and happy

Im still kind of confused on the "not attracted to men" but want to have sex with them part. I might even understand it more if you were giving and not receiving, I dunno.
I mean Im straight but I wouldn't want to have sex w/ a guy I wasn't at least somewhat attracted to, ya know? I mean if they just totally turned me off, then it wouldn't go anywhere.


Posted: 02 Oct 21:24

Yeah, Demonbuttercup, I have a hard time with that statement..."I'm not gay or bisexual... I just want to have sex with a man." I'm not judging here. Anyone is free to describe their sexuality anyway they like. I just wonder if it makes you any less bisexual if you don't consider yourself to be?


Posted: 02 Oct 21:24

I'll try and explain. First of all, I don't, in any way, find men attractive. I find women very attractive. Secondly, as well as masturbating, I also enjoy a bit of anal play from time to time (although I have never used a vibrator). For whatever reason, the thought of a cock in my arse really turns me on (hope I am aload to say that on here). I guess I am of the mind set that anal play is a male thing, and if I want anal pleausure from someone, it has to be from a man or myself.

Now, I know plenty of women enjoy anal play as well, but I wouldn't find it comfortable a woman give me anal pleasure. It would be a bit strange.


Posted: 02 Oct 21:24

Well, Schumi, I think you are "proving my point" and I'm glad you're postponing the encounter.

With an apparent lack of experience, I think it's wrong to start worrying about labels.

The fact that you THINK "taking it up the butt" has some appeal to you (remembering that you haven't done it yet and may discover you actually don't like it!) doesn't mean you have to take on the label "gay" or even "bisexual."

Keep exploring. Do it safely, logically, and without setting yourself up to be something before it's clear that's who you are!


Posted: 02 Oct 21:25

Well from a woman's perpective that has been around the block a time or two let me weigh in here.

To me it doesn't sound like your gay or bi at all. Sounds like you like anal and that is normal and fine even for a totally straight man.

Now you are young and a virgin so you have a lot of years to learn about your sexuality. I just want to say that you shouldn't think its strange to have a woman do something to you. Lots of women like having anal play with their men and get very turned on at the idea of doing it.

I have used a strap-on and vibrators on my man and its great. So don't think its something you have to hide or go find some guy to satisfy your desires.


Posted: 02 Oct 21:25

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