OP: Fear of him masturbating

Nothing happened to me...lol. Like I said the frst time I even got the thought in my head was after my first panic attack which lasted about 2 weeks. I have tried moving past it by telling them to go do it and I will go about my day. Never works out. My fear is irrational since I am aware that everyone does it. I do trust my boyfriend completely and hate that this is such a distraction in my life. I know the one thing is one I am done in a relationship they try to taunt me with it but because I am not with them anymore it doesnt bother me. Its just the person I am with. I have been to see a therapist but when it comes to this subject I am to embarresed to talk about it. I feel like a complete wacko. I dont know anymore

nicciy69

Posted: 23 Sep 09:01

Because you know your fear is irrational, then there must be a reason, real or imagined. Could the reason be one of trust? What about a fear of abandonment in which he took matters into his own hands so to speak rather than come to you for resolution of the problem, perhaps fixing it by making love?

Men masturbate for the following reasons: because it feels so good, and secondly, to relieve stress. Knowing the latter, what is there to fear? Women have a much harder time separating having orgasms for pleasure and having them as an outward expression of the love they have for their partner.

A man can make love, enjoy the process and a resulting orgasm and an hour later--masturbate. The two events have nothing in common except for the finale. That a man masturbates while in a relationship with you should not bother you at all.

Now that you know all this, try and figure out why this bothers you. If you cannot come to terms with the fact that every man does this and that doing so has nothing to do with the women in their lives then you should probably seek counseling.

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page you will find even more information.

dancingdoc2

Posted: 23 Sep 09:01

What happened to you?

EvilEvilKitten

Posted: 23 Sep 09:01

Evil asks the proper question. There is something in your background that gives rise to this irrational fear. Perhaps a few visits with a therapist would help because there is no way to develop the history online.

Almost all people masturbate. The male has a physiological imperative to ejaculate with constant production of sperm and semen that overwhelms his "storage capacity." The easy answer to that problem is to masturbate. We women want to think that we can extract the excess and keep our men happy. His masturbating, if it happens, is not saying you are inadequate.

Talk to someone who can help you see through this.

Brandye

Posted: 23 Sep 09:02

I have never had a good self esteem but I wouldnt say its horrible. I feel I am pretty but could stand to lose a few pounds. No i do not think they will cheat on me. I guess I see it as they are cheating on my with themselves. i know its something deeper but the question is what?

nicciy69

Posted: 23 Sep 09:02

You see masturbation as CHEATING? Oh dear. You certainly have set yourself up for an EPIC FAIL. Consider, men think of sex every 8 minutes on average. They will often 'relieve the pressure' by masturbating. Perhaps not every 8 minutes but you get the message. I strongly encourage you to forget the word and even the concept of CHEATING. After all, he is not your husband. So you could stand to lose a few pounds. No one's perfect. But there is one thing you can be sure of:

THERE IS NO ONE ELSE ON THIS EARTH EXACTLY LIKE YOU

You are the one, the only YOU that has ever been and that will ever be. That's it. You're a unique individual. You have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to fear. NOTHING TO FEAR. Seriously. Fear, in whatever form it takes, is the great crippler of humankind. In the absence of anything medical, face up to whatever causes your fear. Bet you it turns out to be the equivalent of "the monster under the bed". Yes, I had a panic attack once. Recognized it for what it was and just kept on going. Not exactly easy but it can be done. Push on through and no, the sky will not fall.

Masturbation is perfectly normal and necessary for both sexes. I suggest you try it yourself and see.

EvilEvilKitten

Posted: 23 Sep 09:02

Evil kitten, you summed it up without all the psychological blabbering.

Posted: 16 May 22:50