Being overweight
This is something that has been bugging me for a while and I was wondering if anyone has any comments on the topic of a woman's weight. Is it something that you consider when meeting a woman, being attracted to a woman or just generally looking at women?
The reason I ask is that my boyfriend and I are just beginning to see each other's bodies naked and semi-clothed and I feel a little (sometimes ALOT) self-conscious because I am worried that I look fatter and less attractive when not clothed. Everybody's body looks different when not hidden under clothing, no matter how skimpy a dresser they are, and I was just curious to see what the other members thought about this.
Is it merely my paranoia (and many other girl's I know) or is it something that is overlooked when you are in love/attracted to someone? I feel more comfortable in my own skin when I'm alone, and am worried about cellulite, stretch marks, scars, wobbly bits whatever when I'm naked with him.
It's not an obstacle in our relationship because he tells me I'm gorgeous and that he loves me and that is an incredible confidence boost, but is it because he loves me that he "doesn't see" the little/big imperfections? (also because we are only really starting to do this and it hasn't become an issue or topic of conversation)
Any comments would be really interesting and helpful, thanks.
atomic
Replies:
Everyone (men and women) has their own ideas of what is beautiful, hot, sexy, etc... My idea of a sexy man is probably different than others and my husband's idea of a sexy woman is different than others. Yes, we do make initial judgments when we first lay eyes on a person and if we don't like what we see we will look elsewhere. However, your boyfriend is already with you so he obviously likes what he has seen so far. We all worry about how other people see us and probably always will. It's always nice to have your man tell you how hot they think you are, so you are lucky there. As time goes on you will be more comfortable with yourself and with him. Enjoy every minute.
sexykitty
Nothing personal, but obesity is one of my biggest turn offs... Everyone can plump out a little bit, but as soon as you cross over ~15lbs above (or below for that matter) ideal weight, I'm out. Would I still love you? yes... just I wouldn't be with you anymore. (pregnancy is obviously not included in my I'm out clause... )
Although there are some people with legitimate medical issues, for most... it's eating too much and moving too little. Not being mindful of your body, and being arguably lazier than you should be, neither of those things do I find attractive.
I think the no shaming fat people has gone way overboard... and we are now made to feel like lepers unless we embrace fat as beautiful... another consequence of the great 'obesity epidemic." I'm not for shaming people, we all have our demons to battle... but I am not going to lie to anyone to protect their feelings.
cool macs
My husband and I both (me even more so) have gained quite a bit of weight since we got married. But honestly, it doesn't matter. I love him for the man that he is, not what he looks like. And he says the same thing about me, and I am pretty self conscious too. But he is always telling me how beautiful I am and how lucky he is to have me. When you love someone, all their imperfections are just part of them.
As for being self conscious, I bought one of those big light up Himalayan Salt lamps for the bedroom. It is neat because it lights up with a red hue... very sexy. And it is enough light to see everything, but not feel like you are on total display. I love it.
Smv