We have had men here who object to the smell and/or the taste or the menstrual juices. I have never encountered a man posting here, or in real life, who found the pudenda "disgusting" while still wanting to insert his penis to a vagina.
You seem to want to touch it with your penis but not with your hand. Consider being with a woman who refused to touch your penis but wanted it to be ready to enter her. Make sense? You have developed an aversion to pudenda somewhere. Who knows where or how you learned that the female parts were nasty or dirty or slimy or disgusting. It was learned somewhere. I am not certain that this would fall within the purview of a sex counselor, although I would have recommended seeing one and would even have suggested the same treatment - put on surgical gloves and look around.
Most counselors have dealt with a variety of phobias and that is what this sounds like. Being phobic blocks potentially pleasant experiences. Any woman will realize quite soon that you are resistant to touching her private parts. Given the hangups that many women about their own parts, this reluctance will cause reciprocal withdrawing. You seem to indicate that this has been an ongoing issue with other women. Therefore, I would doubt that it has anything to do with your present partner. I admire her having gone to the counselor with you and making herself available as a "training aid."
Stated simply, if a guy is not going to touch me there, he is sure as hell not getting his jollies in there!
I recommend that you see a psychotherapist who has dealt with phobias of various sorts and see if you can root this one out. It is surely going to affect all relationships with women.
Brandye
Posted: 03 Oct 23:02