First off, congrats on having a wife that enjoys sex and is open to exploring her sexuality. That is a gift you should always treasure.
I happen to be a submissive and will be in a Dominate/submissive relationship with my guy early next year. I have done extensive reading on the topic, so let me see how much I can help with on your questions. Bondage and blindfolding are major a turn on for me too.
Your first question asked how you can tell. Simple you both sit down and really talk about it. Trust and honesty have to be in play if you are going to do this type of sex. And remember what might seems like a “perversion” today can very much become an interest tomorrow. I have grown very much since I first started this journey of mine. So, one good way to help you out in deciding what is fun and what is not is to use a BDSM check list. You both do it and then compare so you have a good idea where both your interest lies. Just Google, BDSM check list and you will find several sites that have one. I would give you the link to the one we used but I’m not sure if that is allowed.
Yes, I do know some places where there are some beautifully erotic photos of different pictures depicting bondage and other BDSM activity. You will have to PM if you want those links.
So many things are a turn on. Back to the checklist again. Using hot and cold, like ice and hot wax is a turn on for many. Floggers can be very erotic, sensual, wicked and versatile. They come in many forms and you can have endless fun with them. Orgasm denial is my one of my favorite things to do. Taking her to the edge over and over. Making her ask you first, saying no, her begging and then you commanding her to cum now. Yummy!
Your wife’s orgasms sound much like mine. You will need to be much more in tune with her body language. But, there are many ways a woman can achieve orgasm so mixing it up is great fun. Once she has achieved orgasm and her body is very sensitive to touch that doesn’t change because she is bound. You need to let her have a break. Make her do something to you for a bit.
Yes, you have to have a safe word. We keep ours simple; yellow means I’m close to my limit and red means stop right this minute. You must always respect the safe word or you break the trust and she won’t be able to really let go.
I can understand your worry about doing it so much that you won’t have great “vanilla” sex. I actually watched a show on HBO not long ago about that. The couple was so into their kink that they had lost how to just have wonderful sex together without all the trappings. So, if you both need to have good communicating skills and agree that you won’t let this take over your life. My man and I love our kink, but we also want to just make love to each other without any of the frills that D/s has.
There are many good sites and message board about this, with people ranging from the hard core to couple like you that just want some extra "spice" in the bedroom. I would be happy to share what I know and give you any links to the sites that are my favorites. Just send me a PM.
Be safe, Be sane and always be consensual.
Posted: 02 Oct 23:14