Your “issues” have been at the back of my mind for several hours. Now, I shall address as though you were in my surgery – or office or whatever you Yanks call it. When in University, a partner and I used more than two dozen condoms one weekend. Yes, I was sore, very sore, but the point is that we were twenty years old. Even if I could find him (now your age), he would be neither interested nor capable of duplicating that feat.
You are 45 and you have some health issues. Live with it. Of the many factors that affect your getting it up, smoking, overweight, lack of exercise and lack of sleep are the leading culprits. These then are associated with stress, diabetes and fatigue. You need to look at your total lifestyle, not just getting it to stand proud.
The ideas your friend has come up with for the future all require greater sexual stamina and firmer erection. Not going to happen no matter what dose you talk your doctor into. Anal penetration requires a firmer penis than acceptance into a willing vagina. BDSM requires longer lasting erection than “regular” sex. You need to focus on activities that enhance variety and enjoyment without stressing the reproductive system. Sensual massage, properly done, takes a while, is great for both partners and does not require constant erection. Very few men are any good at it – especially for the specifically female parts – breasts and pudenda, externally and internally. Poorly done it feels like our annual pap smear; well done, wow! Reflexology opens new vistas (literally as well as figuratively). It leads to toe sucking, guaranteed to drive one to new heights, and places you squarely on the autobahn to the back of the knee, the inner thighs and beyond.
No man I have ever met has mastered the art of oral as my female partner. Many women will tell you the same. Does not require an erection, either. Much of this is behind the idea, written up by a man, of “women first.” Our orgasms are more complicated and fragile but once we get there we are willing to do most anything to satisfy our partners. The shot of endorphins a man gets when he ejaculates tend to induce a pleasant lassitude rather than active sexual satisfaction of the woman partner. You two celebrate what you can do rather than worrying about what is no longer practicable.
Posted: 28 Sep 20:39