OP: Domination as a nice guy...

Okay, so the title sounds weird I know but this thread is to ask people for advice as to how to get past your own sexual boundaries. I just started dating this wonderful girl and although she seems sweet and proper she is crazy in bed. About two days ago she admitted to being a dominatrix (she even had the whips, chains, boots etc.) and that her ex bf's and gf's loved it. But then she told me she likes to be dominated more.

So I started with hair pulling and she really loves it. The harder I pull the more she likes it. And oddly enough I like it too. Biting....she cant get enough of. Her and I have about 10 hickeys on our bodies (not visible in public though) an strangely enough I have discovered a keeness towards it too.

Anyways to the subject at hand. After about 4 days of fooling around with me being i control, I eventually got really controlling (mostly out of frustration) and started commanding her. Well she was being obedient but as she was going down on me I just grabbed her hair and started (well for lack of a better word) throat ******* her. She loved it, I loved it, and when we were done she couldnt believe how dominate I could be, and she was just begging me to "force" her to give me head more often.

Well as much as I liked it, I feel kinda strange. Like I never thought I would want to do that because when I see a porn where a girls is being dominated in that way, I usually turn it off and am unaroused, but ever since I learned about how much I love dominating, I actually find what we did a huge turn on and I cant get the whole scenario out of my head.

So how do I get passed this mental block because we both really enjoyed it,but at the same time I feel awkward about "forcing" her to give me head.


Posted: 03 Oct 23:08


It is fairly simple really. You are not forcing her to do anything. Dominants do not force people, they lead or direct. The so called "submissive" partner follows that lead, and obeys directions or orders because she or he desires and consents to do so. Many men feel strange about acting out these feelings and are often surprised and perplexed to discover that they enjoy it.
There is nothing wrong with most sexual activity between consenting adults. Draw the line where either of you feel uncomfortable about the physical or psychological safety of and activity.


Posted: 03 Oct 23:08

I consider most of what people do in this regard as acting. There is no real harm done, no black and blues, and no lasting pain. It is a step up from role playing doctor or nurse. You and your girlfriend are willing participants in the "play" and have therefore given consent that is either implied or discussed previously.

Forcing her? Are you really or is this acting out as if part of a script? True force would be doing something without consent such as rape and all that that entails. What the two of you are doing is quite different. Now, having said that, please be mindful of her limits, your limits, and have a safe word just in case.


Posted: 03 Oct 23:08

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