OP: Am i weird for not wanting sex in grade 10?

Nope.

Sounds to me like you got a good head on your shoulders. You know what you want to do and you sound like you're one that's actually going to pursue it and acheive it. I applaud you for that.

I'm almost 10 years oldER and still have no idea what I want to do with my life. Never have. lol.

thetease13

Posted: 02 Oct 20:20

I guess another reason I'm not in a relationship, never had a relationship, and don't expect to ever have a relationship is the fact that I don't expect for one to ever...happen for me. I know I'm not gay, but right now, I don't feel stright either. It's...weird...

megalomaniac

Posted: 02 Oct 20:21

Dude, you're only 14. You're still discovering yourself. Don't worry about it.

I've never had a boyfriend.
I'm involved with someone right now but he's not my boyfriend. He's a friend with benefits (if I must classify him as something).
Without him, I'd still be sitting here thinking it's never gonna happen, I'll never find anyone, and blah blah blah.

I've never been one to chase after people but you know, I always wished it would happen to me cause everyone around me was dating and it kinda makes you feel left out.
But then, I just gave up. I stopped hoping it would happen (and granted, stalker boy didn't help but he's another story). And then, it just sorta found me. I'm happy with him, even if what we have can never be.

Anyways, again, don't worry about it.
If something is meant to be, whether it's only temporary or not, it will find you one way or another.

thetease13

Posted: 02 Oct 20:21

Yes, I suppose. But it is a little bit different for guys and girls, too.

P.S.: Sometimes I think I think too much. I've seriously contemplated suicide off and on pretty much since I was about 10, just because I think too much about how cruel this world is.

Mostly it's only when something terrible happens in my life, though.

megalomaniac

Posted: 02 Oct 20:21

It might be a little different for guys and girls but most girls want to be in relationships. Most crave it. It's like a built in instinct to be girly and to find someone to love them.
I think I missed that female gene. I've never had the desire to be girly. I've never really had the desire to be in a relationship...that is until I met him. I could see myself being with him for a while, but I know that can't be, so I just go with what happens. And he is really the only person I could see myself being with for a while...not because I've never been with anyone else or anything like that...but because...well... I can't really explain it. I'm sure that doesn't make sense so I'll stop with that now.
I can't even say that I want to get married one day. I mean at times I do, but that's more or less when my hormones take over my body. lol.

Trust me when I say that you're not the only one that goes through stuff like this.

Generally 9 out of every 10 people have contemplated suicide in their lifetime. And most considerate it several times...especially when something terrible happens in their life.

I am fortunate enough to be that 10th person. I've never thought of it. I've never cared to end my life. There are times I've just wanted to give up and sleep for weeks, but never kill myself. I don't think that's the answer. I still don't.
I had a friend kill herself last year. I know the effect it had on me and her closer friends. (I did not know her family but I know it devisated them.) I also had a friend whose son killed himself a few months ago. I saw the effect it had on her and still has on her.
I could never put anyone through that.

I'm no teen-suicide helpline here but listen to me when I say it's not the answer.
It may end all your problems, but it will just make everyone else's worse.

And hey, if anyone thinks too much, it's me.
My brain needs an on-off switch. Badly. lol.

thetease13

Posted: 02 Oct 20:21

I feel like my head is too mature for me...

I just feel like...out of place around most people my age. Maybe that's why I have never had a relationahip. Or maybe I'm just insecure. I'm...how can I put this...far from good looking...

I don't know...

I'm just lost...

megalomaniac

Posted: 02 Oct 20:21

I think we've all felt "out of place" at some point in our lives. Whether its in our surroundings or even in our own bodies.
I never was really interested in boys when I was younger. I wasn't "boy crazy". I just went through school focusing on my studies and such. Im 26 and still aren't real sure where my life is headed. You kind of have to just live day by day. Sometimes looking too far ahead into the future makes you miss the things that are happening around you in the present. Does that make sense? lol
Life doesn't always go the way you planned it and when something throws it off track you feel lost and don't know how to regain your footing.

Maybe you are a late bloomer. Maybe your hormones haven't kicked in to full capacity. Don't be surprised one day you wake up and all you can think about is sex...lol. And if you don't thats ok too. Probably would make sure you stay out of trouble lol.
good luck.

demonbuttercup

Posted: 02 Oct 20:22

Lol. Not a late bloomer here. Trust me. I think I got "it" in Grade 5. I don't know if it's late, but I'm not "blooming" now. I think I'm past that stage, actually. It's weird.

megalomaniac

Posted: 02 Oct 20:22

Well look at me. I've always been one to get along better with older people.

In high school, when we would go on trips for band, I pretty much always wound up in the adults room. That's where I hung out. All the other students would be off with their friends and I'd be having a grand old time with the adults.

I always seemed a bit more mature than most people my age and in a lot of ways, I still do.
I have no desire to go out and party and get drunk and wild. I never have. I'm not really saying that's immature, but it's just not for me.

And just because you've "developed" and "bloomed" doesn't necessarily mean that your mind went along with it....and that doesn't mean the maturity of it. It sorta means the...immaturity of it.
I think there will come a day when your mind goes on a sex overload and you will start to experience all the things people your age went through when they were 15 or something.
And, you're not gonna be the only one that has ever happened to either.

thetease13

Posted: 02 Oct 20:22

I'd like to stir in a couple of other thoughts:

Given that you do (by your own admission) have a fairly high opinion of yourself you are destined to have some serious relationship problems and challenges. I'm not sure what you mean by your comment that you haven't had a relationship, but it's tempting to say, "Well, there ya go!" It sounds like the only relationship that matters to you is the one you have with yourself.

I do not mean to say that in a hurtful way, but the fact is most people would rather not get too involved with someone who is self-absorbed. Develop an interest in other people!

Personally, I think it's sad, perhaps even tragic, that you think you have your life all planned out. Living is about opportunities... taking some risks... being a little spontaneous. I'm way older than you are and I still say I haven't decided what I'm going to be when I grow up. For that matter, I haven't decided if I'm going to grow up.

In some respects I was much like you when I was your age partly because I'd locked myself in my own little world. People used to say "he's so serious" and admired how mature I was... and it was all bullshit. Thankfully I somehow discovered the world outside myself was a pretty cool (not cruel) place and I started visiting it... now I like living here.

Come try it.

WallyLlama

Posted: 02 Oct 20:22

Are you weird?

Without knowing you, I can't give a definitive, BUT I'm inclined to say, "Of course NOT!"

It can be difficult for smart people to interact socially in high school. I, personally, did a lot of living inside my own head during that time period. It's FAR too soon to be worrying about "never having a relationship". Many people don't have a relationship til they get out of high school. You say you have "lots of time on your hands", so find something to do where you mingle with other people. What do you like? Join a club, try theater, music, etc... Find out more about yourself and other people. Concentrate more on having friends (of both sexes) than having a relationship. They (relationships) usually happen when you least expect it, anyway...lol. That leads me to my next point...

I think it's great that you have plans for your life. But, while I won't say it's sad or tragic, you could possibly stand to "loosen up" a bit. An important life lesson to remember is "The only consistency in life is that there is no consistency". Don't make your plans so rigid that you can't adjust.

And since I AM gay, I'll say that right now, if I were you, I wouldn't worry about being gay. When you start thinking the football team is kind of hot (or the coaches...lol), then you can start wondering if you might be gay. Until then, I doubt it's an issue.

Take care.

oberon

Posted: 02 Oct 20:23

Thanks, demon, oberon, tease.

Wally, I don't know how you got that I am "high on myself", but if you'd like to enlighten me, please do.

If anything, you wouldn't think someone's who has attempted to commit suicide is exactly high on themselves, but you may have a different way of...thinking.

megalomaniac

Posted: 02 Oct 20:23

Nah you're not wierd, just a normal teenager with a bright future who wants to do something with it. I know alot of kids your age who have absolutly NO idea what they will do or be or even how to live. I was in your shoes once myself but everything changed 17 years ago when my son was born.... I just turned 17 myself so ya know what I did? Kept my future vision while raising my son as a single dad. Now Im not saying you should go make a carbon copy of yourself right away, you have plenty of time down the road. What you might want to explore is just being a kid and nothing less. Lots your age want to just grow up and move into the big world well speaking from experience I would absolutly LOVE to be a teenager again! Only one thing I would change and that is getting up BEFORE noon to live the day.

Relationships, give them a try as it might be your gateway to yet another bright pathway of life and who knows you might really enjoy it after all Ive had the same mate since 12!

Never a dull moment thats for sure! JR---

Jracer

Posted: 02 Oct 20:23

Meh. I guess it's not exactly the fact that I don't want to have a relationship. I'm just really really shy around people my age, because I'm just not like anyone my age. Gets frustrating sometimes.

P.S.: Oberon (who I believe said this), I do have quite a few friends (male and female). I have a lot of hobbies, too.

megalomaniac

Posted: 02 Oct 20:23

Well, it's good that you've been planning. I assume that you're doing well in school, thats absolutely awesome. However, I learned that life can throw you a curve ball. Seriously. BUt change doesn't have to be a bad thing. Just keep on track and if life throws you a curve ball, no need to be worried that it's not how you planned it (unless it's a real bad curve ball:p) .

LittleFury

Posted: 02 Oct 20:24

You said you have female friends... hang out with them a lot. Being with friends is a lot less intimidating than being with someone in a relationship. Things are more casual. You're a smart guy, so let these girls be your teachers. They might even find it flattering if you let them know you're interested in learning what they think of as the "perfect guy". That should also help with the loneliness thing, too.

And, heck, you can always talk to us.

oberon

Posted: 02 Oct 20:24

i feel exactly the same way...i wouldnt call u "weird". is it like u feel mentally disconnected from people ur age? cuz thats the same with me.... except my sex drive and my body r also mature for my age...

anyways....no i wouldnt call u weird in a bad way...its just a little hard to find friends who wont take advantage of ur age....

girl12

Posted: 02 Oct 20:25