OP: loss of innocence with loss of virginity?

This is a good question...

I don't think so necessarily; it depends on the situation. To say that sex causes the loss of innocence is quite depressing...:( considering that sex should be a pleasant thing.

I blame the media for this view. That if you have sex, you are no longer innocent, no longer clean... (THIS BELIEF IS A BUNCH OF BULLCRAP!!!!)

The whole loss of innocence is sexist, notice that women are equated with being "innocent" and "child-like" Men? Not so much, because they are raised not to show any vulnerabilities because "it makes them weak"...again, bullcrap.

The loss of innocence idea is applied to women who are victims of sexual abuse, because they had something done to them against their will, but I do believe men lose their innocence too to the extent of the way they are raised.

Rambling time:
Remember up until the age where boys and girls can recognize the differences in themselves, we all act alike. We do know how to love at a young age, and then society tends to mold what is socially and "genderly" acceptable. Anyone remember cooties?? That was the start of the divide.

(Please make a note that "genderly" isn't even a word, again to begin marking down differences in what a male and female should be is??? You guessed it, bullcrap.)

Don't get me wrong, I do believe loss of innocence does occur, I think this is when the loss of COMMON SENSE happens. But sex in general, does not dictate that we have lost our innocence. In fact, with sex, there is and only should be transcendence.

sensualGoddess

Posted: 03 Oct 20:48

I'd argue that there is... It's one step closer to becoming an adult, and one step further away from being a child... and I think we can all agree that there is innocence in childhood.

cool macs

Posted: 03 Oct 20:50

Thank you for your opinion, Goddess :)

I think sex does not make you loose your innocence. Perhaps if anything happens that forces someone to do any sexual things will. As in: it may be impossible to look at things from an innocent perspective. I guess it's not simply the sexual thing; it's the combination of something violent+something very close to you...

Also: I didn't feel less innocent when I actually had sex with my bf. Of course there was something weird about it; I was desiring things I did not long for before. Also: the transcending flow of energy kind of made me feel innocent. To experience it so 'open' to all the love in the universe :)

The thing that did get in my way was using anticonception. We did since the beginning. In my opinion it was the most favorable not to get pregnant, but also no problem if I would: just an unexpected beautiful result. When it became something he absolutely didn't want, it made me feel like the innocence of the act of making love was slipping away. It wasn't just love. It was made into something more heavy: a little burden, a danger that is lurking every single time... Which actually makes it harder to let go of my mind and fully enjoy the flow of energy through my body and back into his...

About the media: I wouldn't know. Does it simply resonate an overall feeling? Or does it implement that thought into society? Anyways, I myself do not have different visions on men and women about this.

What does intrigue me is the way the loss of innocence is a theme in poetry, music, even today's lyrics. Nightwish has dedicated an album to the loss of innocence, called 'Century Child' (and dedicated more songs to this theme on other albums as well). I think this simply gives a voice to all the confusing feelings: what is expected by society, religion, parents; feelings and urges you have; etc. Phrases such as these emphasize this (BTW: these lyrics are more like poetry, even if you don't like the music ;))
-"Why is it the deadliest sin to love, as I loved you?"
- "I'm in love with my lust, burning angel-wings to dust."
- "I studied silence to learn the music. I joined the sinful to regain innocence. Heaven queen, cover me in all that blue. Little boy, such precious joy is dead to the world"
-"Remember my child, without innocence the cross is only iron. Hope is only an illusion. An ocean's soul. Nothing but a name. The child bless thee and keep thee forever"

RedRoses

Posted: 03 Oct 20:50

The idea of loss of innocence being related to sexual activity traces from several religious traditions and from the Victorian period when women were not thought capable of sexual pleasure. This stuff did not hold much sway on the Continent, or with the lower classes, who experienced sex as another normal bodily process.

The French were historically thought to be more open about things sexual and they coined the phrase demi-virge (roughly semi-virgin) to describe those who had experienced everything except vaginal penetration by a penis. The various mating rituals, now usually thought of as stages of making out, all lead to the same thing. By the time I took a penis into my vagina, I knew more about what it would be doing than about what my body would be doing.

Where along the continuum from innocent (unknowing) young girl to being a mother do we become knowledgeable?

Brandye

Posted: 03 Oct 20:50