OP: What does sex feel like for women?

Just a guy asking a question. What does sex feel like for women? I realize this is a hard question to answer in that it is a little hard to describe a feeling, so if you can't well okay, but here's hoping. I am asking for what it feels like to have the penis or toy going across and through the clitoris, labia, and into the vagina. I ask in other places and those people tell me it either feel like a stick being poked into you, other say it they don't really as it is simply too hard for them describe, and some say it feels good. I am looking for all kinds of different answers here please help?????


Posted: 14 Jan 02:50


Interesting subject. You're right in assuming there will be different answers, as every woman will experience this differently.

Physiology; Male equivalents to female parts
I guess the comparison to the clitoris and labia would be the easiest to compare. Caressing the labia would likely compare to having your balls caressed. And a clitoris is basically a super-sensitive head of your penis. While boys and girls are still embryos in the womb, these tissues are the same. A penis is basically an over-grown clitoris and your scrotum are the same as a woman's labia put together.

Describing a vagina and beyond is more tricky. Let's start at the parts that have no male equivalent. The cervix is sensitive and though it can be great to have it rubbed (I do, it's like a tiny clitoris inside my belly :)) it can also be downright painful to other women. The womb contracts upon orgasm, together with all those muscles in her pelvic region spasming. Perhaps the contracting sensation in your balls upon ejaculation could make sense? Picture that sensation, a bit more forcefully, inside your belly below your bellybutton.

A vagina itself has little nerve-endings, apart from at the entrance. So you could say there's quite a bit of no-where&nothing-land. It's the same area where a woman can comfortably wear a tampon without feeling it sit there. Speaking in facts; we only register pressure or receive input from whatever organs/tissue surrounding the vagina. It's why many women do not have orgasms from penetration alone, but need additional clitoral stimulation. There are also women who physically don't really enjoy penetration because of this; it doesn't really "give" them anything (thought the emotional part can make up for a lot; more about that later :)). However; there is also the fact the clitoris actually extends all the way inside, around the vagina. There is the gspot and the aspot and every unnameable spot that drives women wild, whether scientifically proven or not. Speaking for myself; I do recognize area's inside my own vagina that are typically numb and only register when something proportionate is inside, but other area's and sweet spots that make it one feast of sensations :)

Positive perspective
I myself was delighted the first time my then-boyfriend put a finger inside me to please me. A sensation completely different to how I with effort had shoved tampons inside there, which in fact without fail resulted in feeling absolutely nothing. Not even pain. Even at my unsuccessful attempts, while my vagina is able to tense up till the point nothing will enter no matter how much pressure applied.

But that first time I felt his finger gently seeking it's way in, applying pressure and friction, exploring and swiftly finding the exact places that left me I shivered with ecstasy and unable to stop the waves of pleasure coming over me, completely overwhelmed me with what my vagina was capable of. I also absolutely loved it the first time I felt a penis inside me. No pain, just intense pleasure. That is so overwhelming it takes hold of me completely; consumes me and liberates me.

It is hard to compare this to something, because even the sensations I feel on other parts of my body may be completely unfamiliar to anyone else, male or female. I'd say it's that tingling and prickling feeling I get when someone licks my neck that sends shivers up and down my spine. It's just that now these shivers will travel down to up. And the epicenter of that pleasure comes from more deeply inside me, making it more intense. There's also some similarity to my mouth; particularly in that moment where something reaches the back of my throat and is at the threshold of disappearing inside my body. The way my vagina envelops a penis and even though that penis is still part of another person, it seems to be at the threshold of infusing with me. This is not, may I point out, in any way the same to me as using a toy. Even when the toy is pre-heated, it never gives me that sort of feeling. A toy is more about a sense of fullness and vibrations that encourage my blood to flow towards the area. A tool; nothing more, nothing less. And very different from a penis with the inevitable person with his own thoughts, feelings and actions attached to it :)

Emotional component
Which brings us to the emotional component. I guess there is a emotional component and significance to this that may totally depend upon my emotional state and my relationship/feelings with the person in question and vice versa his state and feelings towards me. The unique 'vibe' of that moment, that makes sex different every time, even when it's with the same person. To me; a penis may feel like actually filling a void inside me; as a source of my comfort. It can feel like I'm embracing him; a vagina that hugs :) It can feel like totally melting together; in the most romantic way possible, there's not telling where he ends and I begin. It can feel like I'm taking control of him, while he squirms underneath me and I know I'm making him. Even ownership; for in that moment his penis is mine.

Negative perspective (and how to avoid :))
Sadly penises don't always feel that good. I've had men thrust away at me. Honestly; that feels like someone is swinging away at me with a bat :( If not painful, then it's numbing and incredibly unsatisfying. Also harmful; I've found out for myself it can take weeks for injuries to heal after a moron does that. And if he thrusts away at the wrong angle, it can even put a woman in hospital.

As an additional note: I can't say this is true for everyone, but I feel that men tend to become desensitized, rough and even reckless the moment they put protection on. Which first of all; he shouldn't be doing because it increases the chances of a condom tearing/breaking. And second; just because he feels less doesn't mean she needs to suffer! In fact; a woman might also dislike the use of a condom (I know I do). But you're both using it for a greater good, so let's not take it out on her. I'd say; men, be more careful and caring instead of less when you feel less. And make sure you use other input if you can't feel what you're doing so clearly no more.

Hope this helps! :) Also: perhaps you would like to return the favor and post a thread with your input on how sex feels like to men?


Posted: 14 Jan 02:50

First off allow me to say I am a 40 something year old male virgin I hope that explaine my question "Hoq does sex feel to women?" Second to you last point "Negative perspesctive" having just said I am a virgin let me also add that I have a siezure disorder and can't get around driving the way most people in my world, so don't really feel deserving female compainionship and NO I am not looking at men only women, anyway hope if and when ever I find someone some woman willing to be with me I hope if I ever get to were I start trusting away at her causing injury she makes sure I know I not gonna do that again in a painful way of my own, as for the other points thank you they were informing


Posted: 14 Jan 02:50

I have not been posting the last few months, mainly because there has been little activity. Your issue and question, especially with the explanation in your second post, certainly have the potential to lead to a meaningful discussion. Hopefully it will bring more of the regulars back for a bit. RedRoses has given excellent advice, as always, but perhaps I can expand on that.
First accept the fact that I shall never “know” how it feels to put my penis in a vagina; I have no penis. You shall never “know” how it feels to have a penis enter your vagina; you have no vagina. This is part of the magic of sex and love: two people who cannot know what the other is experiencing do their best to create pleasant sensations in the partner. Your question is a good question; most men simply seek a recipe or algorithm for good sex, evidently considering women as interchangeable automata who respond to superior technique. “If I do A, she will experience B.” It may not be the day for B for her!
As RedRoses began with physiology, I shall as well in describing what is happening. “Happening” and “experience” are two different things. Let us assume a man and woman in the traditional missionary position, both in a rather high state of sexual arousal with him already poised above her between her spread legs. He advances his penis towards her pudenda and, often, she will reach down to guide him (I always do). The first contact is the glans of his penis in her “vestibule,” the space between her inner lips just outside the introitus which is where her hymen once was. At this point, one or the other moves hips to press for admittance. The widest part of his penis, the glans and corona, passes through the narrowest part of her vagina, the introitus with the surrounding muscles. Actually, the primary muscle is two sections of one on which the clitoris is mounted in the front. The muscle splits into two sections, one on each side of the vaginal opening, and rejoins at the perineum between the vaginal entrance and the anus. Depending upon the size of the penis and the woman’s muscle tone this grand entrance can be very pleasurable for both partners. She can feel the ridge passing through her entrance and he can feel the grasping of his penis. Sometimes, it almost seems to spurt into the vagina as some penis’ narrow distinctly below the corona. The spreading of the muscles at the vaginal opening moves all parts of her genitalia. As the two branches of the muscle are spread apart, the clitoris is moved, the perineum is stimulated and the rubbing of the penile shaft over the lips is noticeable. As the penis moves deeper there is no additional feeling as the vagina contains no nerve endings. The feeling of depth she experiences is from pressure on the vulva, lips, clitoris and the pressure, inside, against other organs. The rectum is next to the posterior of the vagina and the urethra and bladder are next to the anterior wall. The rhythmic thrusting then begins. The physical feelings remain mostly external and she will adjust her hips and leg position to maximize her pleasure. Penile stimulation of the G-Spot is minimal, if any, despite what the crappy sex sites tell you. Shortly, the man ejaculates. The squirting of the ejaculate cannot be felt because of the lack of nerves in the vagina. Occasionally, the pumping at the base of the penis can be felt against the perineum, but not often.
OK, that is what happens every time with every man and woman. The male response or “experience” is somewhat predictable: the penis is encased in a warm, soft tube and, with a bit of gentle stimulation, ejaculation occurs. Entering a vagina is just that and there is not much room for variation. For the woman, who can have a variety of orgasm types, or even enjoy sex without orgasm, every step leaves a myriad of possibilities for experience. These can all be affected by place in the menstrual cycle, stress in the body or mind, feelings towards the partner, purpose of this particular episode of sex.
All women sometimes make love for the male partner with no real desire for anything earth shaking for themselves. Living with my fiancé in our twenties, we had some kind of sexual contact almost every day. That was much more frequently than I desired; a male in his twenties desires, almost needs, release every day. I was doing it for him and I chose the technique – oral, digital, vaginal – to keep him healthy. I experienced feelings of great warmth and love for him and was happy to have him inside me. On the other hand, if he had brought me to orgasm before entry, I was eager to take him in and felt very high sexual stimulation and was attuned to my body’s response rather than to his. A very different experience in which the penis was not “his” entering me but a part of “me” I was recovering to make me whole in that moment. For the man, the sexual experience seems to end at ejaculation. For women, it can be just the beginning. Whether we had an evening of great sex with my having a few orgasms or whether I simply “did it for him,” when I went to the loo in the morning, I received the same reminder that we had made love last night – the rather acrid smell of decaying semen that was draining from me all night. It is an unpleasant aroma but I loved it, it was cleared with half a minute on the bidet, and it reminded me that he was in me. During the day I would get little chills, aware that his sperm were swimming inside me and his semen was absorbed into my bloodstream. For those two years, I always had him in me.
I generally prefer making love with women, today, than with men but I have a need for heterosexual gratification and my entire fantasy life is with men – never men with whom I have had sex but those I wish I had. Over the hundred millennia or so during which mammals have evolved, the vagina has developed one, single purpose: to extract semen from penis. There is no feeling that is even similar to a penis entering us. Not a dildo, a carrot, a finger nor a cologne bottle (which is what I use). Simply taking a penis into me is partially fulfilling my biological purpose. Accepting the semen into me is a heavenly experience because it is fulfilling the female role.
You see, sex can be a very complex emotional issue. I think more so for a woman than a man.
A recommendation to you based on your second comment: There is a book and movie entitled “The Sessions” that would benefit you. The movie stars Helen Hunt and John Hawkes. For some men, simply seeing her naked makes it worthwhile! It is a true and poignant story of one whose limitations are greater than yours and how he developed his sexual being. There are those who can help you. I have known nurses, and at least woman doctor, who have helped men. There are caregivers who include sex in their services. Surrogates are a controversial topic but, in my view, serve a great purpose.


Posted: 14 Jan 02:50

Both Red Roses and Brandye delivered an outstanding post about what a woman feels or experiences. I salute both of you. This gives gives me more of an insight to please my wife better. Thanks to both of you.

Posted: 28 Jan 15:45

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