She gets upset at my viewing porn... also, I lied that I stopped...
I'm a 24 year old male who is madly in love with my girlfriend.
my problem is this: i cant stop lying to her. she getsvery upset about me looking at porno. and i told her i stoppped doing it, then she was using my pc and found porno..we faught for a week and eventually got back together, then the same exact thing happend i told her i stoppped and she found more porno on my computer. now she is telling me to explain to her why i look at porn. i dont even know what to say, i swear its just normal for guys to look at porn.
her main argument is that she doesn't satisfy me and thats why i look at it, but she does satisfy me...very much so. but i always find myself wanting to look at porn. can anyone give me some advice? i love her so much and im going crazy without her in my life.
lonelyandcrazy
Replies:
It sounds like this is not about porn, it's about power. Follow the logic, she doesn't want you to look at porn because it means (to her) that she doesn't satisfy you.
If she's right instead of making you stop looking at porn she'd be concentrating on making sure you are happy and satisfied.
She's passing a law that you clearly are going to break... It wouldn't be a lot different if you took the position that she's not allowed to feel insecure because you look at porn.
You are going to have to negotiate this. You're correct that it's "normal" for guys to look at porn. It's not uncommon for women to feel threatened when they do.
In a sense, this is just one of many issues that will require you both balance your needs and wants and build a relationship that works for both of you.
WallyLlama
You need to come to a concensus. If porn is absolutly out of the question for her and you're not going to stop - tell her you're not going to stop. The ball is then in her court. But if you continue to lie to her she won't trust you on other things as well.
Maybe there is a compromise somewhere....only look at or watch porn together, or you only look at it when she's away...I don't know.
I wouldn't keep lying, it'll only make things worse.
jayda
A girl can get insecure about porn. There are many reasons. A lot of them have to do with her own insecurities, others have to do with you. She may feel that she is not as attractive. SHe may feel that you're not attracted to her. She may feel that you prefer porn to her. SHe may feel that she doens't satisfy you. On the other hand, maybe you are guilty of some of those things. MAybe you do make her feel annatractive. Maybe you yourself don't satisfy her. Maybe you don't she her that she satisfies you. Not accusing you, just giving you a point of view.
She might have given you a rule because it was hurting her badly, and that is rather common it seems. She might want you to explain why you need it, so she can understand why you need something like that while you got a life breathing and willing gf at home.
If you love her as much as you say you do, then you should strike a compromise. Pay mroe attention to her. Give her more affection. Maybe make love to her more often. Compliment her more. Maybe watch porn together. Figure something out that will work for both of you. And quit lying, becuase if you lie about porn, why should she then belive that you telling the truth about loving her or being faitful. Just giving you a girl's point of view. Hope it helps
LittleFury
i agree with the first post that this could be a control situation for her. it also could be a genuine threat. here are a couple ideas: first and foremost, stop lying to her. but to make her more comfortable with you watching porn (which is normal), ask her to watch with you, making it a couple's activity. or, make your own and watch those. that way she knows you are fawning over her body. if she's unwilling to compromise and try to understand then you need to let her go and find someone who is sexually as comfortable as you. best of luck.
kitty_robyn