OP: Orgasm Denial Due to Wife's Health Problems

I am not sure if I would technically call this a fetish, but over the last year or two I have really enjoyed orgasm denial. The reason I would not call it a fetish is because my wife has a chronic illness that causes chronic pain, and it is very difficult for her to do anything sexual. She has nerve damage from the illness and so any physical touch can be painful for her. Often when the pain is not as bad for her, I will make her come (by fingering her clitoris and sucking her nipples) and then that is that. She is usually unable to have sex because it is too painful. Sometimes even getting out of bed is difficult for her, so more often than not, when we do have sex, she asks me not to come so she doesn't have to get up and... clean up. Before anyone gets the wrong idea, this is not at all a domination thing. She legitimately has physical limitations. But, the intimacy is important to me, so I would rather have sex and not come than do nothing. Sure, it leaves me anxious and unsettled, but I can't pass up the closeness of sex. So, I have conditioned myself over time to enjoy -- and now, possibly even prefer -- to have my orgasm denied, either by having sex and pulling out right before coming, or just making her come and doing nothing for me. In fact, it's been nearly two weeks since we had sex (she was able to let me come that time), and in that period I have made her come three times without anything sexual in return. She used to feel guilty when she couldn't do anything for me, but I have finally convinced her not to, explaining that I love to make her come and that I, now, also enjoy not coming myself.

Anyone else have similar barriers to intimacy, and have found creative ways to make it work?

Posted: 10 Mar 20:13