OP: Black and white painful 'pimples' on labia

No way to determine what this may be without an exam. If you have shaved in the past, there is a good chance that you have ingrown hairs and some infected follicles. Good hygiene and warm sitzbaths should help.

That would be ok even before you see the doctor, otherwise, see what she says.

Brandye

Posted: 24 Sep 00:40

Thanks for the reply. I'm going to the gynae tomorrow. I've done a bit of research and think maybe they are some kind of ulcers. What would cause these? My bf doesn't have anything and we always use a condom anyway. Are vaginal ulcers something to worry about? Can they come back once they are gotten rid of?

sexy_angel

Posted: 24 Sep 00:40

The bad news is ..... vaginal ulcers are merely symptoms of something else.

The good news is ..... probably not; you are seeing your doctor tomorrow; stop self-diagnosing. When we diagnose ourselves we make things worse than they usually are.

Brandye

Posted: 24 Sep 00:40

so i went to the doc and he said its herpes! :( now my 'problem' is this....they said its only transferable through a partner.... now i trust my partner like the back of my hand....he hasn't cheated - if he did i would know anyway coz he's a hopeless liar. And neither of us have had any cold sores.... and we have ALWAYS used a condom.

so the hell did i get this??? i am so upset right now. is it possible he had it and it was latent from a past partner? This would be around 4 1/2 years ago however. what other possibilities could there be? I would really like some answers!

oh and the doc prescribed zovirax cream. she said that i can also take some pills but they are bloody expensive - i have no insurance. she said to see how it goes with the cream first to avoid the cost. she also didn't run any tests or anything - just diagnosed by looking. They are at quite an advanced stage now as its been since Saturday evening since the pain started. now they show very blatantly

sexy_angel

Posted: 24 Sep 00:41

And this is what your description is indicative of. Vaginal ulcers do not show up on the labia as you describe. Active herpes is easily diagnosed without any specific test.

Herpes can be contracted whether or not a condom is used. Note where they showed up on you. A partner was having some sort outbreak and the open (tiny) lesions infected you through direct contact. His lesions could have been hidden by his pubic hair and, absent any other symptoms, unknown to him. Yes, it could have been latent for a long time; it is also possible he cheated. You will never know for certain. Similarly, it could have been latent in you from a past partner - if you had any. He should, of course, be checked as soon as possible.

Cold sores, while related, are not the same virus and are not indicative of genital herpes; nor is their absence indicative of not having genital herpes.

This is a shock but not the end of the world. Take a few days to digest the diagnosis and then seek out a herpes education and support group. Most herpes patients lead perfectly normal lives for all intents and purposes. Some care with sex is needed. There are increasingly effective treatments and many women have borne disease free children.

Brandye

Posted: 24 Sep 00:41

Also look on the CDC site about HSV1 & HSV2...read about the diseases. This may help to sort out further questions. You do not need to have obvious symptoms to pass in on to a partner...condoms help prevent transmission, he may have not known, or he could not have been truthful...either way, you are where you are for now. Digest much info and talk to him, do not make accusations though...you have to look at your health first right now.

sera300

Posted: 24 Sep 00:42

I'm really sorry to hear this happened to you, but like Brandye said - it won't be the end of the world. With a little education for both you and your partner, you can still live a normal life. You might just have these painful outbreaks on occasion.

Let this be a lesson though, in case your current BF is not going to be your partner for the rest of your life. EACH partner has the responsibility to get tested before you start having sex. I have always practiced safe sex and I have always demanded that both of us - me and my male partner - go and get fully tested for STD's before we are sexually active.

Unfortunately, I have come across the attitude from many males, that they do not NEED to be tested, or that they are simply too embarassed to go to the doctor and ask about it. I suppose they think the responsibility lies completely on the woman's side, since we are the ones who go to the gyno each year anyway. But it's impossible for a woman to stay healthy without complete knowledge of her partners medical status, like you unfortunately found out. So if there is a next time with a new partner, you must demand that he be tested and seen by a doctor, if you have to.

Actually, if I were a male, I think that I would worry more about STD's and getting tested than I do now as a woman. Seems to me that males have a higher incidence of carrying diseases without any symptoms. If I were a man, that'd scare me to death to possibly have something and not even know!

katiebug

Posted: 24 Sep 00:42

Thanks for your replies. I have accepted it now. Obviously my first reaction was anger at him because other than him I only ever had 1 other partner and that was about 4 1/2 years ago - and the closest we had got to sex was 1 minute of actual insertion - and he was a virgin - both to oral and vaginal.

So from my side that obviously leaves that I contracted it from my current partner of 4 years! I believe that he hasn't cheated - he works in a guys only office and always comes straight home to me... and he's feeling such guilt right now. We discussed the situation for a long time and together went through his exes which he thinks might be the cause - however we found it abit strange that it would come out 5 years later. But since you said it is possible - and we did read up about it and found that its possible that he was asymptomatic we think that might be the case.

He has an appointment booked for next week to get checked. He has never got checked before - although I actually used to ask him to do so! :( He was just too lazy to grab a phone and make the appointment! I wish I had just done it for him straight away now!!

Its a horrible feeling because obviously it feels like I was betrayed - although he didnt know about it. He never had any symptoms - nor ever saw in any exes (there were only 3 others). I guess it goes that one of his exes must have also lied.

The worst part is that we have ALWAYS been safe - using both pills and condoms so it really sucks that i have to go through this. I thought a condom would prevent anything...obviously now i know otherwise. :( maybe others will learn sthing from my post at least and avoid this situation.

sexy_angel

Posted: 24 Sep 00:42

Sorry to hear about your situation... that sucks!!
Herpes seems to be more and more common here lately. I mean you always see the commercials on TV. I am assuming condoms don't really help w/ herpes b/c they are in the entire pubic area right? not just transferred from the fluids. So skin on skin is still happening... that's a scary thought!

demonbuttercup

Posted: 24 Sep 00:43

I agree ...good points katie. And that is actually probably what hurts most emotionally right now. That its like he got off scott free for being irresponsible and I had to deal with the painful consequence. I had been 'moaning' for so long so he gets tested and he would always say yes I will and never got down to doing it ....and now this happened.

It is definitely hard to accept. That sense of betrayal will take a while to heal. The worst part is that (although I know its common) I feel like some freak or like I'm being punished for something wrong that I did.

I had a catholic upbringing with taboos on sex.....so it was already a very big step and I was still learning to deal with it slowly....and then this comes along and throws me back like a 100 steps.

I guess I'm just trying to vent my frustration through these posts....but its nice to be able to discuss it with someone other than him. I feel ashamed to discuss it with anyone else...not even my girlfriends. :(

sexy_angel

Posted: 24 Sep 00:43

The most common symptom of an STD is no symptom at all. Regardless of whether or not he had symptoms, it was irresponsible of him not to get tested, especially when you kept asking. And if he gave you herpes without knowing it, what else could he have that he's not aware of? STDs are so prevalent now, it's really frightening. I'm so sorry this happened to you!

browneyedgirl

Posted: 24 Sep 00:43