OP: Overstimulation

Hello! This is my first post in the forums.

My issue is this: when engaging in oral sex or intercourse with my girlfriend, everything is wonderful. But when I'm about to climax, I always have to slow down, or tell her to slow down, because if I have too much friction around the head of my penis when I do climax, it becomes uncontrollably stimulated and ticklish. When this happens, it can kindof ruin the climax, because I can't really feel the pleasure when there's this intense tickling on top if it. It's like trying to enjoy an intense back rub while someone is really tickling your abdomen bad... you can't really feel it. Also, I think it's the hottest thing in the world when my girlfriend and I can climax simultaneously during sex, and she enjoys it too, but every time I have to slow down, which I worry doesn't make it as enjoyable for her. If I don't slow down, I lay wondering, "where'd my orgasm go?" afterwards. And if I climax before she does, game over. It would be really really nice to be able to keep moving in intercourse and oral sex after I've climaxed.

So I'm wondering if this is typical (I think it is for some men), and whether or not there's anything I can do about it.

versus 01/08/2007

Posted: 23 Sep 05:39

Replies:

well i know the feeling your talking about. i feel the same way only its after i climax. strange that you get that feeling during the climax. and yes it is possible to keep going after you finish. as long as you stay aroused you should be able to stay errect. you just gotta get over the tickeling feeling. it will go away after a little bit. personally it took me a while to get over it but just keep trying to go as long as you can after you climax and pretty soon that strange feeling you get wont really bother you to much and after a few moments it will subside and you can keep on enjoying sex

Bigrick31

Posted: 23 Sep 05:39


I recently related this story to someone else about a man whose arm hurt when he raised it above his head. Concerned, he went to the doctor and the doc. advised that if it hurt then he shouldn't raise his arm so high. My point being that if there is an area that tickles, and at a particular time, then avoid that spot. Also, there is a workaround for tickling and that is to use more pressure. If you are using a lubricant then you can squeeze harder or rub with a firmer touch and this might very well stop the sensation from happening.

> if I have too much friction around the head of my penis when I do climax, it becomes uncontrollably stimulated and ticklish.

Please clarify three things. First, where is "around the head"? Are you referring to the Glans as a whole, a particular area/spot {where?), or, on the shaft near the Glans? Third, do you touch this place when you masturbate and is doing so crucial to the triggering of your climax?

It is normal for us to become much more turned on when in the presence of a lover than when we are home alone and stimulating ourself. This is the most likely reason why you are becoming ticklish. We generally experience much more intense sensations from oral stimulation than we do from a hand job. The reason for this is because the sensations we experience from oral stimulation are often not the same as those reqired to build and then trigger an orgasm. What usually happens is that in an attempt to trigger an orgasm our partner continues to stimulate us, our excitement continues to build, the sensations increase yet because the stimulus is different than what we rely upon to have an orgasm, it doesn't happen. At some point, either a guy will cry "uncle" or ask for a breather so that things can subside a bit. If you do this then switch tactics and have your partner either get you off by hand, or, better yet, using both methods in what I refer to as the "dynamic duo"!

> I think it's the hottest thing in the world when my girlfriend and I can climax simultaneously during sex, and she enjoys it too, but every time I have to slow down, which I worry doesn't make it as enjoyable for her.

Yup, I agree, although having just done so, please do not be dismayed if and when they do not occur at or near the same time--as is most often the case.

If you are concerned about how she feels about this or anything else, then you need to ask her. Good communication (as well as feedback) are important to a successful relationship. You very well may learn that what is important to her is not what is important for you. A case and point is that for her, enjoyment may be with the journey and not so much the destination.

What do you know about "hotspots"? We all have them; the A#1 spot is the Frenulum {Y-shaped ridge of skin extending from the cleft to the top of the shaft). Rubbing along the ridge immediately prior to an orgasm is a guaranteed and immediate trigger. One or more can be found around the Corona Rim where the Glans and shaft meet. Learn where yours are and then one or both of you incorporate them into your foreplay when you are very aroused.

dancingdoc2

Posted: 23 Sep 05:40


For all intensive purposes, I mean the glans as a whole. It doesn't really have anything to do with whether I'm with my lover or masturbating. If I were to rub the glans very much while masturbating, I'd feel the same thing, but, well, when you masturbate with your hand, you've got a hole in the end, so the glans isn't constantly rubbing up against something unless you want it to. During intercourse and oral sex, it's clearly unavoidable. Touching the glans during masturbation certainly helps build the anticipation and is a great feeling, but usually consists of light, unlengthy touches--not constant pressure. I don't really know if it's integral to orgasm or not, but it certainly helps.

All sex is definitely great, don't get me wrong--this isn't a big problem. Just something I'd like to help if I can, because I feel it can make things, for me, better. My girlfriend and I are open and honest about things, and we don't have any problems talking about sex. This isn't so much me asking, "how do I make things good for her?", as much as it is, "I've got this weird physical tendency which I'd like to subdue for my own personal pleasure."

versus

Posted: 23 Sep 05:40


Thank you for the follow up. In many of my replies to people I suggest that having compatibility in all things romantic including intercourse, is a matter of exploring and learning together. This may be another one of those situations where the two of you should experiment and see if different techniques, pressures, rhythms, or places to touch or avoid will improve your situation. Think of the possibilities...think of the fun. I wish I had a definite solution.

dancingdoc2

Posted: 23 Sep 05:40


As a man approaches climax, there is an increased flow of blood to the glans penis (head of the penis). This engorgement usually turns it purple and it increases size measurably. At the same time, this stretches the skin and bring more nerve ends closer to the skin. It can be unbearable. In the vagina, the balloon effect of the vagina reduces stimulation and is a rather gentle pressure, anyway. The woman can and need make no adjustment. In our mouths or hands, we women need to be aware of this and adjust the stimulation. The taste buds of the tongue are really quite rough and can cause what you describe. As your orgasm approaches she could use gentle sucking pressure and no friction. Have her do you by hand very slowly so that she can observe the late changes that take place and understand what she is dealing with.

In a woman, the clitoris actually retracts at the analogous point in our arousal. It does not go flacid, it retracts into our bodies to protect itself. Both of these phenomena are less than completely understaood by many.

Brandye

Posted: 23 Sep 05:40





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