OP: What is wrong with me? Am i bisexual?
I was very reluctant to register here but I've been dealing with these feelings for a while now and I feel like there's no one I can talk to. I am a 42 year old heterosexual woman. What is wrong with me? My husband and I have been married for 12 years and have a 11year old daughter! I am 5ft10 tall heterosexual curvy hourglass shaped attractive brunette. I have very large breasts(32GG) and i do have a big butt. I don't intend to dress in any particular 'way' for anyone. I just wear what I like. I don't 'ask' for anything. I don't ask to be groped. I wear clothes that fit me properly. Most of my outfit are satin pant and skirt suits satin coats and satin and silk blouses. I am always on high heels and full make up on. If you are curvy, tall and busty, many clothes tend to look sexier on you than on a thin person. So things that fit properly that are relatively conservative can be suddenly too revealing and sexy when you put it on. This happens to me a lot. I wear almost always my satin and silk blouses fully buttoned to the top combined with a satin skirt or satin pants. I don't wear anything vulgar but because of my body type anything i wear looks tight on me. Being tall and curvy draws attention on its own. This can be both positive and negative. I tower over plenty of men and women. I was sexualised from a very early age, and shamed for the way my body looks - something I have no control over. I can't help how wide my hips grow or how big my breasts get.
My mother used to shame me for the way my body looked. If I wanted to wear a skirt or dress, she always discouraged it, she always thought my skirt was 'too short' or 'too tight', or there was something wrong with my dress-sense. There's always guys flirting or asking me for my number. When I go out in public guys start talking to me and subtly try to ask me out. I mention I have a husband but some of them wont go away. I have trouble being mean so i cant get them to leave me alone. I end up getting stressed by it. The irony is that all this time I've been afraid of men, perceiving any touch as a sexual advance that I should fear - when really, it was a short, skinny old woman I should have feared. My story just seems so implausible that I feel I won't be believed.
Three months ago i started working at this accounting firm. It is all female workplace. Other 14 employees are women in their 40s and 50s. Other women there, my coworkers, think that i am stuck up and arrogant upper middle class snob. I feel like these women don't really like me.I am considered by most of other women my coworkers to be very serious, arrogant, and stuck up. One woman group member has described me as a snob on about half a dozen occasions. I still don't really know why. I know on one of those occasions it was because I turned down the offer to go to a coffee with her after work. How not wanting to go somewhere makes me a snob, I don't know. One woman always comments on my clothing saying that i am always overdressed in satin and silk clothes and glammed up. I am dressing like this since i graduated college and got my first office job. It is my whole wardrobe. Its how i like to dress myself and that is my style.
It sucks to see your coworkers do group lunches everyday and not be included. And it's not just lunches that I'm not included in. These women my coworkers are the most gossipy, nitpicking, backstabbing group I have ever come across. They are so quick to tattletale on you for some of the most minor things and chastise you. I'm confident that I look good in my clothes my style is "sexy but classy" I don't believe I have ever offended or embarrased myself or anyone with my wardrobe. I am a very classy woman and i would never dress in a cheap trashy way. I have noticed that at times I apologize for the size of my boobs. Being tall and curvy draws attention on its own. This can be both positive and negative.
I tower over plenty of men and women. I love my height and my curvy stature. I love satin and silk clothes and dressing up too. I am always in high heels with hair and makeup done. That’s just who I am.
Only one woman my coworker is friendly with me. She is skinny really short like 5 ft 3 freckled face creepy green eyes thin lips red haired masculine 53year old woman. But for some reason, she feels entitled to touch, squeeze or jiggle my breasts and to rub and slap my ass. On my second day there in the office restroom she said "Wow! Your breasts are sooo large! Can i touch them" AS she was already grabbing and squeezing them! I just said it looks like you are already touching them. In the moment, I found myself laughing it off. And this woman is really short, her head is exactly the level of my breasts. Since then this woman my friendly coworker thinks she can just walk up and feel my boobs or grab my ass when ever she feels like it!! She routinely slaps or rubs my butt. She loves to squeeze or jiggle my breasts and tell me how soft and squishy they are. She thinks they are toys. She often hugs me around my waist and then proceeds to hump me (From behind usually but sometimes from the front).
Usually it happens when no one is around in the restroom, in the hallway, by the watercooler or on the parking lot. I hate that i have grown accustomed to it. I am physically stronger than her. I am 5ft10 tall well built well endowed and curvy.She is like 5ft3 tall skinny. I am always on high heels she is always in sneakers. Standing next to me she looks like a midget. One of the weirdest things that's ever happened to me: I used to have zero feeling in my breasts when this ginger midget was groping them -- and then over time I developed sensation! And now it's INSANE. I enjoy it.It almost makes me come. Having my ass grabbed and my breasts squeezed, jiggled and massaged(over clothes) by this ugly short ginger woman is something I like. What is wrong with me? I am a straight woman, I love men, simple! I am straight and I am completely 100 percent straight. I have never been attracted to a woman sexually. I am STRICTLY hetero. Even the thought of eating out a vagina makes me gag. I've never had any desire to do anything sexual with a female. Also this ginger groper coworker is ugly and repulsive to me. I always laugh uncomfortably and try to be as dismissive of the situation as possible when this short skinny ginger woman coworker is groping me. .
I know other women my coworkers probably laugh at me behind my back because of this situation with this ginger woman groper colleague. One woman coworker said to me that I make stupid faces while this woman groper is groping me and humping me. She also said that it is bizarre that standing next to the groper I look like a giant and I let her get by with it. I just laughed and replied to this woman that we (me and friendly groper coworker) just have a weird bond like that. Other women my coworkers probably think that I am okay with it. This friendly coworker says to me that because her face is at level with my breasts and I am rather large she finds touching, squeezing, rubbing, and patting them and resting her head on them comforting. She said that she finds great comfort doing this when she’s stressed. She always places her hand on my ass when I stand beside her. When she gives me hugs she tries to bury her head into my breasts. She will just randomly grab them. If she needs comfort she will tell me “I gotta rub your boobs”. If I just stand there, she would stay there for a long time just feeling them and squishing my breasts or whatever. Also she will just full on grab my butt. I’m just standing there, and she’ll walk by me and take a swipe at my butt.
Should I feel ashamed of myself? Is this normal/what can I do to make it stop? This ugly creepy ginger midget is my groper with benefits. I have the desperate need to have my breasts and ass groped by her. Background: my boobs are rather sensitive, but this has never really been something I was experiencing before.
I love my husband and he loves me so much. We have a wonderful and caring marriage. We hug and kiss and don't care about showing our love to the world.
But,
Over the past four years or so my husbands sex drive as been super low. To the point where if he doesn't initiate sex, we don't have sex more than once every month unless I initiate it. He loves sex, and it's very easy for me to turn him on and get things going, the problem is is that I'm getting tired of being the only one to initiate it.
He tells me he thinks I'm beautiful and sexy all the time, but sexually I feel undesired and like he no longer finds me attractive to the point of wanting to have sex with me.
I have mentioned this to him countless times, and in our conversations we both cry, he apologizes and reaffirms his love and affection for me. He promises to be better because he claims he wants sex. He's just tired, or doesn't think of it, or something.
The thing is, we have had this conversation so many times and nothing has changed. I don't want to hurt my husband and I don't know what to do. .
This groper ginger colleague is more friendly than other women my coworkers. She frequently invites me to have lunch or join her for feminist workshop . She texts me at random times to ask if she can drop by to say hello. But she rubs and strokes my breasts and rubs my ass talking about random stuff regularly. She also will kind of... hold me from behind with her hands on my breasts very tightly in a way that I can't move, even when I'm trying to get away from her. She can't resist either grabbing and squeezing my breasts or ass or rubbing up behind me... and it's awesome for me. It turns me on. Whenever this ugly ginger midget is grabbing or slapping my ass or squeezing and feeling up my breasts... I melt.
All i know is that i'm not a lesbian (not that i have anything against lesbians or gay people) it just isn't for me. Anyway, is this normal for a straight woman?
Posted: 06 Dec 07:31
