My fiance is 37 years old. We've been together over a year. He plain and simple came out and told me he has no sex drive anymore and that he could care less about sex and that if me and him never made love again, he would be fine with that. What, is going on?! Any ideas? Thanks.
emtjeanine 01/08/2007
Posted: 23 Sep 05:30
Could be meds; could be a life-change; could be the relationship is going south. Whatever, this is not normal in a 37 yo and either he or the both of you need to get help. He should start with a complete physical exam including hormone levels in his blood.
Brandye
Posted: 23 Sep 05:30
Now let me just say i am a 35yr old professional male in the health and medical fields and for the past couple of years has had the same feelings and fears.......But what i did to make it better is i did a lot of research on the net about something thats called Andropause....its when a guys testosterone level is below average and your sex drive and well being is way down.....What i did was start taking DHEA 50-100mg a day and it was amazing my well being came back after about a week and my sex drive went up....I am also looking into a few herbs to boost my testosoterone levels.....Tribularis i believe is one of them.....Let your partner know he is not the only guy in the world that has felt this way.....its actually scary in some ways....And depressing...But all he has to do is try and chage his life a bit and start supplementing himself with a few hormone boosting nutrients that are very safe...
HotBody71
Posted: 23 Sep 05:30
But you're still advocating he change, not her. That he get back into sex. If he's perfectly happy with how he feels, why should he have to change at all? I suggest rather that they set some sort of compromise before they even think about going to a doctor. So what if his hormone levels are down and he doesn't want sex as much, if it isn't hurting him and he isn't worried about it I wouldn't advocate any kind of medical activities.
Quint Notwen
Posted: 23 Sep 05:30
Wait a minute, Quint. No where did I advise pills or anything other than a physical. 37 yo men simply do not lose all interest in sex without reason. The most likely physical reasons can be addressed rather easily. If the relationship has gone south, there are other actions to take. You will note that I included her - that is what "both" means.
And you have obviously not read many of my few thousand posts.
Brandye
Posted: 23 Sep 05:31
If this was a woman, it would be the man's fault for not facilitating her arousal. And rarely would it lead to someone having to go to a doctor, (though there may be a therapist involved if it's a true pathological problem). However, just because it's a man, he has to go to the doctor, get pumped full of pills?
Talk about a sexual double standard. If it's a woman who doesn't want sex, it's the guy's fault or some childhood problem caused from past sexual experience and perfectly acceptable that the woman is catered to, in order to allow her to enjoy things. However, if it's a guy, it's the guy that has to change again because it's the guy's fault for not being interested.
Did anyone actually think that maybe, just maybe he's bored with it? Or possibly that he simply doesn't want sex, that maybe he wants to work on other parts of the relationship? Why does he have to be necessarily 'broken' or deficient because he doesn't want sex?
And why does this freak you out so much? He says he wouldn't care if you didn't have sex anymore. He didn't necessarily say he wasn't willing to ever have sex. Just for once, I'd like to see someone say, 'hey, work with the guy on it and find a compromise.' Because really, why should I forced to take medications and be given hormone treatment, when I'm not really sick. Why should I have my personality and desires modified when I'm perfectly happy with the way I am. (which this guy sounded like he wasn't all that perturbed about it).
Quint Notwen
Posted: 23 Sep 05:31
get him to have a testosterone test. simple blood test. If its low, then replacement therapy may be needed. Low testosterone is not good for general health so he should do that for general health even if not bothered about sex.
get the GP to give him a full physical exam. loss of libido may indicate some other problem, like cardiovascular.
or is he just very tired from work or other stuff? stressed?
Posted: 24 Sep 14:39
