The experience of orgasm is different for everyone – both mentally and physically. Some men and women show little reaction, such as lying very still or merely shutting their eyes in orgasmic oblivion. Others groan, shake, convulse, stiffen their entire bodies, or thrust at each other intensely. Some are very good at verbally indicating how close they are to peaking by saying things like "I'm almost there" or, "I have to slow down or I'll come". If you know each other well enough, you'll be able to tell by the mere expression on the other’s face.
Perhaps the reason why you can't 'feel' each other cum, is because you can't 'see' each other cum; the physical signals and verbal cues leading up to orgasm might not be clear enough for each of you to know the other’s stage of arousal.
Depending on his age, there is a possibility that your boyfriend is having weaker orgasms, and by that we mean he gets a lesser physical reaction from climaxing. When men are young, particularly around their sexual peak, not only is orgasm easier to achieve - sometimes too easy - it feels really intense, and usually comes along with a robust quantity of ejaculate. As men age, their experience of pleasure may change; it's not as powerful as it used to be, nor is it as sought after. Pleasure at this point becomes more subjective, so it's important not to get too wound up about exactly what the norm should be.
The same subjectivity applies to Orgasm for women. Some women climax easily – others do not, but get intense enjoyment nonetheless. What is important is that sex is highly enjoyable – and that you are able to communicate that satisfaction to each other one way or another.
If either, or both, of you feel the need to up the intensity level, there are a few things the two of you can do to delay climax so as to improve its power:
1. Delay orgasm for as long as possible. This involves a slower buildup to sex, or slowing down the pace when either gets too excited.
2. For him - try leaving more time between instances of ejaculation. See if he's willing to decrease his frequency of Masturbation, or only Ejaculate every other time you partake in sexual activity together.
3. Your lover could also practice exercises aimed at improving ejaculatory control. By doing daily pelvic floor contractions, he'll be capable of clenching these muscles during coitus to Last Longer.
4. When he feels himself getting close, he should try the Beautrais maneuver, by grasping his testicles and pulling firmly (but carefully) downward. This blocks ejaculate from passing through the urethra. This is also a great way to prepare him for having multiple orgasms.
5. Build up pleasurable sensations slowly through teasing, Sensual Massage and other playful sexual activity such as Role Play and Sex Toy play.
6. Focus on stimulating other sensitive zones like the testicles, nipples, neck, ears or anus.
7. Incorporate the principles of Tantric Sex into lovemaking. This will help to intensify orgasm and can bring lovers closer together.
Ultimately, both of you need to get over your expectations of what orgasm should look like and focus on ensuring that one another's experience feels amazing. Most importantly, where is the communication? If you both want to know when the other is close to coming, why not start by telling each other?
Posted: 17 Aug 20:51