Well..i agree with my fellow posters..and i'll add some additional thoughts:
1) SWINGING IS NOT LOVE IT IS SEX! When i read your first post, i was initally very understanding of how your husband felt....but as i read more of your posting, i got alot of mixed signals......especially his comments abdout if he got a woman pregnant - but when it came to STD's he was going to wear a condom!
Look, he's going thru mid life crisis. The feelings he has are real. He DOES feel like he missed out. He does feel like he was jipped out of things that others have - and since it was about religion, he's got alot of pent up anger and resentment. Unfortunatly, your marriage is also tied to those time so you're in risk of having your marriage fall apart just because of his feelings about the past decisions that were forced upon him.
This does NOT mean he does not love you.....but it does mean that the more he thinks about it, the more he's going to consider doing something without your consent.
I don't envy you. Because really, you really dont have any ability to change or modify his thinking.......the really only option is to beging peparing yoruself for a divorce. I know this sounds cold, but, lets review things:
1) You are NOT interested in swinging. You don't want to see him with other women sexually, and you don't want to be with antoehr man
2) He feels like he's missed out and is very self-centered when it comes to his sexual needs and exploration.
3) He's giving mixed messages about safe-sex ..and thats a danger to you..both from a disease and pregnancy standpoint!
4) There is also a risk that he's mixing up alot of emotions and MAY get emotionally involved with a woman he has sex with (with or without your knowledge).
So,you can eiether sit back and let it all play out in front of you, or you can take charge and just ask for a legal sepearation or even initally file for divorce (you dont' have to go thru with it, but it DOES allow you to get protected finanacially).
Posted: 03 Oct 22:46