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OP: my lesbian partner is very reluctant

Hey guys. I'm new here, and hope I can contribute to other newcomers and maybe other people who I may have more experience with certain things, but I actually found this forum looking for a solution to my current scenario.

Alright, I am a 24 year old lesbian, and my girlfriend is a 27 yr old lesbian. Neither of us are bi, we have been together for 3 years now. We are completely and utterly in love, and have an amazing sex life, but there are something things I'd like to do, and I'm not quite sure, maybe I could get some advice.

Here's the thing:

I don't mind penetration. I never got off while having sex with a male, simply because I'm not attracted to men, but when my girlfriend uses a strap-on, just seeing her face and seeing how it affects her, can make me orgasm. She really gets turned on by using a strap-on on me, and it brings her to orgasm very quickly, just through the act. (She's relatively easy to please in any situation.) But, she's never really cared for penetration. I think a lot of that comes from the fact that she never gives it a chance. I didn't really think I would care for it, but seeing how turned on she got at the idea of using a strap-on on me, I figured a few years ago, we'd give it a try, and now I really enjoy it.

She seems a little bit harder convinced, though.

She's still hesitant about letting me stick my fingers inside her, she prefers external stimulation, but to me - the idea of putting my fingers inside her and giving her a vaginal orgasm really turns me on. It's something I really want to do. I think if she gave it a chance, she may really enjoy it. I've noticed that when I'm fingering her and she's grinding into me, sometimes she will push my hand further down and I'll slide a finger part way in, and it seems to make her cum quicker.

She's really good at what she does, and I'm more open about letting her try new things on me, but she seems to get into the groove of wanting the same thing, and I'd like to try newer things, like maybe giving her a g-spot orgasm. Anyone other lesbian couple here ever experience one partner that really didn't experience penetration in a good way and wanted to not do it? If so, what did you do to persuade them otherwise?

I mean, I don't want to do it if she won't enjoy it, but I don't see how she couldn't. She's very experimental with me and loves doing all kinds of things, I just want to be able to return that and give her more intense orgasms. She's made me ejaculate before from a g-spot orgasm. I'd like to do the same.

Any suggestions or techniques are welcome. Even if it's just maybe easing her into getting used to penetration, to maybe come to fully enjoy it.

mac_chick

Posted: 30 Sep 07:48

Replies:

OK, I am bi- and so is my usual partner. We have been thus for a very long time.

The psychology of lesbianism is very complex. There are those who want the full variety of pleasures including penetration. They tend to be more open (no pun) to exploration of female parts. There are those who are in partial denial of being women. They tend to avoid those experiences that identify them as female - vaginal penetration is clear signal of being a woman.

This could be an amazing discussion between you or with a helper (counselor) exploring the meaning of being a woman. My g/f and I, many years ago, learned much about one another searching for our G-Spots.

Then, we could both be identified as lipstick lesbians and are each amenable to heterosexual experience.

Brandye

Posted: 30 Sep 07:48


Thanks for the advice!

She definitely identifies as a lipstick lesbian. We are both very femme. (The type that most people won't know we're gay unless we tell them otherwise.)

That may be the issue. We always joke around and I'll say jokingly "Yeah I wear the pants." And she will jokingly argue, but in the bedroom, she is definitely the dominant one, and that's the only role she's willing to take, but to me, sometimes I want more, but I don't want to make her do something she's not either going to be comfortable doing, or something she won't enjoy. Because if she doesn't enjoy it, I don't enjoy it. I just can't help wanting to do those things to her, obviously, I'm a lesbian too, and yeah - I like when she uses a strap-on and I like when she goes down on me (she lets me go down on her too, but it's not very often because she orgasms very easily, so it's pretty much over before it starts), if anything, I'll get her all hot and bothered and sometimes, when she's close, then I'll go down on her. It just seems like I'm really open to letting her do whatever gets her going, but I'm afraid to ask for the same.

Maybe we just need to have a conversation about it, and maybe I just need to explain to her that certain things just really get me going, and I would really like to do certain things to her.

Maybe we'll have that conversation this week. She's off Tues and Weds so we'll see what happens.

Thanks again.

mac_chick

Posted: 30 Sep 07:48




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