OP: She's three months in, what can a husband do?

Ok, so here is the deal....my wife just entered her second trimester and I need some advice.

Due to the nausea and decreased sex drive, the first trimester saw our sex life take a dive. Not quality-wise, the sex we did have was mind-blowing! The frequency did drop off, which is to be expected. I'm not complaining, I know it comes with the territory. She was conscientious about and although we didn't have much intercourse, I did get pretty frequent handjobs (or sometimes assistance with taking care of myself). Great right? Yeah....but....I want more...

I want to pleasure her. Every once in a while I will get the opportunity, but not often because she says orgasms give her cramps. This really sucks because she turns me on now more than ever!

So anyway, I crave more intimacy. Even if it isn't really a sexual thing, I want to be able to make her feel good.

So now my question....I have never been pregnant obviously and I don't know what it is like. So for those of you who have been there, can you give me any advice? What did your partner do that made you feel good? Physically, emotionally, preferably both. What would you have liked him to do? Help me out ladies! :)


Posted: 30 Sep 19:08


best thing, to ask your wife really...
all women experience different things during pregnancy.
if coming to orgasm gives her cramps then maybe do what you usualy do to really please her but just back off more towards her climax so she gets to a peak, but not over the edge?


Posted: 30 Sep 19:08

Asking her doesn't usually get me anywhere. I think part of the problem is that this is her first pregnancy so she is experiencing all of this for the first time. She isn't really sure what she wants/needs.

The problem with forgoing the orgasm is that when after we get started, she wants to go all the way. It is getting her to that point of wanting it is the problem. I have read books that speak about sex during pregnancy, and they all say to let her make the first move because she knows what her body wants. The only problem with that is that she has never been the one in the relationship to make the first move. Every once in a while she would but it was usually me.

I guess I am just looking for ways to be intimate with her without going down that road. Also just looking for advice from those who have been there.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:09

There is a sticky on sex during pregnancy. Read it.

Generally, the first trimester sees a reduction because of morning sickness and other discomforts. The second trimester often sees increased desire on the part of the woman because of hormonal changes. The third trimester is a big question until you get there. At the very least, some adjustment to positions is required. Except in risky pregnancies, there is no medical reason to limit sex.

Read the sticky.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:09

I have read the sticky. I guess im just having a problem conveying what im looking for. im just looking for some nice things I can do for her to make her feel special. it doesn't have to be sexual.

I understand all of the mechanics, im just looking for some inside info. trying to get inside the head of the pregnant woman and find out what she desires. I know all women are different but if I could get some ideas im sure I could find some things that would fit.

Maybe im on the wrong forum. I just figured since there is a lot of relationship advice on here I might be able to get some insight.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:09

okay so personally i have become so swollen that sex litterally hurts my doctor even said that I was a little tighter than expected but it really sucks because my sex drive is in... well, overdrive. But if my partner becomes to aggressive it's not a good thing. So he just has to be patient and work with me he's very soft and intimate which is a turn-on too so it makes things more pleasing and less painful. I would say for you to do the same... be patient go in slow and see what she wants!


Posted: 30 Sep 19:09

okay i am pregnant and me and my bf had an awesome sex life we had sex everywhere before i got pregnant .. Now it took a really bad dive .... NOt his fault at all I wish i could feel like i did before but it just isnt possible right now.. my insides so to speak dont feel the same.. the only way i get off or even feel great during sex is if he goes down and gets me off then has sex with me.. Which normally i perfer it doggy style or him lifting my legs up... so Believe me its all frustrating for everyone


Posted: 30 Sep 19:10

i am married.

the sickness should go away within like 3 months if that and sex drive should b the same; it was with me. we have a 13 month old son and a 3 month old daughter. dd sleeps alot still and son plays with his toys alot so we find time to have our time. it isnt too fun @ the end of pregnancy to have sex ill let u know that; she will probably feel huge and alot of pressure if u are very rough @ all starting at like 7 months. but once baby is born and she's on b/c then she should be back to way things were.

hope that helps


Posted: 30 Sep 19:10

My favorite thing is when food is brought into the equation. Doesn't have to be sex all the way. Just general outside play, no penetration since you say that leads to her wanting to go all the way which only leads her to owwie. Eat ice cream/whipcream/chocolate/fruits/anything you want off each other. If her tummy is big enough, you could put choco chips on her tummy in a line leading down to her funspot.

Food is fun.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:10

Nice things that you can do for you wife are simple... look into your heart and think about what would make you happy... for example.. take coco butter lotion and start now to rub it all over her belly, lightly, not only will it make her feel better but it will help to prevent stretch marks. Give her a foot massage, or brush her hair or just tell her how beautiful she is. Buy her flowers and if she says she has a craving for something go get it for her. When we are pregnant we feel fat, ugly, and insecure. Our hormones race and we are flooded with emotions and feelings that we have never felt before. Just be there for her. Listen to her and talk to her. When she is throwing up rub her bck and bring her water. She is caring your child so help take care of her. Cook her her favorite dinner and you clean up the dishes. After the morning sickness stops, if it stops, take her out to her favorite resturant or buy her a really cute outfit. Start buying little things for the baby like clothes or blankets. These are non sexual things that you can do for your spouse. I also know that where I live we have a clinic that specializes in baby massages. They basically are a pregnancy spa so a pregnant women can go there and they will do everything to make her feel better. The less stressed that your wife is the better she will feel and the better the baby will feel in the womb. I hope this helps.


Posted: 30 Sep 19:11

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