After my healing time was completely over, I attempted penetration again, using a variety of techniques: shower, masturbation, using a mirror, everything. I still found it impossible to even get a Q-Tip in. I got very depressed about it for a while, figuring I was just a "hopeless case" and feeling incredibly incompetent, not attempting anything for a while.
I eventually checked back with my gynecologist, who discovered the obvious; my vaginal muscles were very atrophied and weak from lack of use (and I appear to have a touch of vaginismus [involuntary muscle contraction] also).
My gyn gave me a sample of estrogen cream to use to strengthen the muscles, and after about a week of applying daily, I was finally able to insert something into my vagina!! It's been about three weeks now, of using the cream 4-5 times a week, and I can usually insert a light tampon, so long as I'm lying down and have plenty of time to ease into it. Today, after about fifteen minutes of easing, I even felt like I could attempt something larger. Maybe the boyfriend's fingers will be next...? :)
I'm certainly much, much more hopeful than I was before. It's amazing to actually feel like there's something down there, even if it's annoyingly difficult to locate at times. :p
OP: kate_luana 11/19/2008
Posted: 23 Sep 03:59