Of course the thought of this can be exciting to think about, but to do?? You can do a site search with either search engine and learn about previous discussions on the matter.
In a nutshell, the general consciousness is to make this a fantasy that the two of you play out. It won't be exactly a three-some, however, she and/or you can take on the character of the third person like being an actor or actress in a play. You can have the drama without the trauma.
> She said she wanted to try something new and to spice things up and our anniversary is coming up in a month so that might be why she brought it up.
I would suggest learning if the two are connected. Personally, I believe an anniversary is between a couple--three is a crowd, and, what should be a romantic reaffirmation of the love the two of you have for each other gets tainted. If you do decide to proceed with this, do it at some other time.
>This all happened last night so we haven't talked all too much about it but I did tell her that I was not sure if we should go ahead with it.
You must absolutely have an action plan for what is and is not acceptable. One example is what are each of your roles to be.
Second, who is going to be the third person? Friend? Stranger? Acquaintance? How will you find and approach the person about this?
Third, safety and medical protection: are you prepared to show lab results for each of you showing a clean bill of health?
Fourth, can you trust this person to keep secrets?
Fifth, what interactions among you will be permissible? Will it be a free-for-all? Just the two women? Will the third person be able to have intercourse with you? Etc.
> Now a lot of stupid questions started popping into my head like is she bi or a lesbian?
She may be Bi-curious and desires to explore her sexuality.
> Is she having an affair and this is her way to clear her conscious?
I strongly doubt that she is having an affair. You'd know because an affair is rarely just about sex. How is your marriage? How is your relationship with each other?
> Could she be suggesting this because she wants to bring another man into the bedroom as well to even it up? ( There are more)
I'm not a mind reader. Ask.
> I know most guys would say I should be happy and that I'm over thinking it but I can't help but feel bothered.
As well you should be. As mentioned, above, having a crowd in the bedroom often ends up harming the couple's relationship.
> I trust her and love her very much but I can't help but have these feelings. We're 26 now and have been together since our teens. I don't want to do anything that could put our relationship at risk.
Asked and answered. Do the research, then have some heart to heart discussions, as noted. Success depends upon the script as well as the trust and strength of your relationship. Both of you need to recognize the potential for danger and be prepared to work on and fix any latent problems that might come up as a result. How the two of you handle this will often make a difference.
> It is a big fantasy of mine but sometimes things should just stay a fantasy. I just feel that even if a most/all of my concerns are invalid that this could potentially do a lot more harm then good for our marriage. After all there is a 50% divorce rate and I'm sure many of them never saw it coming.
I agree.
> How do you think I should handle this?
This should be included in your discussions as well as what you learn from previous forum discussions.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?
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dancingdoc2
Posted: 05 Oct 23:00