OP: Scared to start ttc!

The first kid is always the "life changer". You go from zero responsibilities to keeping a dependent person alive. But don't freak out about it. You will, just saying don't hoping that it'll lessen the blow.

Things will seem upside down for a while. But you'll soon realize it's not so much how your life becomes "harder", rather you soon realize "gee we used to not do shit all day!" Your friends group may change a bit, unless they are all going through the similar stage. You'll not feel like doing things you used to, but that's ok, because you'll have newer cooler things to do. Having your kid fall asleep on you at 2:00am is far more rewarding than anything. But everything's the change with the first. Second kid and on you just pare down what you did on the first. You see all the crap you do that's SO IMPORTANT that really isn't. You quit sterilizing your house in boiling water. You quit worrying if the dog licks their face. You know when to deflect a urine stream with the diaper you're changing so it doesn't get all over your church clothes.

So, more to your question of "are you ever really ready?" the answer is well, no not really. Because how can you be ready for something you have no idea about yet? But just look at it this way, you don't have to be really ready at all! You just need to be ready for the first week. All you need ready for a baby is some clothes, some diapers and consumables, a car seat, and an open mind. Everything else is just a matter of convenience for parents/baby. And besides, if you got pregnant tomorrow, you still have 40 weeks to get ready. Both physically and mentally. 40 weeks is a long time to fret, get over it, fret again, get over that, get excited, get bored, start nesting, and you're done.

So take care, and go have some unprotected sex and don't worry about it. :)

Firmus

Posted: 30 Sep 20:17

Yes & No. You are and you aren't ready to have children. Taking physical care of children is the easy part. Dealing with these small persons running around your house is another thing altogether. The essential thing to remember is JOY IN LIFE - have it! As the lady with 5 sons under the age of 5 once said "If you call often enough, the nice lady at the Poison Control Center will remember you." I can tell you that if you put two little girls' beds far enough apart, they will stop jumping from bed to bed when they're supposed to be sleeping. This all may sound scary but - watching the person emerge as they go from baby to child and then become adults is FASCINATING. You will never be so ALIVE without children. Being a parent is the most wonderful, exasperating, joyous, scary, hilarious, aggravating thing anyone can be. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!

EvilEvilKitten

Posted: 30 Sep 20:17

EEK hit the nail on the head. It's amazing to see something start "from nothing" and progress to the point of giving love back to you on it's own free will. I have a finger painting of a caterpillar on the wall across from my desk that I look up at all the time. My 6 year old made it for me this year. Other people would just see a crappy finger painting of a squared off caterpillar. But I see the 6 years of life and development that got to the point of that drawing. Children are the bookmarks of our hearts. You will always recall everything in your life after children based on what the children were doing or where they were.

Firmus

Posted: 30 Sep 20:17

Thanks for the insight. I'm still torn, part of me say just do it but part of me still wants to wait. Me and the wife have a difficult decision to make.

Love24

Posted: 30 Sep 20:17

Yes, the decision can be tough and you will wonder why/why not ever after. BUT you do grow into being a parent. The trick is to tuck them into your life and take them along with you - while keeping in mind they are children - even if they can clear 5 feet when leaping from bed to bed when they're supposed to be sleeping. You might even find yourself asking, as I once did, a child why she was being so childish? But when that small girl turns to you seeking reassurance, you'd give your life for her and would have the courage of a thousand bears for her sake.

Have Courage to Live & Love Unstintingly.

EvilEvilKitten

Posted: 30 Sep 20:17

I just turned 60 last week, my kids are 22 and 29. Scary? Oh, yes, parenting is a hair-raising thrill ride! But, at least for us, it was THE aspect of our lives which made us most human--I guess it's the MOST REAL thing you will ever do. It remains a very difficult and demanding job for me, but it fills my heart with love and joy, so it's all good! Well, okay, not ALL--the trips to the Emergency Room, were not so good...! But for us, it was our path through adulthood. Looking forward now to the REAL EASY part--grand-parenting!
Good luck,
Michael

mikkiji

Posted: 30 Sep 20:18

i was married 17 years to my ex we were together for 19 years.
she was pregnant twice, once before we were married, and once soon after, lost both to miscarrages.
after that she went on the pill and we used condoms.
never wanted to even try to have kids after that.

current wife had 3 from her previous marriage, after the 3rd (it was a difficult prenancy) she had her tubes tied.
we've been together for almost 15 years, and have never used any condoms, nor is she on birth control.
only had one "scare" early on, when she still lived 1200 miles away.
she called me the day after she returned home, and thought she was pregnant.
turns out is a a combination of jet lag, turbulent flight, very little sleep for 4 days, exaustion, copious amounts of jack daniels, and fucking nearly continously for 24 hours in a "luxury" hotel that catered to sexual antics did her in.
she was fine a couple days later after she got some sleep, and her jaw stopped aching, her swollen lips subsided, and her pussy and ass stopped hurting and burning....

"ive laid more pipe in this town than wabasha plumbing"

wide one

Posted: 30 Sep 20:18